What’s about the dumbest thing you can do, if you’re me, and you finally get your two bathroom remodels done, finally get the kids back in school and you can once again relax and concentrate on writing?
Well, it’s probably this:
In case you don’t follow me on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Pinterest, Neighborhood Watch, Words With Friends, Grindr and Tinder, where I’ve posted about a billion pictures since Friday night, this is our new addition, Teddy!
Yes, I know I already have a son named Jack and now all I need is a fish named Bobby and my house will become the Kennedy Compound Revisited. But come on–he’s a total Teddy. Just look at that widdle face.
Teddy is half poodle, half Bichon Frise, which makes him an unfortunately named hybrid called a “BichyPoo.” (Although, it’s been pointed out to me that “PooBich” is way worse, while also being an excellent name for a new BRAVO TV show.) (And don’t even bother trademarking it because I already did.)
After looking and looking at animal shelters for a hypoallergenic dog for a long time, and after being appalled at the $3,500 price tag that most breeders charge for Labradoodles, etc., I finally found Teddy listed in the newspaper. His owners aren’t professional breeders, per se. More like hobbyists who let their own dogs go to town one wild summer night and then they never cleaned their house again and just wrote a classified ad. I don’t know, I don’t want to think about that too much. Let’s pretend Teddy was born in a French chateau surrounded by harpists.
At any rate, he’s very healthy, sweet and smart and loves people like a maniac who always has GREAT NEWS to share. See? Awwww.
I haven’t lived with a dog in almost 30 years, my husband has never had a puppy, and the boys are used to cats that just sort of do their own thing and don’t need special equipment like pee pads, so let me just say that it’s been a crazy three days. However, the good news is that Teddy has slept every night for 8-10 hours, accident free, in his crate. That’s a big plus. Another big plus is that now I can just throw up a picture of his cuteness whenever I’m tired of writing:
I just took a nap while you were looking at that.
Of course the big question is, “What do the cats think?” and the big answer is, “Not much.” However, they hid for the first day only, and now they are very curious about this gross new thing that slurps water like some kind of animal. (There’s a high likelihood that they think he’s their old nemesis, the Furby.) Both Lola and Virgil regularly hiss at Teddy, but there hasn’t been any chasing or swiping or any “Good God, I’m calling the authorities, woman. Now you’ve gone TOO FAR. TOO FAR, we say!” declarations from Feline Nation yet.
Teddy is smart enough to give them both a wide berth, so I think we’ll be fine fairly soon with the three pets. They probably won’t ever truly love one another, but hopefully they’ll have a peaceful co-existence and reach an understanding. Like Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes did before the lawyers got involved. Here’s Lola investigating the creepy snorting thing in its cage:
She’s all, “When I was that age, I slept behind the refrigerator like a lady.“
I will say that working today has been a bit of a struggle, so I may be behind on things for a few days. Here’s Teddy after I pulled him out of my bag of recycled paper and removed the tin can from his mouth. At least he looks a little contrite. And obviously I will be feeding him all of the paperwork I get from the PTO from now on.
But of course, by far, the best part about having a puppy is how thrilled he is each and every time he sees me. It’s like having a smitten toddler all over again. “That lady! It’s that lady! Oh, my gosh, how I love that lady! The lady is here!” Chris brought him home a doggy bed last night and I thought Teddy’s head would explode. Dogs are definitely more in the “show” rather than “tell” category when it comes to emotion. Cats, of course, are in the “You brought me a gift? Yawn. I’ll take a look after I’m done licking myself for three hours” category.
And now, because I am getting tired of writing and someone needs another potty break, I will bid you all adieu with another Teddy pic:
Is this too many pictures? I don’t care.