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But Why Must Be So Clevah?

by Wendi // June 19, 2014

I’m having a really hard time writing lately. There are probably many reasons for this slump, like the kids are home, it’s crazy hot outside and I’m a little burned out from months of doing lots of freelance work. Plus it seems like as soon as I have the inkling of an idea for a piece, like “How My Thighs Are Like Communist Dictators,” someone else has already written it and guess what? It’s gone viral because they have 2 million rabid Facebook fans and I have three. It can be a little disheartening, if I’m being honest.

Then to make it even worse, yesterday I got an unsolicited email from someone I don’t know telling me that they like my writing, but they think I try too hard and it’s a little “too witty and clever.” Oh, yes, I did. Isn’t that just wonderful?

Of course I really don’t appreciate getting advice from randos, but then I thought about it and realized that maybe this whackjob with a Gmail account has a point. If fact, years ago, when I was a copywriter in Hermosa Beach, I presented my Daewoo car ads to the Korean executives (who had recently arrived in America and who wouldn’t look at me or address me because I wasn’t a man—-true story) and this is what one of them said (to my male intern) after looking at my fun headlines: “Hmmmmm, but why must be so clevah?” I guess he didn’t realize that good advertising would help people forget Daewoo had sewing machine engines in their cars. Where was Don Draper when I needed him? Probably drinking in the cloakroom.

But you know what? Maybe not being witty or clever isn’t such a bad idea. In fact, maybe it’ll help me overcome my writer’s block! I think I should just write things like this from now on and call it a day:

What’s the deal with flip flops? Why aren’t they called feet flops? WOKKA WOKKA A-WOOOOGA HONK!

Or:

I drank so much coffee this morning that my husband got a caffeine buzz after licking my arm! #humor

Or I could just stop trying completely and throw up a few feline pictures, like my new series that I call CSI: CAT because Lola and Virgil always look like crime scene victims:

10367142_10204141926774123_8839650669769887355_nScreen Shot 2014-06-19 at 9.23.56 AMScreen Shot 2014-06-19 at 9.24.10 AM

“Looks like someone got a little too FRISKIES last night. Send in the boys from the lab.” Call me, CBS! Add this to your franchise!

Uh-oh. Was that trying too hard to be witty and clever? Shit. (And wokka wokka.)

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Comments

  1. Carpool Goddess says:
    June 19, 2014 at 9:00 am

    Love this! And thanks for always putting a smile on my face.

  2. Krabies says:
    June 19, 2014 at 9:48 am

    You are also too beautiful and too thin!! Keep up your uncleverness! Krabies

  3. michele says:
    June 19, 2014 at 9:58 am

    You always make me laugh and I look forward to your wit and cleverosity:). Especially love your family vacation posts!

  4. Karen Hambly says:
    June 19, 2014 at 9:59 am

    Wanted to write “Death to randos” but that seemed extreme. You’re writing is perfect.

  5. Missy Stevens says:
    June 19, 2014 at 10:05 am

    Uh-huh to this. Minus the dead-like cats and so helpful commenters (I just have no commenters or FB fans), I’m right there with you.

    I’m trying to embrace the break. Summer is always hard on my creativity. Feeding and sunscreening the kids takes all of my brain power. Apparently.

    I will not use your comment section to rant about how disheartening it is to see all the crappy viral stuff out there. Nope, not going to blather on about it. Oh, but I could.

  6. qwertygirl says:
    June 19, 2014 at 10:06 am

    Sewing machine engines–awesome. Crime scene victims–awesomer. Please continue being too witty and too clever. It suits you, and it amuses me.

  7. Anne says:
    June 19, 2014 at 10:09 am

    You keep being clever, hon.

  8. Amy says:
    June 19, 2014 at 10:43 am

    Yes I have often thought you were too “funny” and too “hysterical.”

    WTF.

    Get a life, loser. Wendi is a gem. And that’s not just me being a sycophantic follower, I just did a quick poll of everyone in the world and THEY voted for “gem” when asked them “Wendi Aarons is most like:

    A. A gem
    B. A cabbage
    C. Super funny but clearly trying too hard because randos can’t seem to be as funny
    D. A Barry Manilow super freak

    D was a close second.

  9. VIRGINIA WOODRUFF says:
    June 19, 2014 at 10:50 am

    #humor #clevah #betterthanfacebookquizzes

  10. Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 says:
    June 19, 2014 at 11:01 am

    YES PLEASE MORE CSI: CAT SORRY FOR YELLING I’M EXCITED.

  11. Stephanie says:
    June 19, 2014 at 11:13 am

    I feel the same about all of it (except the too clever thing – you’re at least an appropriate level of clever). I want to take a break for the summer, but I’m trying to squeak out the things I’ve already promised. It’s like trying to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube. I’m fried. I can think of about 50 things I’d rather be doing. And, as you know, I’m always good with the cat pictures. Keep ’em coming. And keep fighting the good fight. It’ll come back to you.

  12. Astra says:
    June 19, 2014 at 11:15 am

    I can only dream of being too clevah like you .. but I would look you in the eye when I say so. Keep up the good work 🙂

  13. Laurie says:
    June 19, 2014 at 11:16 am

    Oh good! Does this mean those of us that are dull and kind of stupid will have our day now?

  14. Amanda says:
    June 19, 2014 at 11:23 am

    It’s only people who aren’t witty and clever who think others should be like them. Keep it up, Wendy!

    I would soooo watch CSI: Cat. That would be the best show ever.

  15. Ellen says:
    June 19, 2014 at 11:37 am

    What a response — even cleverer and funnier! Plus the Cats in Photos sealed the deal; I laughed louder than usual!

    Spoiler Alert: Serious bit follows.

    I had a hit of criticism recently (from a friend; oy). Doesn’t feel very good, but I tried to accept it gracefully and keep going. I did change some stuff, too. Doing better now, thanks.

    Which is why I appreciate reading your FABULOUS HUMOR — it makes the sting go away!

  16. suburbancorrespondent says:
    June 19, 2014 at 11:37 am

    Oh, that HAS to be your new tagline! Unless, of course, that would be too clever. Now I’m confused.

  17. Julie says:
    June 19, 2014 at 11:59 am

    The world needs more clevah. And Cat SCI. Definitely Cat CSI.

  18. Pam says:
    June 19, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    Your writing is hilarious. Personally, I would be pleased if I ever got hate mail or anything resembling it- I think that’s a sign you’re a big deal. Not too big of a deal, however:)

  19. alexandra says:
    June 19, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    Didn’t work. Trying to be not clever not witty made you cleverererER and wittiesterestesinger. So, just keep on with the regular hilarious.

  20. Sharona Zee says:
    June 19, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    Haters gotta’ hate.

    Do not change one little thing (except the addition of more Cat CSI)

  21. Gdot says:
    June 19, 2014 at 2:12 pm

    I love it when people tell you you’re too something
    I get ‘too beautiful’ and ‘too humble’ like ALL. The time.
    and I get that it’s annoying. Power through this with a box of wine and some reality TV. You’ll feel better about your self and you’ll be drunk. So win win
    And no one can take that away. No one

  22. Sans says:
    June 19, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    One can never be too perfect.

    CSI – Cats Sleeping Insouciantly.

  23. Tracey says:
    June 19, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    Joke ’em if they can’t take a…uh, never mind. See I NEED you to be witty and clevah for me!

  24. Cait says:
    June 19, 2014 at 8:00 pm

    Am I one of your 3 rabid fans? If not, I’ll try harder!!

    Also, PLEASE continue CSI: Cat. I love this series.

  25. Sarah says:
    June 19, 2014 at 8:29 pm

    I just met you. Kind of. In a meeting on Facebook kind of way. I don’t find you TOO clever. I find you just right. Smart. Funny. Those are my favorite kind of people. And my least favorite kind of people are those that take the feelings that they are having (examples: I’m stupid or I’m jealous) and put them onto other people instead of dealing with it themselves. I love CSI cat. It’s funny, too. And not TOO clever. Again, just right.
    Love, Goldilocks

  26. the mama bird diaries says:
    June 19, 2014 at 10:30 pm

    I agree with suburbancorrespondent – totally your new tagline. xo

  27. Kellianne Sweeney says:
    June 20, 2014 at 5:59 am

    Clevah is as clevah does. I enjoy it immensely

  28. Adrianna says:
    June 20, 2014 at 8:32 am

    CSI: CAT = winning. I love you Wendi!

  29. Vikki says:
    June 20, 2014 at 9:12 am

    So many critics, so little time. It’s hard out there for a blogger right now.

  30. Liz says:
    June 20, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Being too clever is like transgendered unicorns–impossible.

  31. Jennifer Snarkypants says:
    June 21, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    Those who can’t be “clevah” criticize those who can. I also agree with Cait, I like the CSI: Cat, I would tune in for that alone and then you would have 4 rabid fans.

  32. dusty earth mother says:
    June 22, 2014 at 5:26 pm

    Good car. You buy.

  33. Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes says:
    June 23, 2014 at 6:37 am

    But I like you clever! Please don’t change!

  34. France says:
    June 24, 2014 at 4:10 am

    So, if “I love you just the way you aaaaaare” (as somebody once said), does this mean I’m also too witty and clever?
    I sure hope so!

    PS: CSI cat encore! (especially liked the black paws peering out from the chair)

  35. Marinka says:
    June 25, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    More cat photos, please!

  36. Emily says:
    September 4, 2014 at 9:29 pm

    I had tears. My husband wanted me to read it to him and I couldn’t do it without crying. CSI: Cats. I would so watch it.

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