The Neuter Scooter
The Pussy Wagon
Dr. Bob’s Tail Chaser
House Calls for the Housebroken
Official City Dog Catcher
The Flea Flicker
Must Love Dogs and Agoraphobia! Vet Services
Andy’s Anal Gland Massage Kia
Spay ‘n Run
Raise your hand if you’ve figured out I have a bit of writer’s block happening! I don’t even know what to say about the above. It’s U-G-L-Y You Don’t Got No Alibi YOU UGLY bad. But in my defense, it’s the end of school, it’s humid and all I hear in my head right now is the buzz of bees and a little calypso music. Also, I hear a jackhammer, but I think that’s coming from my neighbor’s backyard where they’re either putting in a pool or another Walgreen’s. Hard to tell.
I do hope this malaise of mine will soon pass and I’ll be back to writing about important things like the woman who yelled at me at Spin class last week. She was on the bike behind me, so it felt like she was chasing me for the entire thirty minutes. Good motivation, yes, but it gave me flashbacks to that time when I was 10 and had to outpedal Large Barb, the town bully, on my Huffy. Fortunately she didn’t catch me or I wouldn’t be around to write things like “The Neuter Scooter” today. Anyway, please keep me in your thoughts, everyone.
In the meantime, I was very flattered to be asked to be a guest on the Austin American Statesman’s Shots podcast last week. Omar Gallaga (@omarg), big deal tech reporter, and Addie Broyles (@broylesa), big deal food writer, invited me to join them for a really fun discussion about waterparks (Did you know that “Schlitterbahn” means “I just swallowed someone’s Band-Aid” in German?) (Texas joke), how to handle summer home with the kids, and what we’re saying to scare people away from moving to Austin. If you want to take a quick peek, click here.
Or, if you just want to listen to it and not look at my streaks of grey and weird shoulders in that shirt—what the hell, am I getting broader?—click here. That’s probably your best bet.