This week many people on the internet seem to have forgotten the “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” rule because social media has been loaded with what I call the “at leasts.” Facebook, Twitter, blogs, websites—I’ve seen the “at leasts” everywhere. It doesn’t matter what someone says or how they say it or when they say it, someone else will still feel the need to “at least” them like it’s some kind of competition. Like this:
Status Update: My pregnancy is making me so nauseated. I can hardly keep any food down. Ugh!
Comment: At least you can get pregnant.
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Status Update: I think the cleaning woman broke the 100-year-old family heirloom picture my grandmother left me. I’m devastated.
Comment: At least you can afford a cleaning woman.
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Status Update: Ran 2.5 miles in 20 minutes. My feet are so sore!!
Comment: At least you have feet. And paved streets. And you’re educated enough to know how to use a stopwatch.
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Status Update: Just spent 10 minutes on the phone with my mom. She drives me crazy!
Comment: At least your mom still speaks to you.
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Status Update: I’m such a spazz! I totally burned the hubs’s dinner tonight.
Comment: At least you have a hubs and didn’t have to force your cats to sit at the dining room table with you. At least you didn’t have to go to Urgent Care because Tinky and Winky escaped their high chairs after dessert and scratched you senseless.
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Status Update: It’s so cold in Iowa today. I’m freezing!
Comment: At least you’re not here in Canada where it’s -200 degrees windchill. There’s been a f-ing goose frozen to my leg since last Tuesday.
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Status Update: My daughter fell down and broke her arm today. I haz the sads.
Comment: At least she’s not in a full body cast like I was in ’85.
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Status Update: It’s such a glorious day today!
Comment: At least it will be until big government tries to take it away from us.
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Status Update: It really bothers me when I get snarky comments from friends.
Comment: At least you have friends.
So please, if you’re going to leave a comment for someone, at least make it nice. It’s the least you can do.
At least people leave comments on your blog.
At least I have a blog.
I was all ready to be serious and then that comment.
Listen, I am so glad you wrote this. The comparing, the vying, the incessant neener-neener, I have it worse crap is toxic.
Thank you.
Hilarious and so true. Is everyone so insecure we have to try and one up each other over everybody about everything? Craziness!
At least you have fingers with which to type this post.
But what if I really do have a goose frozen to my leg? WHAT THEN?
I have seen this a lot, too. It is so passive aggressive!
On another note, I am worried that the government will take the beautiful weather away! 😉
Traci
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for writing this. I’ve begun to feel so cynical about all things social media because of this type of bullshit. In a desperation, I’ve staked a claim over on LinkedIn ~ for real.
The worst part about all of this garbage is when it’s coming from people who were in my world long before the internet was a gleam in Al Gore’s eye. The toughest part is the realization that most of them don’t even understand that they’re behaving worse than kindergartners.
Now I have to go back and look at all my comments and hope I didn’t at least someone. I’m sure I have, especially last week when it was below zero.
At least I have a little Wendi in my life.
You either “get” the medias that are social or you don’t.
My wife is a sweet, funny, smart, interesting woman and talented writer and she’s not very good at the social medias. She doesn’t do the “at least” comments, at least.
I think their are less people who are good at writing on line than there are who can wear a thong bikini.
I’m trying to get into bikini shape so I can call myself a social media failure.
People without kids get this kind of thing so much I think I just don’t even see it anymore. I only use it in four alarm emergencies when someone points out to me how carefree and awesome my life is because I don’t have children. It’s their fault I say “At least you’ll have someone to take care of you when you’re old.” I mean statistically we’re about as likely to end up in a state-run facility because their kids will be totally busy, but I don’t like to drop that hammer. I have some scruples.
It’s terrible when my insecurities manifest themselves online. The “at least” voice is my inner voice to me all. the. time.
Sorry. I was a little cranky the day I left the frozen goose comment.
Art least I have a goose.
At least I have a leg.
But it’s still fucking cold.
at least you got a blog post out of it
At least YOU have oxygen to breathe.
At least I have Wendi to read!
In my extended family, we call similar behavior “one-upping” and it usually begins with “Well…”. It can apply to happy or sad stories; the other person (usually my father in law) just has to prove that HE has been happier/luckier/more miserable.
“Well, when I broke my leg, it was in THREE places and I couldn’t walk for SIX months.”
“Well, when I was a kid, I got to eat homemade bread like this EVERY DAY.”
Awesome.
At least you have a sense of humor.
Ha! The funniest Public Service Announcement I’ve read in a long time!
I ate a fly today.
My grandma drives us bonkers doing this in real life. It’s a good thing she’s not on the Internet.
At least Manilow is still cold kickin’ it live.
I know this feeling well. I had THE MOST HORRIBLE day last week and my sister told me to look for the blessing. I don’t WANT to look for the blessing WHILE I’m mad. I need to stew a while, then tomorrow I can look for the blessing.
Must be the Polar Vortex bringing everybody down. At least you had fingers to type this. Mine got frostbitten and fell off.
So spot on.
Manilow is cold kickin’ it live! Bahahahaha!
You crack me up! Is the At-Leaster a variation of the One-Upper or a different species of Hater altogether?
Ha! Snorted out loud at this: “There’s been a f-ing goose frozen to my leg since last Tuesday.”