Every year on my birthday, no matter where I am or where they are, my parents call me and sing “Happy Birthday.” And some years, my mom goes on to tell me the story that I’ve heard my entire life. The one about how my dad had to eat a peanut butter sandwich for Thanksgiving the year I was born because his wife and new baby girl were still recuperating in the hospital.
“But I didn’t mind,” he always makes sure to say, “because it was a really good peanut butter sandwich.”
With a Thanksgiving debut like that, it’s no surprise that my Turkey Days have been a little less than traditional for most of my adult life. I haven’t ever had to resort to eating a peanut butter sandwich by myself, but I’ve come pretty close a few times.
Like the time Chris and I took the boys to Corpus Christi with a plan to enjoy a fancy hotel’s champagne dinner, then a family walk on the beach at sunset. Instead, Chris spent four hours in the ER with 3-year-old Sam and a bad case of conjunctivitis, I spent four hours driving a screaming 1-year-old Jack around town and we had to eat our Thanksgiving meal at the only restaurant open that day: What-A-Burger.
Or the time we were newlyweds in Los Angeles and went to Chris’ strange boss Gary’s house for dinner. I think I started drinking when I saw that we were eating on their pool table, I know I continued drinking when the dinner discussion turned X-Rated and I finally stopped drinking after I passed out on Gary’s daughter’s pink canopy bed and my husband had to carry me out to the car while quietly hissing that I had just ruined his career. (I hadn’t.)
Over the years I’ve had Thanksgiving meals in casinos, on the beach, at picnic tables and on the balconies of friend’s condos.
I’ve shared Thanksgiving Days with my sisters, my in-laws and people I didn’t really like but they had nowhere else to go, so what could we do?
I’ve spent Thanksgiving as a new mom with a six-week old baby, then two years later, as a new mom with a four-day-old baby who weighed less than what was roasting in the oven.
I’ve eaten burnt turkey, dropped turkey and turkey that was cooked upside down. I’ve eaten deep fried turkey that almost set the house on fire. And I’ve eaten turkey that still had the bag of innards left inside it. Twice.
I’ve dressed up for Thanksgiving, dressed down for Thanksgiving and once wore a giant purple bucket hat to an expensive restaurant because I’d accidentally splattered grease on my face the day before and looked like a blonde zombie.
I’ve been a lonely 20-year-old Oregon college student whose boyfriend drove 500 miles in one day just to cook her a Thanksgiving meal. And even though that boyfriend is still cooking for her, he’s never again made anything that tasted as wonderful as the instant potatoes, pressed turkey and boxed stuffing did that day.
I’ve told the joke, “Did you hear Butterball had to recall 2 million turkeys this year? Seems that they forgot to butter the balls” every Thanksgiving Day since 1989.
Some years I’ve spent Thanksgiving with my parents. Other years, I’ve spent it hundreds of miles away from them. The hardest of which was last year, when I spent the entire day with my phone glued to my hand, waiting for news of my father who’d just had a very serious accident and was in a California hospital awaiting surgery. I wish I could have brought him a really good peanut butter sandwich that day.
I admit that I sometimes feel bad when I look at pictures of gorgeous Thanksgiving spreads or listen to people talk about all of the gourmet meals they’re making for the holiday. I wonder if I should be more polished, more structured, more traditional for my kids’ sake. If I should take the decorations and trappings of the day more seriously. If I should just buckle down once and for all and buy that stupid gravy boat to match my dishes.
But then. Then I come to my senses.
Because Thanksgiving is a day to appreciate what you have. A day to remember to be grateful for your life and all of the terrible and amazing and wonderful things in it. A day to look at your family and your friends and say, “Good God, what did I do right to have these people in my heart?” Thanksgiving is a reminder to embrace what matters to us and hold it close, close, closer. And if you ask me, that can be done anywhere.
Even at What-A-Burger.
You’re right; it can be done anywhere. As long as we remember that that’s what the holiday is about. Hell, maybe your tradition is being less than traditional. I know full well as long as I had my family about, I would totally eat at Pizza Hut on Thanksgiving. (Their spicy wings be the bomb, yo!)
This year will be 12 years since I had my first non-traditional Thanksgiving (the whole giving birth part made it so).
Tradition can get sort of repetitive after a while. Much better to mix it up a bit!
As much as I enjoy Funny Wendi, I think Serious Wendi is just as awesome.
We always did the stuffed shirt, fancy china, dress up clothes kind of meals at Thanksgiving when I was growing up. I think it would be remarkable to have just one random casino, beach, or picnic table memory to shake things up a bit.
Regardless of how and where you spent your Thanksgivings, it’s obvious that they were filled with family and friends and happy times together. I hope the same for you this year.
Without the burns, of course.
Lots of love,
Lady Steele
Thanksgiving is so much less about what you’re eating than who you’re eating it with. When you realize that… even a peanut butter sandwich is worth being thankful for.
“Good God, what did I do right to have these people in my heart?”
I love that.
I love traditions, keeping them and breaking them. It’s kind of like the law. I’m glad we have laws, but some of my best memories involved breaking them.
Think we found your soft nougaty center. Beautifully done, Wendi.
Wonderful Wendi.
This Thanksgiving I turn one of those Ages that people hear and go (oh!).
I have fixed Thanksgiving Dinner since i moved out on my own at 18. Never fancy dress just lots and lots of food, family, and friends.
When my daughter called from out of state to say that their family would be able to come this year…my boys and their familes were coming also I almost got greedy and asked my husband to just take me out for dinner this year. after all who wants to cook a huge meal on their birthday. But luckily good sense found me and i realize that i don’t care if i make a turkey spread or eat a peanut butter sandwich (sorry had to borrow) if it meant that my family would be together. We only have these few days on Earth and should surround ourselves with friends and family at every opportunity. so dear Wendi and followers…Happy Thanksgiving and may your days be filled with love and happiness
Lovely post, Wendi! Brought a tiny tear to my eye and made me wish we Dutchies celebrated Thanksgiving too. Have a great one, where ever it may be! X
I love when you throw us a curveball – that was beautiful
From the opening sentence, I just knew this was going to end with me crying. Beautifully written and so very true.
Love this post. There are times I feel like I should be doing more or be able to get it together to serve a beautiful meal with a decorated table. That last paragraph is like poetry! Thank you!
I can’t believe Chris is so cool about your boyfriend still cooking for you.
Damn, Wendi. This post buttered my balls and then some. Happy Birthday and Thanksgiving!
Oh my. This might be my favorite thing you’ve ever written. Seriously. I might have to buy you a what-a-burger for this one.
I’m with Shari. I’ll go get the little cups of Ketchup for you. Beautifully done, and thanks for the reminder.
wonderful post.
my mother, who used to be a travel agent, once messed up the day we were supposed to travel for thanksgiving (we literally just boarded a flight on the wrong day) and while they didn’t catch the glitch on our first flight, they did on the next one so we spent Thanksgiving at the TGI Fridays in the DFW airport. and the nite.
am grateful for all the hilarious mishaps we’ve had on holidays through the years because they make for GREAT family stories
I hate Thanksgiving. All that cooking, all that cleaning up, no gifts.
Sniff. Sniff. I loved this. And I love Chinese take-out on Thanksgiving. xoxo
Reading this just helped me realize that I’ve always had the same Thanksgiving, at one of the same houses, with the same people. And I’m thankful for that, especially this year because my grandmother is losing her faculties and returned home today from the hospital. I also realized that I just returned from the market without the ingredients to make the cake I make every Thanksgiving. I think they’ll appreciate me if I arrive without it, but not as much. Back to the store!
I love this post Wendi. Truly love it. I’ve had a ton of different thanksgivings even one gourmet one that we went and had drive thru Jack in the Hole after. It is all about being thankful for what you have and not expecting perfection.
So sweet about the boyfriend.
Beautiful piece, Wendi. And I agree…gravy boats are so overrated.
Thanks for helping me to put things into perspective this morning Aarons! Lovely post and very true. This morning I was feeling less than thrilled about the upcoming holiday but you helped me see things differently and more positive. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours and Happy Birthday if I haven’t already told you that. Xoxox
A man who will drive 500 miles to cook/eat with you is a keeper.
As is the woman who inspired him.
What a lovely post this is.
Pearl
Look at you, being all funny AND touching.
[…] Vancouver, Canada. We would shop, eat sushi, and enjoy a lazy four-day weekend in a fun city. This great post by Wendi Aarons reminded me how much I loved those atypical turkey day […]
I really wish Norway would celebrate Thanksgiving. Some do, but there’s no real tradition for it.
We do celebrate Christmas in style, but to have a day designated to being grateful sounds perfect to me.
You’re absolutely right. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you eat, the main thing is to be surrounded by the people you care about and love, and to appreciate what you’ve gotten out of life so far. To look ahead and to remember the past, but to also remember to live in the moment.
I hope you have your perfect Thanksgiving, and that everyone in your life is healthy and safe.
– Helene
PS: feel free to send some of your Austin heat our way, it’s way too cold here in Norway 😉
I love this post. The reason Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday is precisely because all we’re asked to do, really (sorry marthastewartrachelrayjamieoliver) is just… be grateful. For loving and being loved, for the planet (even in its current climactically ransacked stated)…Don’t need a matching gravy boat to give thanks & feel gratitude.
This post is an obvious plea for a nice Thanksgiving dinner. Stop begging. you can come to my house.
Heh. You said “balls.”
No, seriously. This was lovely. And happy birthday!
After my baby girl was born, I spent Christmas eve eating a take-out burger my husband brought me in the hospital. You never forget these things.
So sweet! My heart is warmed!
Love, love, love this.
Love it! <3
Beautiful post. I too have had an odd mix of Thanksgivings. Wishing you and yours a happy day!