Wendi Aarons is not a serious candidate.
Wendi Aarons has a troubled past.
Wendi Aarons was born in North Dakota, which might not even be in the United States.
Wendi Aarons has a history of fiscal irresponsibility, mostly at outlet malls and the discontinued Rice-A-Roni shelf at the 99 Cent store.
Wendi Aarons tells everyone she’s a Marxist because she thinks that means pro-mullet.
Wendi Aarons’ only foreign policy experience is the one time she made out with a Canadian in a Toyota after eating Taco Bell.
Wendi Aarons looks like Female Fabio if she doesn’t brush her hair.
Wendi Aarons supports a woman’s right to choose, except the women at her nail salon, who OMFG, cannot choose a nail polish to save their stupid lives and stand in front of the color wall for two fucking hours making the “Hmmm” noise while Wendi has to cool her jets with an old copy of In Touch magazine that Wendi suspects is actually written by highly evolved squirrels who are clearly obsessed with The Big Kardashian and Twilight.
Wendi Aarons is easily irritated.
Wendi Aarons spent 15 years of her life thinking the “ball room” at IKEA is where they hold formal Swedish dances for the workers.
Wendi Aarons is funding her campaign with Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons and Box Tops.
Wendi Aarons plans to balance the federal budget using the Weight Watchers point system.
Wendi Aarons was recently reprimanded by the assistant manager of Cinemark Theaters for throwing popcorn at the screen during the Glenn Beck movie preview.
Wendi Aarons then had the gall to ask for a free refill.
Wendi Aarons showed her true colors by calling the new PTO President “Pol Pot with an off-brand boob job.”
Wendi Aarons’ subsequent apology to PTO Pol Pot was clearly not sincere considering it included the line, “Sorry you got your humungo granny pannies in a wad, babe.”
Wendi Aarons still doesn’t understand why she was put on trash can patrol at the PTO school carnival.
Wendi Aarons regularly gets wine and water confused.
Wendi Aarons is so not good for our country.