Dork #1: Myself
Dork #2: Ann Imig, star of stage, screen and the hilarious blog AnnsRants.
The Occasion: The 2012 Rose Bowl match-up between the amazingly talented Oregon Ducks who proudly boast me and the guy who played Dr. Johnny Fever as distinguished alumni and the (cough) Wisconsin Badgers whose alumni include Ann and some semi-professional jugglers.
Important Note: The sports knowledge and inside-football talk between us here is very high-level, so you may need to consult ESPN.com or ask a clerk at The Foot Locker to explain it to you later. It’s really amazing that we don’t have our own sports talk radio show by now. I think it’s because we’re too hot to be taken seriously.
Anyway, here we go:
Later, we tried to make a bet about whose team would win, but then we got into a fight about how much cuter the Duck’s costumes are than the Badger’s costumes and I don’t know what happened after that, but now I have to give Ann $100 and my plastic duck lip whistle and that pisses me off because she doesn’t even know the first thing about quacking.
But I do. Which is why if the Ducks win, I plan on calling her later and leaving a 10-minute long version of “American Pie” done in duck quacks on her voicemail. I’m putting on Chapstick right now in preparation.
GO DUCKS!

I’m impressed that you got all the way through that without even one honey badger reference.
–Sweetums.
And here I was thinking you were discussing the Rose Bowl PARADE.
I can’t believe you all watch football.
Says the girl with the NHL Winter Classic Game on.
I love you, Wetland Creatures.
Skinny jeans with webbed feet BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ah god, I am DYING laughing!
i have never understood sportsball myself, so i am totally impressed with anyone who does.
Two words for y’all: hi larious.
I think I just realized I understand even less about sports then I thought
Just tell me your husband didn’t have to watch the game from Crumb Couch.
I was feeling bad that I missed the entire game because I was the putz who said “girls, does anyone need new shoes before school starts again tomorrow?” and was immediately trapped at the mall for 2.5 hours. Now, not feeling so bad.
They had some cute sandals at Aerosoles for the webbed of feet, btw.
Laughing Out Loud. Refuse to use the acronym, but I really was, so whaddya do?
I’m such a dork I don’t even know what the Rose Bowl IS, ok? (I’m an NFL girl.)
I will say this: I just looked it up and Oregon’s uniforms are WAY cuter. Also? Portland is super cool, so Oregon wins.
Oh Wendi, you do “quack” me up!! 🙂
What the f is going on? I don’t even know what sport you guys are talking about.
Judging from the score, I’m guessing that both teams, in a fit of practicality, decided to save money and bring only their offense teams….but on to more important things:
Wendi, for losing the bet, she should have to replace her answering machine message with your serenade.
My college didn’t have enough money for an animal mascot. We just had “Sticky” the stick. I mean, until the whole copyright infringement thing…
OMG! Priceless conversation. (I’m stopping in from the Mama Bird Diaries.)
I get so turned on when mom bloggers talk sports.
I heard Don Mc Clean stole your idea and it’s gone viral on YouTube.
Better lawyer up, sister.
Those skinny jeans won’t pay for themselves.
You should host a sports-trash-talk online seminar. I’ll bring Chapstick. Online Chapstick, obviously.
Now all I can picture is a duck in jeans. Which, now that I’ve pondered it, would make quite an amusing avatar.
You are funny, woman. If you want, I will send you Jude’s Long Island Ducks plastic quacker lips, which make an extremely loud and unpleasant duck quacking noise when blown into by the 8-year old ad nauseum. No really, I will. Just send me your address and they are in the mail. BTW, did you sell the couch?
Funny women.
I am so dang lucky to know funny women.
Thanks for the smiles.
DUDE, how do you get your contact pictures to show on your texts???
Also- Hilarious.