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Why My Husband’s Not Talking To Me

by Wendi // October 16, 2011

Last week I noticed that our household was down to its last check, so I quickly went online to order new ones from my bank. The first choice you have to make in this process is whether or not you want plain checks or the checks with Tweety Bird or NASCAR pictures on them. I, of course, opted for the plain ones because the last thing I want to do is pay extra to entertain some poor accounts receivable schlub down at the electric company. I’m just not that nice.

After choosing the plain checks, the next design choice was whether or not you want to put a fun or inspirational saying on your checks. I’d never heard of this before, so I spent a few minutes clicking on some of the options and rolling my eyes at how stupid they were. I mean, what kind of nimrod puts a saying on their checks? Does everything need to be customized? Are we, as a society, that narcissistic? I couldn’t believe that anyone would actually do this.

Cut to yesterday when our new checks arrived and my husband immediately pulled them out of the box because he had to write one out to an auto body shop and another one out to the IRS.

About ten seconds after he started writing, his pen suddenly came to a dead halt. Because this is what he saw right above the signature line:

 

Yes, apparently when I was clicking on all of the stupid sayings, I actually selected one. And now “LIVIN’ LARGE AND TAKIN’ CHARGE” is on all of our personal checks. All 250 of our personal checks. Which, I guess, answers the question I asked earlier about what kind of nimrod puts a saying on their checks. Now everyone who gets a payment from us is going to wonder why we suddenly think we’re Hank Williams Jr.

But maybe the poor schlub down at the electric company will enjoy them. Because my husband—well, not so much.

Or at least that’s what I think he’d say if he were talking to me.

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Comments

  1. Kyle says:
    October 17, 2011 at 3:24 pm

    That’s awesome – and horrible! I didn’t even know you could put sayings like that on your check. I think you picked a good one. 🙂

    I guess it’s time to start paying bills online…

  2. Rainyday says:
    October 17, 2011 at 4:01 pm

    Thanks for the giggle – I needed that!

  3. Andi says:
    October 17, 2011 at 5:28 pm

    OMG, I just fell off my chair! Hilarious!

  4. Laura @ Casa del Hansen says:
    October 17, 2011 at 5:29 pm

    That is amazingly awesome. :o)

  5. The Flying Chalupa says:
    October 17, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    You are so Texas, Wendi. Way to let the clowns who are taking your money know who’s boss.

    I can’t believe you didn’t put “Hook ‘Em.”

  6. Joanne says:
    October 17, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    OMG! I still can’t breathe from laughing so hard. My husband has got to read this one!

  7. Lady goo goo gaga says:
    October 17, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    Omg, I love it!!! You cannot make this stuff up!!!

  8. Annie says:
    October 17, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    OMG! Laughing so hard when I read this. Soo funny!

  9. Sophie says:
    October 18, 2011 at 1:49 am

    It’s totally not your fault. I’d sue them.

  10. Rikki says:
    October 18, 2011 at 11:24 am

    Don’t obsess about it.

    Anyone can screw up. Of course, screwing up 250 times with one stroke is a kind of impressive feat…

  11. HerMelness Speaks says:
    October 18, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    Let’s hope the IRS don’t reach the conclusion you are living large as a lady of the night and charging for it. Just saying.

  12. Mellowdee says:
    October 18, 2011 at 11:31 pm

    Hahaha! Of all the sayings… Oh man, that cracks! me! up!

  13. Courtney says:
    October 19, 2011 at 8:20 am

    This is pretty awesome! I would embrace it and live large and take charge!

  14. Kizz says:
    October 19, 2011 at 11:11 am

    Best slip ever.

  15. Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him says:
    October 19, 2011 at 12:22 pm

    Writing checks at all is pride swallowing in today’s digital age so I say you write that with as much bravado as you can muster.

    Refill them with “Breakin’ Necks and Cashin’ Checks….”

  16. WebSavvyMom says:
    October 19, 2011 at 1:27 pm

    –>I guess it could be worse and it could have ready, “Suckas, we ain’t got no money.”

  17. Luna says:
    October 19, 2011 at 9:40 pm

    Haha. If that were on my cheques, it’d be irony.

    I only write them for the condo fees and my kid’s school, so that’d be extra funny.

  18. Megan (Best of Fates) says:
    October 20, 2011 at 8:10 am

    Okay, I can’t stop laughing. That’s SUCH a hilarious check – of all the sayings, I can’t believe you accidentally chose that one!

  19. dusty earth mother says:
    October 20, 2011 at 8:09 pm

    Oh, I’m in pain! I cannot stop laughing, my husband is looking at me like I’m psycho. Too too perfect.

  20. Suniverse says:
    October 20, 2011 at 8:27 pm

    I think that’s going on all my correspondence from now on.

  21. Suebob says:
    October 21, 2011 at 8:18 am

    Why can I see myself doing thing? Funny!

  22. Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah says:
    October 21, 2011 at 8:52 am

    THAT IS AWESOME.

  23. ellemck1 says:
    October 22, 2011 at 11:49 am

    I need to check and see if my company offers pithy-saying checks. I need some!

  24. Karen Sugarpants says:
    October 22, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    Hahahaha… that is all kinds of awesome!

  25. Saturday Six #80 says:
    October 22, 2011 at 5:01 pm

    […] witty writer and her posts always make me laugh. You have to read her post this week titled: “Why my husband’s not talking to me,” it is […]

  26. Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] says:
    October 22, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    At least it wasn’t “Live. Laugh. Love.”

  27. jen says:
    October 23, 2011 at 4:47 am

    here from Misadventures with Andi. This is so funny, especially since the IRS was getting the check.

  28. Ascapecodturns says:
    October 23, 2011 at 6:01 am

    SO FUNNY!!!! Thinking of this is going to have me cracking up all day 🙂

  29. Leigh Ann says:
    October 23, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    OMG that is CLASSIC. Well done. By accident.

  30. Ilana says:
    October 24, 2011 at 8:32 am

    Now I am super excited to order checks. Is there a “create your own saying” option? If so, I’m using: Living Large Just Like Wendi Aarons.

  31. Saturday Six #96 says:
    February 25, 2012 at 11:21 am

    […] and Wendi Aarons delivers it in spades. Last October Wendi wrote a hilarious post called “why my husband is not talking to me” and this past week was part two of the saga which once again had me in tears. If you need […]

  32. Lady Jennie says:
    February 27, 2012 at 10:12 am

    I followed this post from Andi’s Saturday Six and I am beet red from laughing. Thank you for giving me such a lift. 🙂

  33. The Grouchy Mom says:
    March 1, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    I’m cracking up! Out of all the phrases you could have accidentally picked!

  34. Saturday Six #80 - Misadventures with Andi says:
    April 3, 2013 at 9:47 am

    […] witty writer and her posts always make me laugh. You have to read her post this week titled: “Why my husband’s not talking to me,” it is […]

  35. Saturday Six #96 - Misadventures with Andi says:
    July 28, 2014 at 1:41 pm

    […] and Wendi Aarons delivers it in spades. Last October Wendi wrote a hilarious post called “why my husband is not talking to me” and this past week was part two of the saga which once again had me in tears. If you need […]

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