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In case you actually made it through this post and want even more, last year’s wonderful rejected hearts can be found here. ( And no, they’re not much better than this year’s batch. Sorry.)
If you want to make a Rejected Heart of your own, click here. Email it to me at waarons@hotmail.com, and if I get enough, I’ll post them next week. And please, try to stay within my very high standards of taste and decorum, okay? I have a reputation to uphold.
These are great. I’d love to do a couple but I got nothin. Blank. Empty. I’ll come back and try later. . .
Oh my little Fanillow… these are so charming. I am especially fond of Want 2 C My C-Sec Scar. (Personal reasons.)
OH MY !!! I am dying here!!! My abs fav is ‘I wet my pants’ LMAOOOOO
I am sooo down with all the weather and being shut in with kids..you are SUCH a pick me up.
Laughing. So funny.
Damn, that’s funny. I just snorted wine out my nose. I can’t decide which I appreciate most –
PTA Slut, Wax My Winter Leg Hair, or Spanx Me. Maybe I’ve given away too much about myself with these choices…
Ok, this is wayyyyyyy too much fun. I am going to make Christmas cards and comments on report cards. This could be a new career right here baby! Thanks W!
Bwahahahahaha!!! Stroke my mullet! Best darn heart, ever. Thanks for the laugh Wendi, as usual!
My favorite is PTA Slut. I knew some of those women in the mother/daughter fashion show were doing it with the shop teacher.
PTA Slut. Yeah, that’s me.
Can’t decide between “I wet my pants” and “I’m sticky”.
Awsome!
OMG! Lick my muffin top!! ACK! You are bad! But so, so funny! I have to sit my muffin top down for a while to think of something heart worthy……
Walmart Tranny? Now there’s a new one for me…
These are classic! I can’t come up with anything to beat those. You always make me laugh.
hysterical!
Ok, I sent you one…I doubt it’s funny, but it just came to me.
Very funny. I like “I slept with Tiger…” Good God, who hasn’t?
i love the “slept w/ tiger” one. makes me think of your, i mean his, awesome family xmas letter. 🙂
Those are too wonderful. Can’t pick a favorite but “John Edwards Slept Here” is up there along with “Lick My Muffin Top.”
Fabulous!
Leave it to you to take the sweet out of sweetheart… Good stuff!
Love these! Every single one.
Wetting one’s pants and c-section scars- the new sexy – yeah baby!
I just wet my pants for I Just Wet My Pants.
I died of laughter. Damn you bitch you kill me!
Please tell me there is somewhere I can make something like this for real.
I would so buy a bag of these.
LMAO!
Friggin’ fantastic. The Tiger one made me laugh the hardest. You rock, girl.
I’ll ask around at the hospital tomorrow and see if we can come up with anything good. For teh time being, these are going to bring smiles to all the overworked ladies of the NICU 🙂
I’m embarrassing myself at this coffeehouse by how hard I am laughing at these. You better patent this idea because next V-day, I want about 30 boxes to hand out to my girlfriends. Seriously.
xoxoxo
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Those are amazing! Any chance of getting them printed? Because the C-section one is cracking me up. The others are too, but maybe I shouldn’t go into details about which ones exactly.
I think there’s a market for these. 🙂 Speaking of Manilow, did you see him on Rachel Ray the other week? He seems like such a sweetheart!
I think I might be a few of those! Too funny, WA!
Brilliant. Tiger Woods and John Edwards ones are definitely my faves
freakin’ hilarious.
You are the best! Swiffer Bitch. Classic.
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This post was mentioned on Twitter by Shelly_Overlook: Love these! Too funny!! http://wendiaarons.com/2010/02/rejected-valentines-day-hearts-ii.html…
Brilliant. These are the kind of funny ideas I wish I could have come up with first… or get away with stealing.
LOVE THIS!!!!! I think you need to make a movie!!!!!!!!!
of all the mean things to say to someone on valentine’s day, i think “forever mannilow” might be the worst.
Stumbled this. As usual, hilarious. My fave? John Edwards slept here.
Utterly brilliant! I can’t pick a favorite, though I’ve been trying for days.