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Rejected Valentine’s Day Hearts II

by Wendi // February 9, 2010

heart18

heart4

heart6

VD4

heart

heart3

hearts30

mullet

FB

hearts26

bra

heart

heart4

heart

heart9

heart8

hearts21

heart2

hearts28

heart11

heart

heart7

heart15

heart9

___________________________________

In case you actually made it through this post and want even more, last year’s wonderful rejected hearts can be found here. ( And no, they’re not much better than this year’s batch. Sorry.)

If you want to make a Rejected Heart of your own, click here. Email it to me at waarons@hotmail.com, and if I get enough, I’ll post them next week. And please, try to stay within my very high standards of taste and decorum, okay? I have a reputation to uphold.

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Comments

  1. DG at Diaryofamdbathroom says:
    February 9, 2010 at 6:45 pm

    These are great. I’d love to do a couple but I got nothin. Blank. Empty. I’ll come back and try later. . .

  2. Lisa Rae @smacksy says:
    February 9, 2010 at 6:51 pm

    Oh my little Fanillow… these are so charming. I am especially fond of Want 2 C My C-Sec Scar. (Personal reasons.)

  3. Sarah M says:
    February 9, 2010 at 7:12 pm

    OH MY !!! I am dying here!!! My abs fav is ‘I wet my pants’ LMAOOOOO
    I am sooo down with all the weather and being shut in with kids..you are SUCH a pick me up.

  4. ann says:
    February 9, 2010 at 8:46 pm

    Laughing. So funny.

  5. Gretchen says:
    February 9, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    Damn, that’s funny. I just snorted wine out my nose. I can’t decide which I appreciate most –
    PTA Slut, Wax My Winter Leg Hair, or Spanx Me. Maybe I’ve given away too much about myself with these choices…

  6. zalaine says:
    February 9, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    Ok, this is wayyyyyyy too much fun. I am going to make Christmas cards and comments on report cards. This could be a new career right here baby! Thanks W!

  7. Andrea says:
    February 9, 2010 at 9:31 pm

    Bwahahahahaha!!! Stroke my mullet! Best darn heart, ever. Thanks for the laugh Wendi, as usual!

  8. Verna says:
    February 9, 2010 at 10:22 pm

    My favorite is PTA Slut. I knew some of those women in the mother/daughter fashion show were doing it with the shop teacher.

  9. Kirsten says:
    February 9, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    PTA Slut. Yeah, that’s me.

  10. Sophie says:
    February 10, 2010 at 1:07 am

    Can’t decide between “I wet my pants” and “I’m sticky”.
    Awsome!

  11. muffintopmommy says:
    February 10, 2010 at 5:31 am

    OMG! Lick my muffin top!! ACK! You are bad! But so, so funny! I have to sit my muffin top down for a while to think of something heart worthy……

  12. Kate Coveny Hood says:
    February 10, 2010 at 6:11 am

    Walmart Tranny? Now there’s a new one for me…

  13. Jen says:
    February 10, 2010 at 6:53 am

    These are classic! I can’t come up with anything to beat those. You always make me laugh.

  14. Jessie says:
    February 10, 2010 at 7:02 am

    hysterical!

  15. Crys says:
    February 10, 2010 at 7:16 am

    Ok, I sent you one…I doubt it’s funny, but it just came to me.

  16. Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings says:
    February 10, 2010 at 7:20 am

    Very funny. I like “I slept with Tiger…” Good God, who hasn’t?

  17. Cathy says:
    February 10, 2010 at 7:24 am

    i love the “slept w/ tiger” one. makes me think of your, i mean his, awesome family xmas letter. 🙂

  18. Princess Mikkimoto says:
    February 10, 2010 at 7:30 am

    Those are too wonderful. Can’t pick a favorite but “John Edwards Slept Here” is up there along with “Lick My Muffin Top.”

    Fabulous!

  19. Chelsea says:
    February 10, 2010 at 7:45 am

    Leave it to you to take the sweet out of sweetheart… Good stuff!

  20. phd in yogurtry says:
    February 10, 2010 at 7:53 am

    Love these! Every single one.

    Wetting one’s pants and c-section scars- the new sexy – yeah baby!

  21. Becky Mochaface says:
    February 10, 2010 at 8:38 am

    I just wet my pants for I Just Wet My Pants.

  22. Ashley, the Accidental Olympian says:
    February 10, 2010 at 9:38 am

    I died of laughter. Damn you bitch you kill me!

    Please tell me there is somewhere I can make something like this for real.

  23. Mwa says:
    February 10, 2010 at 10:01 am

    I would so buy a bag of these.

  24. Heather says:
    February 10, 2010 at 10:43 am

    LMAO!

  25. Sandy says:
    February 10, 2010 at 11:36 am

    Friggin’ fantastic. The Tiger one made me laugh the hardest. You rock, girl.

  26. Cait says:
    February 10, 2010 at 12:55 pm

    I’ll ask around at the hospital tomorrow and see if we can come up with anything good. For teh time being, these are going to bring smiles to all the overworked ladies of the NICU 🙂

  27. Jennifer says:
    February 10, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    I’m embarrassing myself at this coffeehouse by how hard I am laughing at these. You better patent this idea because next V-day, I want about 30 boxes to hand out to my girlfriends. Seriously.
    xoxoxo

  28. What a sweetheart « These Are Days says:
    February 10, 2010 at 1:42 pm

    […] http://wendiaarons.com/2010/02/rejected-valentines-day-hearts-ii.html […]

  29. Kendra says:
    February 10, 2010 at 5:04 pm

    Those are amazing! Any chance of getting them printed? Because the C-section one is cracking me up. The others are too, but maybe I shouldn’t go into details about which ones exactly.

  30. Surfie says:
    February 10, 2010 at 5:12 pm

    I think there’s a market for these. 🙂 Speaking of Manilow, did you see him on Rachel Ray the other week? He seems like such a sweetheart!

  31. MommaB says:
    February 10, 2010 at 5:29 pm

    I think I might be a few of those! Too funny, WA!

  32. the mama bird diaries says:
    February 10, 2010 at 6:56 pm

    Brilliant. Tiger Woods and John Edwards ones are definitely my faves

  33. Jennifer says:
    February 11, 2010 at 9:50 am

    freakin’ hilarious.

  34. Laura says:
    February 11, 2010 at 11:57 am

    You are the best! Swiffer Bitch. Classic.

  35. uberVU - social comments says:
    February 11, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by Shelly_Overlook: Love these! Too funny!! http://wendiaarons.com/2010/02/rejected-valentines-day-hearts-ii.html…

  36. InvaderStu says:
    February 12, 2010 at 3:55 am

    Brilliant. These are the kind of funny ideas I wish I could have come up with first… or get away with stealing.

  37. Mypheme says:
    February 12, 2010 at 5:00 am

    LOVE THIS!!!!! I think you need to make a movie!!!!!!!!!

  38. peajaye says:
    February 12, 2010 at 9:50 am

    of all the mean things to say to someone on valentine’s day, i think “forever mannilow” might be the worst.

  39. Rita Arens says:
    February 12, 2010 at 10:31 am

    Stumbled this. As usual, hilarious. My fave? John Edwards slept here.

  40. Melanie says:
    February 13, 2010 at 1:05 pm

    Utterly brilliant! I can’t pick a favorite, though I’ve been trying for days.

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