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Gesundheit, Y’all

by Wendi // January 19, 2010

benadryl

MY FUNNY BENADRYL
(to the tune of “My Funny Valentine”)

My funny Benadryl
Hot pink, little Benadryl
You make my sneezes disappear

You’re an antihistamine
Dip..hen..hydra…mine?
And yet I use you with no fear

Is your dye #27 a little red?
Is my immunity a little dead?
When I pop you in my mouth
Do you druuuuuggggg me?

But don’t call me a ju-uhn-kie
Not when you enable me
Stay, little Kirkland Signature generic version of Benadryl that’s, like so totally cheaper but has the same active ingredient, stay!

Each day is Benadryl Day.

(This is from a couple of years ago in honor of Austin allergy season.)

(And it’s way better than my other original song, “My Funny Federline.”)





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Comments

  1. Libby says:
    January 19, 2010 at 9:12 am

    Wow. It’s like you’re channeling Mark Russell, only actually funny.

  2. hokgardner says:
    January 19, 2010 at 9:18 am

    Yep, it’s that fun time of year. My nine-year-old is home from school because of her allergies. She’s got a far-out look in her eyes thanks to those blessed little pink pills.

  3. Mee2 says:
    January 19, 2010 at 10:45 am

    Very creative! Those little pink pills give me a far-out look in my eyes, like hokgardner’s daughter. My drug of choice is Zyrtec. :o)

  4. Sophie says:
    January 19, 2010 at 11:53 am

    OK, I give up. What’s in them?

  5. mommy on the spot says:
    January 19, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    That was so clever!! I wish benadryl worked on my daughter. We use Claritn now.

  6. Emily Ward says:
    January 19, 2010 at 1:41 pm

    Stupid Benadryl.

    When all the meth cookers ruined it for all of us and Benadryl had to change their formula to stay over-the-counter, it was changed for the worse as in no longer as effective. I don’t know what they replaced psuedophendrine with, but I call it “jack-squatium.”

  7. Gretchen says:
    January 19, 2010 at 3:01 pm

    Damn, woman. You are funny.

    The last time I was in Austin, my best friend made me go with her to the Walmart and buy as many Benedryl as they would let me before thinking I was running a meth lab. Apparently, she had already purchased her legal quota for the month. Austin allergies are a bitch.

  8. Surfie says:
    January 19, 2010 at 3:08 pm

    You need to get a karaoke machine and sing this with some My Funny Valentine music playing in the background. Music video ode to allergies, anyone?

  9. Invader_Stu says:
    January 20, 2010 at 4:10 am

    Have you taken too many of them?

  10. Jan says:
    January 20, 2010 at 5:25 am

    Now that I know what you want to get with that $100 for your birthday…you’ll be getting a sweater instead, LOL!

  11. ann says:
    January 20, 2010 at 7:52 am

    You’re an antihistamine
    Dip..hen..hydra…mine?

    LOVE that.

  12. Pauline says:
    January 20, 2010 at 9:16 am

    LOL. I’m hearing Tenacious D singing this song already! 😉

  13. the mama bird diaries says:
    January 20, 2010 at 11:30 am

    You are speaking my language. I’m on Benadryl RIGHT NOW.

  14. Kate Coveny Hood says:
    January 20, 2010 at 9:58 pm

    Love the line about Kirkland brand being cheaper. Does it come in a pack of 500?

  15. Anna Lefler says:
    January 20, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    Dude, I heard the house-trance mix of this in the gym the other morning.

    *Righteous.*

    …A.

  16. redgirl says:
    January 22, 2010 at 10:45 pm

    As far as Benadryl goes, I was at the store the other day to stock up (yum!!) and found that Benadryl “Same great product, fantastic new look!!” or some such nonsense. Now, when I pop open my plus-sized container, I do a double take at the pills that don’t look right, feel funky in my hand (too slippery, with WORDS on them…too slick and flat)…and…well *harder* when I swallow them. This may take some time to get over :'(

  17. Chris Mancini says:
    January 23, 2010 at 11:53 am

    Remember when cold medicines used to work before meth heads ruined it for everyone? Now I have to show my driver’s license for Claritin. That’s the good stuff. It’s a Benedryl upgrade.

  18. Janine says:
    February 2, 2010 at 11:28 pm

    Ahhh…too funny, Wendi. Although I’ve been blessed with no allergies, I do have a great appreciation for song parodies…(I’m a frequent visitor/submitter to a music parody site called amiright.com)…so this made me smile.

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