Hey, Sam! Saaa–ammm! Sam! Sam! Sam! Watch this, Sam!
Loud crash.
Was that funny, Sam? Did you like it when I did that, Sam? You did? Then watch this!
Loud crash.
Was that good, Sam? Want me to do it from the couch this time? OK, Sam, watch me! Watch me! Watch me!
Even louder crash, followed by the sound of breaking glass.
Ha, ha, ha! That was awesome, wasn’t it, Sam? Did you think that was funny? Then look at me again!
Random thumps and bumps.
Wasn’t that cool, Sam? Want me to do it again? This time….with mommy’s purse? You do? OK–watch!
Very, very loud crash, followed by a few seconds of shocked silence, then five solid minutes of an insane adult female screaming her head off about inappropriate behavior, homeowners insurance and why on Earth is it that she can’t have just one lousy minute alone to talk on the phone like the rest of America gets to do? She’s supposed to be a mother, not a glorified prison matron, for God’s sake. Then the adult female goes on to say something about needing to go get the Dustbuster and a trash bag before all of this crap gets ground into the carpet because then she’ll be REALLY upset, believe you me, which is immediately followed by the sound of two young boys desperately repeating, “I didn’t do it” over and over again.
Well, sorry, Sam, but I can’t do that anymore or mommy says she’ll put me in a time-out until I start to grow facial hair. So, I’d better not do it again, OK? Unless…you think I should.
Loud crash.
Ha, ha! That was awesome! Wasn’t it, Sam?
HEY!!
stay outta my living room! …and how did you know about the facial hair thing?!?!?!
You were wrong on the homeowners insurance thing though.. what she actually said was “renters insurance doesn’t cover a massive hole in the floor!” …then the blah blah blah, a mention about eviction… something about cardboard boxes, then she walked out of the house on the phone again.
And yes… i only watched the whole thing happen. Last time i jumped in the fire, obviously i got burned.
I agree with orion whole heartedly! I was just thinking of how at home I feel with this post! Damn, it amazes me what kids will do to get a laugh out of a fellow offender!
What WAS he doing?
Same here.
I’m not too worried about the broken glass (hoping it wasn’t an expensive vase and thankfully they weren’t harmed by it). I am worried about that poor purse. 😉
That little guy is hilarious!! I think it so cute, but of course it wasn’t MY house he was crashing. LOL
How hilarious!
My three boys have been home since September 11th, due to Ike. They have been sitting quietly playing chess, reading Tolstoy, or folding laundry the entire time. I can, in no way, identify with this post.
Oh, I am still laughing about Angelina hiding out from the PTA in a bathroom stall. I am so there. I have even picked up my feet!
ROFL! That is so totally my household! You are my parenting twin, I swear!
For the love of God, what the hell was he doing? LOL
OK, I’m still not entirely sure what Jack was doing, but it involved a pup tent, a lightsaber and a drinking glass.
I think I might have to install some closed circuit cameras up in the playroom very soon.
–Wendi
So this is what I have to look forward to if Baby Bee is a boy?
I don’t know how my grandmother survived having 7 boys in the house.
Coo-ool!! LIGHTSABERS were involved!!
I have 9 Force FX Lightsabers.
What? Is there something wrong with a 30-something year old woman who collects sabers? They’re so freakin’ cool! Especially the nice clashing sounds when I swat my hubbie with it. LOL! OK, I guess I’ll have a blog up shortly about my collection. *smile*
That is totally insane. You think the rest of America gets to talk on the phone without being interrupted by shrieks and “I neeeeed to ask you a question!!!!”
Silly, silly girl.
are you sure you’re writing about your own kids? i could swear that’s the same story my coworker told me this morning about her kid. i believe her words were “holy terror”, and i don’t mean it as in “holy terror, Batman!”
*LOL* I’m the mom of a boy. I feel your pain.
http://momofmonkeys.wordpress.com/
Did you use your indoor voice when you yelled at them?
Hmmm…. Broken glass or raging hormones? Broken glass, raging hormones… I’m not really sure which is worse… but I do know for sure there is no such thing as a peaceful phone conversation when there’s kids around.
Or husbands.
You are making me fear the future with my twins… lol. I am sooooooo screwed.