It’s been a crazy few weeks around here. Crazy. But I want to tell you about my own personal version of “What Not to Wear” that happened when my friend Jennifer and her boss Lauren of Edit By Lauren came over to help me with my closet. After not having a real job for 12+ years, it needed a lot of help. I admit that I was pretty intimidated when the two of them showed up at my house, mostly because they look like this:

And I look like this:

However, they are both so, so lovely and non-judgmental that I felt totally comfortable the entire time. I had filled out a questionnaire for them earlier, detailing what I like to wear, who is my fashion inspiration (70’s Manilow, duh), etc., so they were ready to go. They had me try on some of my pants and dresses (and I never once yelled, “DAMN, MAN, I LOOK GOOD IN THESE BABY BOOTY SHORTS, SO SHUT UP FOOL”), then they magically started putting together new outfits for me with clothes I already owned. I tell you, it was quite the revelation. Another revelation was that I owned 36 pairs of these:

My husband asked me if I was hoping to get hired by Target one day. What the hell. If I sewed them all together, I could cover the state of Texas in cotton twill.

After the closet clean-out, the three of us hopped in the car and headed to Nordstrom to get a few new pieces. Lauren and Jennifer subscribe to the “pay more for an article of clothing you’ll wear a lot” theory, which is much smarter than my “OMG it’s a purple glitter Snoopy XXXXL tank-top and it’s only $2.99 on sale so I should buy 10 of them and keep them in my closet with the tags on until I die!!!!” theory. Repeat after me: The 70% off rack is not your friend.

At the mall, they knew which pieces I needed to complete my wardrobe, and had brought along my old clothes to try on with the new stuff. Smart! They even showed me which necklaces and belts worked the best with everything and how I could mix and match things to get more wear out of my items. I know that all sounds pretty obvious, especially since I’ve been dressing myself for at least four decades, but it was wonderful to get their professional advice and take some risks I wouldn’t have on my own. Leopard print skinny belt? Oh, yes.

Four hours later, I had an edited closet, photos of my outfits, a shopping list and links tailored for me, ten new items of clothing and looks planned for all of my upcoming events. Hooray! No more bathrobe! Suck it, Wendi Lebowski!

Edit by Lauren is in Austin, Nashville and Atlanta (and available anywhere for virtual consulting) and she’s offering these great holiday specials to my readers:

1. A Full Day of Style $550
– Two hours of editing your closet, creating new outfits and evaluating shopping needs.
– A personalized shopping list of the items needed to maximize your style, including photos of your new outfits and stylist notes with tips for accessorizing.
– Lunch at Nordstrom with an Edit stylist and/or your girlfriends
– Two hours of personal shopping services, finding items from your personalized shopping list.
– 30 minute make-up consultation and cosmetic shopping

2. A Half-Day of Style $300
– One hour editing your closet, creating new outfits and evaluating shopping needs.
– A personalized shopping list of the items needed to maximize your style.
– One hour of personal shopping, finding specific items from your personalized shopping list.
– Lunch at Nordstrom with an Edit stylist and/or your girlfriends
– 30 minute make-up consultation and cosmetic shopping.

3. 60 Minute Express Wardrobe Edit $150
– 10-15 new outfits created with pieces you already own
– A personalized shopping list of the items needed to maximize your style
– Photos of your new outfits, including stylist notes with tips for accessorizing.
– One hour of virtual shopping services, used to located specific items from your personalized shopping list.

Trust me, it’s a great investment. It’s also a great holiday gift idea, but it’s probably better if you ask for it rather than have someone just offer it to you because they think you’re some (ahem) loser with 36 pairs of khaki pants.

Thanks, Lauren and Jennifer!