March 12th, 2011
It’s spring break for us this week, and I have big plans to celebrate by cleaning up cat puke and wearing a wet t-shirt while I Swiffer. Then maybe I’ll kick it up a notch and try to get arrested for public intoxication at Target or something. Oh, it’s going to be MADNESS, I tell you. Madness.
Anyway, here’s something I wrote a couple of years ago:
HOW TO CURE SPRING FEVER
1. Take off your pants.
2. Stand in front of full-length mirror.
3. Look at those freaky naked mole rats you call legs and realize you probably shouldn’t have spent the previous four months sitting on the couch watching “Wife Swap” and eating bulk cream cheese.
4. Put pants back on and pray like a motha for a cold front.
Maybe that one could have stayed in the deep freeze a little longer, now that I think about it.
In other news, last week I was lucky enough to be given tickets to see my first ever Cirque de Soleil show called “Dralion.” (I think a Dralion is what you get when you mix a dragon with a lion.) (Not to be confused with a Liger.) (Which, of course, is only used for magic.) Here’s one of the guys from the show who might be wearing a tad too much foundation:
Dralion is at the Cedar Park Center, located about three Best Buys and four Olive Gardens away from our neighborhood, but still a really a great place to see a show. Not a bad seat in the house. As I anticipated, the colors and imagery of Dralion were bold and stunning, the dancing and acrobatics were amazing and the entire two hours went by in a vibrant blur. (And it didn’t even bother me that I have about 5 inches and 100 pounds on every single performer in the show. It really didn’t.)
However, what I enjoyed the most about the night was how much my seven and nine-year-old boys laughed and giggled at the naughty clowns. So much so that the people sitting by us turned around and remarked on how fun it was to hear their laughter. Here’s one of the clowns who was speaking either Italian or French and was sort of dressed like my high school algebra teacher before he was asked to take early retirement:
Thank you to the nice Cirque people for the opportunity to take the kids to see something that made them belly laugh and that, unlike most kids movies, didn’t make me want to bash my head against the wall. The show will be in Austin until spring break ends on March 20th, and so will I.
That is, unless I finally win a wet t-shirt contest and make it to nationals. (Fingers crossed!)
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