Here’s a fun game to play this summer: Put on an 80’s Hits station, either via Pandora, Spotify, satellite radio, or your collection of CDs in the back of the Honda CRX that’s up on blocks in your backyard, then write down the first thing that pops into your head with each song you hear. Because once you’re in your 40’s, these songs are not without their years of baggage.
Here are some of mine:
Men At Work “Land Down Under”: Vegemite
Depeche Mode “Enjoy the Silence”: Clove cigarettes
Def Leppard “Hysteria”: Shaun Chelius, the fat guy from my English class who always smelled like weed and doughnuts and who carved “Deff Lepord” into his desk. He’s probably dead.
Huey Lewis “The Heart of Rock and Roll”: Waiting outside a convenience store with Megan and Karen, trying to work up the nerve to ask someone to buy us beer. Then getting mistaken for prostitutes. Prostitutes in a VW Beetle—who had perms.
Madonna “Material Girl”: The song Kelley Johnson danced to in the high school talent show, right before she got caught drinking Bartles & Jaymes with the gross PE teacher. Or maybe the song was “Like a Virgin”? No, people would have thrown things at her if it was that one. Hypocrisy.
Queen “Under Pressure”: Vanilla Ice is such a moron.
The Police “Don’t Stand So Close To Me”: Didn’t Sting used to be a teacher before he was a Sting? I think this is a pedophile-ish song. The video had sexy schoolgirls. But Sting would never really do something improper, I’m sure of it. He’s not David Lee F-ing Roth.
Billy Idol “Eyes Without A Face”: This reminds me of that Sunday morning I spent trying to zoom up a snow and ice covered steep driveway with Karen in my Chevy Nova. This played on her boombox because the car stereo didn’t work. Neither did Reverse. And the heater smelled like split pea soup.
Bill Medley and Jennifer Warren “(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life”: Drunkenly dancing to this with 10 girls in the dorm hallway while screaming, “DON’T YOU PUSH BABEEE IN DA CORNERS!” (RIP Swayze Gone 2 Soon)
Michael Jackson “Wanna Be Starting Somethin”: Thank god I didn’t get that “Mama say mamma say mamma mo-coo saw” tattoo because I might regret that now.
Wham! “Wham! Rap”: OMG THE BEST SONG EVER! But I’m truthfully very worried about George Michael. He needs to stop crashing his car. Why are you so lost, George? I’m sure Andrew Ridgely is no help. Jerk.
What’s your 80’s song baggage? I’d love to know. (And here’s your 80’s Summer Concert Guide that I co-wrote with Nancy Davis Kho)
And to thank you, here’s a video of the only rap song I can sing by heart, which is not as embarrassing as you’d think:
Frankie Goes To Hollywood: Relax
The first live concert I ever went to, and where I learned what a “contact high” was.
Mine was Aerosmith, Sweet Emotion. I was making out with Chris, the quarterback from my sister’s class, and he told me he wanted to fuck my brains out……silly boy! I was 16! He wasn’t the last one to tell me that, and he wasn’t successful! I do wonder what he is doing now?
Madonna’s Borderline. Reminds me of a date w/ a senior boy when I was a sophomore.
Guns n’ Roses immediately invokes the smells of Drakkar Noir and Jack Daniels. Also, the leather jacket creaking as we made out. Nice.
U2 – Joshua Tree and I’m back in the parking lot of Tower Records that was right next to ASU’s stadium where U2 was playing. We sat out there, drinking beer and listening. Best concert I ever attended.
Smiths – Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now – Hair spray (from teasing my bangs and hair out as much as possible) and being in London for the first time. The tape I had this on was taped off the radio (because that’s how pirates operated in those days) and I listened to it over and over on my Walkman.
Squeeze – Pulling Mussels from a Shell (also Cool for Cats). My high school graduation present of a student trip to Australia and New Zealand. We drank a LOT of beer, and there was making out on golf courses and other similar activities…
I, too, know this rap song by heart. Because I’ve got soul on the dole. Nothing says hard core rap gansta like manscaped eyebrows and denim capris paired with espadrilles. You see that all the time in West Oakland.
“The Warrior” by Scandal. That was the first 45 I bought from the music store down the block called Mini-Mall, which was where I also bought my Desperately Seeking Susan gear. My family car was also a Chevy Nova. The engine light was always on, it overheated on trips more than 50 miles from home, and it wouldn’t start if anyone was sitting in the front passenger seat. I miss it.
Late at night playing Trivial Pursuit calling up the local radio station to make a request.
“Hello WERZ?”
“Don’t you want me?”
*splutter, choke, gasp*
“Will you play Don’t You Want Me?”
“Yes. Yes I will.”
Sister Christian by Night Ranger.
Which makes me think of all the Tickle Pink I drank that summer before I left for college. Many Friday and Saturday nights by a bonfire on the beach, hearing that song as the group I was in turned into couples who began and making out. I was a late bloomer (i.e., virgin), so I pretty much made out with the bottle of Tickle Pink.
I was the drunkest and least pregnant (i.e., still a virgin) by the end of the summer.
Madonna Dress You Up—My cousin would sing “I want to dress you up in nylons. In nylons….all over your body”
The Go Go’s “Our Lips are Sealed” =
my ex-boyfriend’s little sister who thought the song was about “Ollops the Seal.”
I gave her my high school ring from Josten’s because I was going to marry her brother, duh. Oh, and because I didn’t pay for it. (Sorry, Mom and Dad.)
Guess what? We didn’t get married.
To the surprise of no one.
PS: In Shaun’s defense, “leopard” is not spelled like it sounds.
I’m showing my age, but I have 70s song baggage. My sister and I nearly having a fist-fight over “Bohemian Rhapsody” because she said it was Mama who Just Killed a Man, and I said, Mama, COMMA, Just Killed a Man, meaning “I just killed a man.” Obviously. She was having none of this and almost Killed A Sister over it.
Nazareth ..love hurts
The very best summer of my life. Forcing my best friend to wear matching outfits ALL summer (sadly) a laser light show, and being wild and free and twelve.