I’m having a really hard time writing lately. There are probably many reasons for this slump, like the kids are home, it’s crazy hot outside and I’m a little burned out from months of doing lots of freelance work. Plus it seems like as soon as I have the inkling of an idea for a piece, like “How My Thighs Are Like Communist Dictators,” someone else has already written it and guess what? It’s gone viral because they have 2 million rabid Facebook fans and I have three. It can be a little disheartening, if I’m being honest.
Then to make it even worse, yesterday I got an unsolicited email from someone I don’t know telling me that they like my writing, but they think I try too hard and it’s a little “too witty and clever.” Oh, yes, I did. Isn’t that just wonderful?
Of course I really don’t appreciate getting advice from randos, but then I thought about it and realized that maybe this whackjob with a Gmail account has a point. If fact, years ago, when I was a copywriter in Hermosa Beach, I presented my Daewoo car ads to the Korean executives (who had recently arrived in America and who wouldn’t look at me or address me because I wasn’t a man—-true story) and this is what one of them said (to my male intern) after looking at my fun headlines: “Hmmmmm, but why must be so clevah?” I guess he didn’t realize that good advertising would help people forget Daewoo had sewing machine engines in their cars. Where was Don Draper when I needed him? Probably drinking in the cloakroom.
But you know what? Maybe not being witty or clever isn’t such a bad idea. In fact, maybe it’ll help me overcome my writer’s block! I think I should just write things like this from now on and call it a day:
What’s the deal with flip flops? Why aren’t they called feet flops? WOKKA WOKKA A-WOOOOGA HONK!
I drank so much coffee this morning that my husband got a caffeine buzz after licking my arm! #humor
Or I could just stop trying completely and throw up a few feline pictures, like my new series that I call CSI: CAT because Lola and Virgil always look like crime scene victims:
“Looks like someone got a little too FRISKIES last night. Send in the boys from the lab.” Call me, CBS! Add this to your franchise!
Uh-oh. Was that trying too hard to be witty and clever? Shit. (And wokka wokka.)