Want to know the spring fun spot that’s most like your own special snowflake personality? Take this quiz and find out, friend!
1. Your favorite drink is:
A) Chilled white wine
B) An IPA made at a local brewery
C) Delivered to my mouth via plastic tubing
2. The last time you were at Chuck E. Cheese, you:
A) Enjoyed watching the children have fun
B) Had a super good time dancing with the giant animatronic rat
C) Hustled a six-year-old out of $50 at Pop-A-Shot, then puked wine cooler and uppers in the ball pit
3. Your favorite service to get during a Spa Day is:
A) A massage so I can really relax
B) Anything–I love being pampered!
C) Need to answer this with photos because the spa I go to is in a white panel van driven by Petey the Pimpy
4. The soundtrack of your life is probably:
A) “My Way” by Frank Sinatra
B) “Looks Like We Made It” by Barry Manilow
C) Played on a kazoo by a drunk chimp with lice and uncanny musical ability
5. When you sit down in a hot tub, you probably say:
A) Ahhh! This feels so good
B) Where’s the wine lol?
C) Baby Jesus please make this hot water finally kill all the shit those five rounds of antibiotics couldn’t thank you in the lord’s name amen
6. The most important thing to bring with you on vacation is:
A) An open mind
B) A smile
C) The number of a lawyer who habla the español and whose fee can be paid in jail weed
7. You love sharing your travel photos via:
C) Dateline NBC special reports
8. By far your favorite person to sit next to on an airplane is:
A) A grandma visiting her grandbabies
B) Busy businessmen
C) People who won’t tell the Air Marshall when you defecate on the beverage cart because the in-flight movie is “Grown Ups 2”
9. If your life was a reality show, it’d be called:
A) The Happy Well-Adjusted Person
B) Recipes, Cats and Bibles
C) Recipes, Cats and Bibles, But Also Sometimes Meth and Ferrets and Restraining Orders
10. The best thing about going on a trip is:
A) Coming home again
B) Seeing new parts of the world
C) The hallucinations I get after licking the stamp
Mostly A’s: You are sweet, kind and definitely the most boring person on earth next to my weird neighbor Gary who collects “interesting condiments from Asia.” The Spring Break Destination you’re most like is AMISH COUNTRY.
Mostly B’s: You are normal and hard working and probably love Applebee’s quite a bit. You own a fanny pack and you don’t own it ironically, baby. The Spring Break Destination you’re most like is DAYTON, OHIO.
Mostly C’s: I don’t know what the hell Spring Break Destination you are, but for the love of god, you’re taking me with you you big freak.