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My Recent Searches For Long Lost Friends on Facebook

by Wendi // June 7, 2013

Alice Mc something

Larry Polish or Swedish last name, Austin

Boob job neighbor

Did you mean: boob job neighbors, bob bob neighbor, boob job neighbours

No, I meant boob job neighbor

Jason Klinghoff

Jason Clinghauf

Jason Kingheifhof hot heif?? what the hell stupid name

Jason from the 90’s, Wang Chung lover

Lady with all the rabbits and rashes

Blonde girl from Sherman Oaks, SUPER bitchy

Who was that friend of my sister’s who got arrested for pot possession in Idaho?

Guy I worked with at Macy’s who couldn’t spell Macy’s and who got fired for stealing double-D bras and XL thigh highs (allegedly)

That one dude with the 3 nipples? Remember him? I want to say “Kai”?

Stephanie last name starts with a J or P or T. The one from that one summer camp with the mosquito infestation 1986ish

Larry Smith Smyth Smithes Smitty, Austin

Is Cousin Leonard still alive

Gamma Phi Beta who puked on my arm

Alice De something

My friend from yoga with stupid hippie name like Lily Treehouse

Training Bra Susan

Tommy last name rhymes with some kind of pasta

That mom at school who looks like Christopher Walken

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Comments

  1. hokgardner says:
    June 7, 2013 at 8:56 am

    The mom from school who looks like Christopher Walken is me.

  2. Stephanie says:
    June 7, 2013 at 8:59 am

    But does she talk like Christopher Walken? Because THAT would be awesome.

    Mine would include the kid who breakdanced (is that the past tense? Brokedanced?) on the floor of the cafeteria, the douche with the brand new Jeep whose name was Koch, but you had to pronounce it “Cook”, and Amanda, who stayed back twice and then took off to Yellowstone.

  3. The mama bird diaries says:
    June 7, 2013 at 9:14 am

    I’d like to find the 22 year old who I dated when I was 30. I want to see what he looks like now that he’s finally 30 something. Justin something California hot.

  4. Amanda Hill says:
    June 7, 2013 at 9:26 am

    hilarious, as usual.

  5. Kristin Shaw (Two Cannoli) says:
    June 7, 2013 at 9:30 am

    That sounds like the search I did for the guy I dated in college who was the singer for a ridiculously-named local band: Mark Kitty Kitty Young Columbus long hair

  6. Cait says:
    June 7, 2013 at 10:07 am

    I respond to most facebook friend requests with, “Yes, I’m Caitlyn Lawton. No, not the one you’re looking for. She lives in California.” I would accept the requests so I feel like I have friends, but they keep asking questions like “What did you do to your hair?” and “Why are you in New York?”

  7. Sharona Zee says:
    June 7, 2013 at 10:17 am

    Yeah, it’s Tommy Schmetteline, he’s my friend too

  8. Marinka says:
    June 7, 2013 at 10:26 am

    hysterical. It’s nice to reconnect with old friends.

  9. Mexmom says:
    June 7, 2013 at 4:16 pm

    So funny, how do you think they would search for you … hot blonde who loves Manilow ?

  10. Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes says:
    June 11, 2013 at 5:16 am

    I think your hippie – friend works here now…

  11. Becky says:
    June 11, 2013 at 9:01 am

    I think they might now search for Wendi as “Mrs. Six Million Dollar Elbow Man”

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