Things You Shouldn’t Say To Your Bikini Waxer
February 4th, 2013
Please tell the doctor I want my epidural now.
Are you at least going to buy me dinner first?
Be honest: how many grey hairs do you see down there? More than 10?
Now you know why my college nickname was “Sasquatch”!
This would be so much more romantic by candlelight, Taffy.
“WAX ON, WAX OFF!” Hahahaha! Jesus, I wish you were Ralph Macchio.
I don’t want a “Landing Strip” so much as a “Splash Pad.”
If I punch you at some point, please take it personally.
You might want to grab some pruning shears. It’s been a long winter.
OMG, are you using Turtle Wax?
_______________________________________________________
In other news:
In case I haven’t mentioned it before, I’m very pleased to announce that I’m co-producing/directing the 3rd annual Listen To Your Mother Austin show this year with Liz McGuire. It’ll be held Thursday, May 9th at 7pm at the AT&T Executive Education and Conference Center on the University of Texas campus.
Right now we’re accepting submissions to be in the show and more information about that can be found at www.listentoyourmothershow.com/austin. Please spread the word!
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15 Comments
Add your own1. Tara | February 4th, 2013 at 2:31 pm
Oh Wendi how I’ve missed you…
2. Tara | February 4th, 2013 at 2:32 pm
Oh Wendi! How I’ve missed you…
3. Jenni Chiu @ MommyNaniBooboo | February 4th, 2013 at 2:55 pm
“wax on wax off” I’ve actually said that one… not kidding… If only you would’ve written this five years ago, you could’ve saved me some awkwardness.
4. Cait | February 4th, 2013 at 6:20 pm
I’m going to print this out and give a copy to anyone who questions why I’m terrified of getting waxed…
5. Arnebya | February 4th, 2013 at 8:56 pm
Go long.
In my best Terence Trent D’Arby voice: Sign your name across my heart (wait, that’s not my heart.)
6. Lovelyn | February 4th, 2013 at 9:02 pm
I’ve always wondered how someone decides to become a bikini waxer.
7. Stephanie | February 5th, 2013 at 8:07 am
“How many gray hairs do you see down there?” Nice.
8. Lance | February 5th, 2013 at 8:08 am
“oh I was nostalgic for the days of 70s porn”
“Kelly Clarkson!” – (40 year old virgin movie reference)
9. Lance | February 5th, 2013 at 8:09 am
damn it, my first one was supposed to me “Oh how I wax nostalgic for 70s porn”….sorry
10. Kristin Shaw (Two Cannoli) | February 5th, 2013 at 8:21 am
Turtle Wax?!?! Oh, boy.
I always wonder how people get to be waxers too – is it a necessary stepping stone for some to get to facials or something? And would you trust someone who used to wax down there to treat your face??
11. Kristen | February 5th, 2013 at 2:04 pm
I once said (to a doctor I was seeing for the first time), “I’m ready for my close up!” She just … stared back at me. You think a pap smear is uncomfortable to begin with? Oy.
12. Kristen | February 5th, 2013 at 2:05 pm
(And, umm,I probably could’ve segued from bikini waxer to gyno a little more gracefully, or, AT ALL, but whatever. You get it. Right?)
13. Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes | February 6th, 2013 at 7:53 am
Splash pad… love it
14. When I Blink | February 6th, 2013 at 9:57 am
WAX ON, WAX OFF.
I’m afraid I may actually have said that one. And then laughed in hysterical shame as the 20-something gal with the pierced eyebrow quizzically tried to understand a pop-culture reference far older than she was.
15. julie gardner | February 6th, 2013 at 11:46 am
My dad’s a bikini waxer.
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