I was very excited to share some big news with you all today—that big news being that I’m now writing for US Weekly’s Fashion Police! You know, that section in the back where they show pictures of a few badly dressed celebrities with snarky comments about them? It’s pretty much the only way people like Mickey Rourke and Daryl Hannah get any publicity these days. Here’s my first caption in this week’s issue (that’s Paula Abdul without her head):
And I even have my picture in the back of the magazine, even though I look drunk and/or super chunky. And we all know that only one of those things is true. AND WHY AM I WEARING MY PHARMACIST’S GLASSES?
But I guess I should be happy I’m even in the position to joke about celebrity fashion considering that I’ve worn the same outfit since 1984:
And also because I consider these to be matching socks, despite my husband’s claim for the past 20 years that I’m totally wrong. But like I always say, it’s all in whatever matching criteria you decide to use. (I have another pair just like it!)
Of course I thought that with my big news I’d for sure be the Big Deal of the Family and they’d finally let me play my Manilow CD during Christmas dinner. But then my dad had to go ahead and ruin it—-by getting honored by the Congressional Medal of Honor Society. Yeah, that’s right, the Congressional Medal of Honor Society. He was named a 2013 finalist in the Citizen Before Self Award and just how am I supposed to beat that? Ain’t no Paula Abdul caption hilarious enough to get the attention of the Congressional Medal of Honor Society.
But in all seriousness, my dad is an incredibly wonderful and amazing man. He served in the National Guard for 45 years, then became a very active volunteer for disabled veterans when he retired. One of the many things he’s done (and he’s done a lot) is founding the Northern Nevada Wheelchair Program where he provides wheelchairs and ramps for any veteran or veteran’s spouse in need. Here he is with one of the vets he helped get a very needed wheelchair:
My dad’s program is completely run on donations and volunteers and he and my mom both devote a lot of time and energy to it. For that reason, I’m thrilled he’s finally getting some well deserved recognition. (Although he is very humble and has never, ever wanted any attention or awards. I think that’s the North Dakota in him. He just does these things because “it’s the right thing to do.”)
Last year, my dad was in a serious accident and needed to use a wheelchair himself, but that still didn’t slow him down because he knew there were people out there who needed help. I really couldn’t be more proud of him. He is truly one of the best and an incredible role model for my sons and their cousins. And I’m not just saying that so I get to play my Barry songs during Christmas dinner, either.
Love you, Mom & Dad. (So much that I’m not even going to say anything about your matching sweaters.)