JUST DO ALL OF THE FOLLOWING TO BE ELIGIBLE FOR MY GRAND PRIZE*!
1. Like me on Facebook.
2. Like everyone I Like on Facebook.
3. Like everyone I don’t like on Facebook, then Dislike them to hurt their feelings, then Like them again just to confuse the shit out of them.
4. Share this post on Facebook.
5. Leave a comment on Facebook telling me that you’ve shared this post on Facebook.
6. Like the comment on Facebook that tells me that you’ve shared this post on Facebook, then leave a comment on my blog telling me you Liked that comment about the comment that you Liked on Facebook and then leave another comment on my Facebook page telling me that you left a comment on my blog telling me that you left a comment on my Facebook page about Liking me on Facebook.
7. Tweet about my contest.
8. Tweet again and use the hashtag #I’llDoAnythingForFreeCrap.
9. Tweet again and use the hashtag #SeriouslyAnything
10. Tweet one more time, but this time do it in Spanish.
11. Like the Spanish tweet on Spanish Facebook. Then leave a comment on my page telling me that you Liked it, but leave the comment in English because I only got C’s in high school Spanish class and I won’t be able to understand it. Es la verdado. Yo no bueno con la Spanisho. Like that comment, too.
12. Tweet about how I’m bad at Spanish and end the tweet with “LOL” because I like people to know that that I’m “fun.”
13. Post on Facebook about how you tweeted about my lame Spanish grades and also how you used “LOL” but you didn’t use it ironically because you’re desperate to win my contest and then people will think you’re not as “fun” as I am, which is part of the contest.
14. Share this link with 20 friends.
15. Make those 20 friends share it with 30 more friends.
16. Make those 30 more friends each donate a pint of blood and then tweet about their blood type while also Liking my Facebook page and commenting on my blog that they Liked my Facebook page. Be sure they do this before they pass out from their recent blood loss.
17. Pin my contest on Pinterest.
18. Instagram my contest on Instagram.
19. Tumble my contest on Tumblr.
20. Blog my contest on Blogger.
21. Sell your soul on SoulSellr.
22. Develop an iPhone app about my contest.
23. Develop an Android app about my contest that’ll come out six months later.
24. Make a Facebook page about the contest app, then Like it, then leave a comment telling me you liked it on my Facebook page that’s about the contest. But not in Spanish. (“LOL”)
25. Draw a picture of me.
26. Draw a picture of my cat.
27. Draw a picture of me drawing a picture of my cat.
28. Post all cat drawings on your Facebook timeline, then tweet that ten times while standing on one foot.
29. Pat your head and rub your tummy.
30. Post video of you patting your head and rubbing your tummy on YouTube, then Like it on Facebook and post it to my blog and comment that you posted it on Facebook before you tweet it, but not before you Like it again with a big smile on your face that I will then Like on Facebook.
31. Kiss my ass.
*Grand prize is worth more than $9.99, but less than your integrity and reputation.