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The Marvelous Marinka

July 16th, 2012

One of my closest, funniest friends in the world is someone you may all know, the lovely Marinka who writes at Motherhood In NYC. We met through our blogs, but have become really great friends in real life. She founded The Mouthy Housewives with me, along with Kelcey and Kristine, and not a day goes by that we don’t email each other about something. (Something that usually involves the phrase: “OMG, did you see this?”)

I love my relationship with Marinka, but unfortunately, she very frequently puts me on  “Friendship Probation.” Which doesn’t have anything to do with the U.S. Justice system; it’s basically just her way of letting you know she’s pissed off about something you did. Chances are that at least 20 people reading this post have also been on her FP for one reason or another. Hey, we should form a support club! We can meet at Denny’s!

The two of us in happier times.

I’ve probably been ON Friendship Probation more than I’m off, for various reasons, including using the word “ute” instead of “uterus” when discussing lady business with her. And the time I told her I was becoming a coupon blogger and changing my name to The Krazee Koupon Krackpot. Although, in her defense, she was right to be upset. Those really aren’t good initials for a new business venture, no matter how many $10 off Domino’s Pizza coupons you have at your disposal.

Then yesterday, I was put on Friendship Probation again because I tweeted this:

I don’t know if she was upset because I told everybody her secret room rate or because she found out that I’ve also been telling people that whenever I stay with her, I have to cook her Hot Pockets three times a day and call her “Fancy Face” while I braid her hair. Who knows at this point? I just hope she doesn’t make me vacuum her entire apartment like I had to do the last time I stayed there.

Friendship Probation aside, last week things got even more contentious between us after some random person was a jerk to me for no reason. I told Marinka and some mutual friends that the rudeness was especially hurtful because I’m so used to being “universally adored.”Oh, yes, it’s true. I am VERY universally adored. (Except in South Dakota for reasons I’m not legally allowed to discuss.)

Anyway, I apparently forgot that “universally adored” is Marinka’s catchphrase because not 30 minutes later, this was emailed to me:

Yeah, that’s right. She actually sent me a PayPal invoice for $50 for using her catch phrase. I know, what the what? Of course I’ve decided that there’s no way I’m paying it. No freakin’ way, Marinka. Friends let friends use their catch phrases. Haven’t you been saying, “For the love of God” for FREE for the past five years? Huh? Not to mention my incredibly generous offer to let you print “Manilow’s Baby Mama” on t-shirts without my usual licensing fee. I mean, really, Marinka. REALLY.

So as of right now, I, Wendi Aarons, am putting Marinka No Last Name on Friendship Probation. Yeah, that’s right, Marinka.  Are you listening to me? The shoe is on the other foot now, baby. You are officially on FP. And I’m not going to talk to you ever, ever again! EVVVVER.

(But be sure to email me later, okay? I totally have some good gossip for you. OMG.)

 

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33 Comments

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  • 1. Lynn MacDonald (All Fooked Up)  |  July 16th, 2012 at 11:23 am

    wow…sounds like you guys have way more fun than I do!

  • 2. Marinka  |  July 16th, 2012 at 11:37 am

    Wait a minute, you’re putting ME on Friendship Probation?! Welcome to Friendship Death Row, baby!

  • 3. Nancy Davis Kho  |  July 16th, 2012 at 11:41 am

    Crap, I just used “Manilow’s Baby Mama” in my post for tomorrow. Am I in trouble too? I hope you two don’t shiv each other during BlogHer, it got pretty real at Erma as it was.

  • 4. Becky Rice  |  July 16th, 2012 at 11:47 am

    Is the phrase “universally loathed” still up for grabs? I need a really good subtitle for my life.

  • 5. Corporate Wife  |  July 16th, 2012 at 11:47 am

    I’m hoping this turns into an all-out Twitter war.

    By the way, where can I get a “Manilow’s Baby Mama” t-shirt?

  • 6. dusty earth mother  |  July 16th, 2012 at 12:02 pm

    I’m not really sure who I’m siding with; I’m just leaving a comment to tell you that I’m coining this phrase: “Where are my Hot Pockets, Wench?!” and I’m keeping all the T-shirt profits. Sorry.

  • 7. Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac  |  July 16th, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    I know better than to choose sides, but while we’re handing out invoices…I’m going to send one for the reprint rights of that top photo of you lovely ladies slap fighting.

  • 8. Alexandra  |  July 16th, 2012 at 12:46 pm

    OH MY GOSH.

    I knew something happened.

    I felt the blogosphere quake way over here, in my cowpoke town of 10,000.

    I could sense it.

  • 9. Alexandra  |  July 16th, 2012 at 12:47 pm

    P.S. LOVE that picture of the both of you.

  • 10. Amy  |  July 16th, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Sh*t’s getting real. BlogHer 12 will be ELECTRIC with this controversy.

  • 11. Ann  |  July 16th, 2012 at 1:53 pm

    Claiming co-custody. You’ll both hear from my guardian ad litem.

  • 12. Rachee  |  July 16th, 2012 at 2:19 pm

    One question…where is the press release?
    That is all.
    -r

  • 13. The Flying Chalupa  |  July 16th, 2012 at 3:00 pm

    Every time I use the phrase “OMFG” I think of Marinka. I have been getting away with murder with that phrase and I’m expecting a backlog of invoices at any minute.

    I do love you both though.

    And $700 is a total bargain, Wendi. Don’t push your luck.

  • 14. Jane  |  July 16th, 2012 at 3:22 pm

    Friendship Death Row….ouch!
    If I see one of you on TMZ with crazy pants, 50′s hair, Gloria Allred, I’m out!!

  • 15. Kat  |  July 16th, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    Does this mean there is a friendship spot up for grabs? I’m happy to fill that position in each of your rosters.

  • 16. kathykate  |  July 16th, 2012 at 3:33 pm

    no one has every called me universally adored. not ever ever ever ever ever. how sad.
    But UTE? for uterus? that i can work with!

  • 17. Issa  |  July 16th, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    I can’t stop laughing.

  • 18. annie  |  July 16th, 2012 at 3:49 pm

    I see a “Dead Blogger Walking” post in the near future.

  • 19. Holly  |  July 16th, 2012 at 5:16 pm

    Looking for legal advice? Don’t come to me. I LOVE the friendship you guys share.

  • 20. Marta  |  July 16th, 2012 at 6:32 pm

    I love Marinka’s concept of invoicing. I will now be drafting invoices to my best friends for a variety of services rendered. Thank you Marinka!

  • 21. tracy@sellabitmum  |  July 16th, 2012 at 6:42 pm

    Please tell me that you have matching t-shirts made for BlogHer. Please.

  • 22. the mama bird diaries  |  July 16th, 2012 at 9:37 pm

    “Marinka No Last Name” Priceless.

    Kristine and I are anxiously waiting for our individual blog posts.

  • 23. Kelly  |  July 17th, 2012 at 12:32 am

    This is BRILLIANT!

    ‘Ute’!
    $700 per night – mates rates!
    AN INVOICE!
    Dueling Probation!

    Simply hilarious.

    What next…?

  • 24. Sans is Bonkers.  |  July 17th, 2012 at 4:12 am

    Apologies to Marinka. Any PayPal invoices of the Decade submitted for copyright violin will be subject to default.
    Marinka probably won’t be able to see it anyway. . . :¬)

  • 25. Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes  |  July 17th, 2012 at 5:24 am

    Ok so this is how children of divorced parents must feel.

  • 26. Stefani  |  July 17th, 2012 at 5:27 am

    Y’all’re cute. That’s right. I said Y’all’re.

  • 27. Tracy Beckerman  |  July 17th, 2012 at 5:43 am

    You know, this is how it started between Godzilla and Mothra. They used to be besties and then Mothra ended up on Friendship Probation and then they destroyed Japan. Just saying…

  • 28. Mauigirl  |  July 17th, 2012 at 11:04 am

    Simply Brilliant. I’m afraid to ask what Friendship Death Row means. But I guess my Austin visit better be sooner rather than later. I’m just saying…FDR sounds like a place that does not allow visitors.

  • 29. Peajaye  |  July 17th, 2012 at 6:26 pm

    Wait. Did you just use Marinka’s “Friendship Probation” ™ without permission? Uh-oh.

  • 30. Mexmom  |  July 18th, 2012 at 9:56 am

    Please don’t make me choose between you two!

  • 31. Good News/Bad News&hellip  |  July 18th, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    [...] Thank goodness I had this to cheer me up. [...]

  • 32. Stacy @bklynstacy  |  July 19th, 2012 at 5:57 am

    I got put on Probation for using the term “Friendship Probation” (TM MarinkaNYC, all rights reserved etc.). So this post really hit home. If Marinka didn’t pay me to be her friend? Well, I TOTALLY would have ditched her by now.

  • 33. Safe and (Mostly) Sound&hellip  |  October 30th, 2012 at 10:13 am

    [...] for some bullshit trumped up charge like she does at least once a month. Or when she sends me a PayPal invoice for using her catchphrase. Or when she makes fun of my white noise machine. Or when I use the word “whilst” and [...]


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