Eat the last cookie.
Hide the one Pokemon card out of 10,000 that they desperately need.
Shop for boys’ clothing that makes them look like humungo dorkwads.
Change all passwords on their video games.
Delete all iCarly‘s from the DVR, even the ones that they totally haven’t even seen yet.
Cruise the grocery store for healthy food that tastes like death.
Eat the last cupcake.
Kill their pet fish then wait for them to discover the corpse.
Let the toddlers next door into the house to demolish their paper airplane collection.
Evilly plot with daddy about all the new, unfair chores we can give them.
Eat the last pretzel.
Send their teachers emails asking them to be extra mean and surly.
Have coffee with all the moms of the cute girls in the neighborhood and tell them about the times they puked on Mickey Mouse and wet their pants at SeaWorld.
Sign them up for horrible things like Art Day Camp instead of Stunt Man Day Camp.
Go in their rooms and rearrange their stuffed animals in a completely stupidhead way.
Eat the last cheese stick.