Last week I noticed that our household was down to its last check, so I quickly went online to order new ones from my bank. The first choice you have to make in this process is whether or not you want plain checks or the checks with Tweety Bird or NASCAR pictures on them. I, of course, opted for the plain ones because the last thing I want to do is pay extra to entertain some poor accounts receivable schlub down at the electric company. I’m just not that nice.
After choosing the plain checks, the next design choice was whether or not you want to put a fun or inspirational saying on your checks. I’d never heard of this before, so I spent a few minutes clicking on some of the options and rolling my eyes at how stupid they were. I mean, what kind of nimrod puts a saying on their checks? Does everything need to be customized? Are we, as a society, that narcissistic? I couldn’t believe that anyone would actually do this.
Cut to yesterday when our new checks arrived and my husband immediately pulled them out of the box because he had to write one out to an auto body shop and another one out to the IRS.
About ten seconds after he started writing, his pen suddenly came to a dead halt. Because this is what he saw right above the signature line:
Yes, apparently when I was clicking on all of the stupid sayings, I actually selected one. And now “LIVIN’ LARGE AND TAKIN’ CHARGE” is on all of our personal checks. All 250 of our personal checks. Which, I guess, answers the question I asked earlier about what kind of nimrod puts a saying on their checks. Now everyone who gets a payment from us is going to wonder why we suddenly think we’re Hank Williams Jr.
But maybe the poor schlub down at the electric company will enjoy them. Because my husband—well, not so much.
Or at least that’s what I think he’d say if he were talking to me.