Titles of Romantic Comedies If They Were Set In Austin During The Summer, Vol. II

You’ve Got Mail, You Sweaty Bastard

How To Lose A Guy and Your Will To Live In 10 Days

While You Were Sleeping Your Landscaping Died

(500) Days of Summer and (0) Freaking Days of Winter

Breakfast at Tiffany’s Because That Bitch Tiffany Has A/C

Bridget Jones’ Diary Is Full of Angry Rants About the Heat

And Now Bridget Jones Is On An FBI Watch List

Legally Blonde, Illegally Stealing Freon From Home Depot

┬áSay Anything…About My Pit Stains And I’ll Punch Your Junk

Four Weddings and A Heat Stroke

Barefoot in the Park with 3rd Degree Burns

10 Things I Hate About You, You Stupid Meteorologist

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Who Don’t Have Farmer Tans

Mama Mia! Imma A Gonna Shoot Someone!

Must Love Dogs (Because My Ass is Moving to Alaska)

Love Actually, Organ Failure Probably



31 comments on this post.
  1. Alison@Mama Wants This:

    Haha, you’re brilliant!

  2. christy:

    You are so funny it’s sick! Love these. Can’t wait to see you next week! Eek!

  3. Jonathan Mugan:

    Yep, that’s about dead on. Apocalypse Now would be unchanged.

  4. Jonathan Mugan:

    Although I guess calling Apocalypse Now a romantic comedy is a bit of a stretch.

  5. Kizz:

    I fucking hate Barefoot in the Park. Your title should be the original.

  6. Becky:

    I’m pretty sure the only one you forgot is You Have to Ask What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? It’s the Fucking Heat, You Moron.

    Have fun at BlogHer!

  7. Sophie:

    Too hot for even a half-assed normal comment. Sorry.

  8. Elise:

    God love you for living in that godforsaken heat for so long. You deserve a medal or something.

    PS- See you at BlogHer; or not because there are only going to be 1million other hers & hims there. And I’m rootin’ for you big time in the Voices of the Year thingy; it might make me actually attend it instead of passing out in the halls like last year. But who knows… anything can happen, right?!

  9. Wendi:

    Thanks, Elise. Just to clarify, my voice of the year is basically an honorable mention, so I won’t be reading it. I did get to read my Diet Coke piece at BlogHer 2 years ago, so it’s great & unexpected to be included again.

  10. Kristen:

    Will it be too weird if I say that one of the things I’m super excited for at BlogHer is meeting you? I mean, I’m assuming I’ll meet you and you won’t, like, snub me. Oh god, you’re planning to snub me, aren’t you?

    (Congrats on being selected for Voices of the Year!)

  11. By Word of Mouth Musings:

    Let me buy you a cocktail out in SD, on the rocks since its probably been so bloody long since you have had ice in a drink!

  12. ellemck1:

    Hahaha, my favorite one is probably 10 Things I Hate About You, You Stupid Meteorologist.

  13. sparkling74:

    I love the Mama Mia one!

    Ever notice that no matter where we live, we hate the weather and the weather men???

  14. Stasha:

    Alaska bound, via San Diego. Makes sense.

  15. dusty earth mother:

    Awesome! Hilarious! Loved every single one. But particularly “Love Actually. Organ Failure Probably”, because you can make even organ failure funny.

  16. the mama bird diaries:


  17. Patty:

    It should be relatively temperate in San Diego.

  18. Nancy Davis Kho:


  19. Plano Mom:

    Have fun. Just got back from Los Angeles. The HIGH every day was 80 degrees. Enjoy.

  20. Former Austinite:

    One of the main deciding factors of leaving Texas was the endless days of 100+ weather. That was more important than a job offer or anything else for that matter! After 39 years of Texas summers that last year I looked at my husband, after almost having heat stoke while getting the mail, and told him I can’t do this anymore. I reached my breaking point. While you are in San Diego go sit by the pool and harass a couple of pool boys! Enjoy your break from the heat ’cause you know August is coming!

  21. The Flying Chalupa:

    Your hatred of summer remains eternally hilarious.

    Congrats again on BlogHer – hope to see (stalk) you there!

  22. Susan in the Boonies:

    So….is it hot enough for ya?


  23. Kathykate:

    Enjoy San Diego. And there’s no way you’re moving to Alas-ska. I’m sure there’s not enough room in that big state for you and Ms. Palin!

  24. Fragrant Liar:

    Have fun in San Diego. Wish I was going this year, but alas, I’m staying here in Seeringdipity.

    P.S. Hug Jessica Bern for me.

  25. Leigh Ann:

    I think my landscaping died when I blinked. But probably just when my husband refused to waste water on it.

  26. Missy @ Wonder, Friend:


    Mark won’t let me watch the news, because he worries about my misplaced rage at Jim Spencer. He keeps telling me that Jim doesn’t make the weather, he only reports it. I’m not so sure…

  27. Anna ~ Random Handprints:

    have fun at blogher, and i bet you will be super-happy about the SanD weather forecast!

  28. Invader_Stu:

    I’m suddenly more happy that I live in a country were it rains all summer.

  29. Suniverse:

    Hooray for you and your VOICE OF THE YEAR!!

    Love this post.

  30. Dave:

    I lived inn that Gawd-awful heat for far too long. Then I moved to the tropics! :) At least where I live now, we only have 12 hour days, and homes are built to breath, not like those hermetically sealed boxed they call houses in Austin.

  31. Helen:

    Dying. Absolutely dying!

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