doingword.com

(Your Ad Here)

April 20th, 2011

Someone recently told me that a good way to make money on your blog is by courting advertisers via sneaked mentions of them in your posts. To a purist like myself, this is completely unbelievable. After all, I’m a writer with standards, not a shill for The Man. Not a stupid slogan monkey. All you have in this life is your integrity, and I fully intend to keep mine.

That’s why when I was surfing the net on my (truly amazing and futuristic) iPad™ from Apple© and came across a blog that mentioned a product no less than five times, I was appalled. Five freakin’ times? I tell you, I almost fell out of my Office Max® chair and choked on my curiously strong Altoid™ mint when I saw that. Thank God I had a bottle of refreshing Smartwater® to wash it down or I probably would have died. And then who would have unloaded my incredibly efficient Kenmore™ dishwasher? My friends from MerryMaids™? My oh-my-God-is-there-anything-it-can’t-do!? Roomba®? It was a scary, scary moment.

Of course, I’m all for making money on my blog—as evidenced by the $2.50 I brought in last year—but there is just no way I’d ever assault my readers with subtle product placement. And I mean that from the bottom of my Nike™ Mercurial Vapor Superfly III FG Men’s Soccer Cleats #4 to the top of my Miss Clairol Nice ‘n Easy Root Touch-Up© highlights! You will never, ever see unwanted advertising here, my friends. I swear that on the stack of well-priced, top quality bibles I just conveniently and easily purchased at ChristianBooks.com. (“Good God, Will You Look at These Low Prices?”)

Believe me, I know the reason all three of my readers keep coming back week after week is because I’m honest with them. I never pretend that I’m a global superstar like Def Jam recording artist Rihanna whose new album is available for immediate download on iTunes© starting Thursday.  Nor do I ever act like I’m too big for my Banana Republic Spring Collection® britches. I’m simply myself in a very SimpleGreen All-Purpose Cleaner© kind of way. Yes, I’m both safe and effective on multi-surfaces and leave no lasting residue. And that’s the reason I can hold my head up high.

So to those of you who tell me I need to sell out or that I should build my brand, I say stuff it like a stuffed crust pizza from Pizza Hut™, you jackasses. Because I know who I am, I know where I’m going and I know just how I’m going to get there.

Thanks to Expedia.com, of course.

________________


Entry Filed under: Uncategorized

61 Comments

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  • 1. Marinka  |  April 20th, 2011 at 10:37 am

    L(aughing Cow wedge)OL!

  • 2. Stasha Becker  |  April 20th, 2011 at 10:45 am

    You are honest like HonestKids®. I admire that. Wishing you Appley ever after.

  • 3. Helen Page  |  April 20th, 2011 at 10:48 am

    Couldn’t have said it better myself even if I had posted it on my own blog (dailywritingcoach.blogspot.com) on my trusted Macbook ® with my cup of Starbucks® House Blend at my side, which is no longer bothering me thanks to daily doses of Advil® and workouts at 24 Hour Fitness ™.

  • 4. Yakini  |  April 20th, 2011 at 10:48 am

    Hysterical!!!

  • 5. dusty earth mother  |  April 20th, 2011 at 10:54 am

    Brilliant, Wendi, absolutely Brilliant® Waterproof Velvet Suede Mid-Calf Boot with Tassels

  • 6. Jen  |  April 20th, 2011 at 10:56 am

    You are so effing brilliant.

  • 7. OHmommy  |  April 20th, 2011 at 10:56 am

    Awesome.

  • 8. gigi  |  April 20th, 2011 at 10:57 am

    I’m so glad that I am reading this from Subway while I tweet on my iPhone.

    I was so busy considering Smart Lipo that I almost missed your post.

    It’s refreshing to see that you’re not a hard sell blogger. Have you seen those annoying Empire Carpet commercials? get a clue.

    I loved this post so much, in fact, that I’m headed next door to the UPS Store to send you a little gift, which includes a McDonald’s Arch Card, a pair of Havaianas flip-flops, a neck pillow from Bed Bath and Beyond and business cards from Vista Print that read: I’m A Sellout.

    Love,
    Gigi

    Disclosure: this comment was sponsored by the brands mentioned above. I received mainly crappy stuff in exchange for my comments, but all opinions are entirely my own.

  • 9. Jessica  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:01 am

    Thank you!! Love this. LOVE.

  • 10. Loukia  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:03 am

    This was brilliant!

  • 11. The Other Wendi  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:03 am

    I’ve always imagined that if I ever got a tattoo, it would be a billboard with “Your Name Here”.

  • 12. Holly  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:04 am

    I just choked on my Starbucks Skinny Vanilla Latte (2 splendas!) spewing it all over my Old Navy sundress (30% off!) ruining my pedi with Opi nail polish reading this…I truly can’t stand sellouts…

  • 13. Ashley, the Accidental Olympian  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:04 am

    DYING.

    Of laughter that is.

  • 14. Kizz  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:11 am

    I love you. That is all.

    No wait, there’s more. I’m going to laugh really hard (sorry) when you spend the next year fending off product placement requests (and soul saving ones) from ChristianBooks.com.

  • 15. Becky  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:25 am

    This is definitely a gem – that’s more than just SNICKERS you are hearing from me. I think you should make $100 GRAND for product placements. It would make for a nice PAYDAY and would be a real LIFESAVER when it comes to saving up for the next Fanilow Box Set release.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to MR. GOODBAR — aka my husband, with an inflated sense of his JUNIOR MINTS.

  • 16. Suniverse  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:33 am

    Oh, now I get it.

    I was doing it wrong.

    Thanks, advertising guru! I’m sure to hit the top of my Amway pyramid by following your rules to keeping it real. Real clean.

  • 17. tracy@sellabitmum  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:38 am

    I can see the millions coming in now. I am writing this drinking my Starbucks coffee while petting my Humane Society mutt cat, wearing my Banana Republic sweater and Target knock-off yoga pants, and socks from Wal-Mart(I think or maybe Kohls..OMG NOT Kohls).

    xoxo
    Tracy
    Disclosure: I was not paid to mention or wear, drink, or pet any of these products. I just love them and all opinions are exclusively mine. Also, I will pick one winner at midnight for my left used sock from Wal-mart(or Kohls).

  • 18. The Mommy Therapy  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:57 am

    You have to have standards after all. Thanks for standing up for what you believe in! Consumerism, right?

  • 19. Elise  |  April 20th, 2011 at 11:59 am

    Not sure if you intended this but perhaps Jenny and you can package the Wil Wheaton collating papers pic with this post and mass market it to bloggers everywhere. Oh the possibilities…

  • 20. MamaRobinJ  |  April 20th, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    I can’t even try to be funny in response. I’m laughing too hard.

    Golden!

  • 21. Jeanne  |  April 20th, 2011 at 12:31 pm

    You ended your story with a Happy Period and didn’t even take the opportunity to include your own work as one of your plugs? It could have been a two-fer.

  • 22. Truthful Mommy  |  April 20th, 2011 at 12:40 pm

    I pissed my freshly Tide laundered britches and now I will have to sport a Depend.You are hilarious and I am pretty sure that the Starbucks coffee that I just spat onto my Mac computer is a testament to that.

  • 23. Liz @ PeaceLoveGuac  |  April 20th, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    You are “both safe and effective on multi-surfaces?”

    That’s what he said!

  • 24. Muffintopmommy  |  April 20th, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    Rooooxanne, you don’t have to put on your red light! You don’t have to sell your bloggy to the night!

    I don’t want to get all braggy but I was *cough* offered the princely sum of $5 USD to put a link on my blog just yesterday. I’m mulling it over. I think I might hold out for like $5.50.

  • 25. Erin@MommyontheSpot  |  April 20th, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    That. is. awesome!!

  • 26. Chantal  |  April 20th, 2011 at 1:31 pm

    LOVE it!

  • 27. Anna  |  April 20th, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    oh this is funny. but sadly, true too.

  • 28. annie  |  April 20th, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    I want to write like you when i grow up. too bad i’m so much older than you are.

  • 29. Cindi @ Moomettes Magnificents  |  April 20th, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    Good Grief this is awesome! I’m going to book a flight on Southwest Airlines and park my Chevy Malibu in one of those Park & Fly lots; and check my LL Bean luggage (even if I have to pay per extra bag) and fly out to Texas to see personally congratulate you on this terrific post! Just hope there’s some rooms left at the Crowne Plaza!

  • 30. deborah l quinn  |  April 20th, 2011 at 10:19 pm

    I just maxed out my credit card, thanks. Because if a product is mentioned online it must be good, right? Plus all those things had that nifty little “tm” symbol so that’s a mark of a really really good product. I’m so glad to see that in this time of shameless shilling, you’re a writer who really holds the line on what will & will not appear in her blog.

  • 31. Diane  |  April 21st, 2011 at 5:44 am

    Listen to Mother Wendi on that last one – go get your ticket!

  • 32. Roxanna (Miguelina)  |  April 21st, 2011 at 6:35 am

    I love you. I knew I should let you get on that Southwest Airlines (c) flight.

  • 33. Cheryl  |  April 21st, 2011 at 6:37 am

    Damn* near spewed my Heart Truth Program® Diet Coke® all over my brand new Dell Inspiron™ with Intel® Core™ processor.

    *Damn is licensed for use by GOD.com. Any use of this without express written permission of GOD.com will result in banishment to Hell®.

  • 34. Lela Davidson  |  April 21st, 2011 at 7:20 am

    Sorry, can’t play now – late for a few Passion Parties.

  • 35. IzzyMom  |  April 21st, 2011 at 7:38 am

    HA…this post is awesome, as are the comments. Y’all funny!

  • 36. Tonya  |  April 21st, 2011 at 7:56 am

    It’s so strange I’m now compelled to go and buy a Roomba, Kenmore dishwasher, and Miss Clairol Nice ‘n Easy Root Touch-Up…and also call 1-900-Hot-GIRL (I think that last one was implied in your post, no?)

  • 37. Krabies  |  April 21st, 2011 at 8:17 am

    awesome!

  • 38. Tammy  |  April 21st, 2011 at 8:27 am

    I’m so glad I read your column before I start my day…you make me laugh and get into a better mood….although hubby thinks I’m a little crazy when I start laughing out loud…wanted to actually know if I’d been eating the Laughing Cow Dairy products…what an insult! I told him that I only read your columns after I’ve chugged a Mayfield Chug Chocolate Milk. Love the column Wendi!

  • 39. susie@newdaynewlesson  |  April 21st, 2011 at 8:27 am

    LOL-really do wish that some advertisers realize what gold they have in your blog. Would not begrudge you advertising. You really should have used links though. Now we have to search all those products by hand. Tut tut.

  • 40. Steph  |  April 21st, 2011 at 8:33 am

    at least you didn’t choke on Jared’s $5 . . . oh never mind.

  • 41. Nancy Davis Kho  |  April 21st, 2011 at 8:50 am

    Thank god you decided to eschew product placements in favor of getting that HankyPanky® tattoo on your forehead. That’s WAY classier.

  • 42. laffin so hard  |  April 21st, 2011 at 10:12 am

    $2.50?

    Tell me how you do it! When is your tell-all book on “Blogging for Financial Freedom” manifesto coming out! I need to pre-order.

  • 43. Alexandra  |  April 21st, 2011 at 10:22 am

    I cant ell you this: someone told me this in the beginning, and I believed them.

    I have a post on “fun summer toys for boys!!!!” and “!!!”

    It is littered with UglyDoll this and Uglydoll that

    No one came knocking at the door.

  • 44. Q  |  April 21st, 2011 at 10:52 am

    Um, I think you forgot to give props to the makers of the bible. Might be one advertiser you don’t want to screw ;)

  • 45. Cathy  |  April 21st, 2011 at 10:56 am

    that was truly hilarious. :)

  • 46. Invader_Stu  |  April 21st, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    Good for you…

    Hu, that’s strange. Why did I just buy a load of stuff from Amazon while reading this. Odd.

  • 47. Erin I'm Gonna Kill Him  |  April 21st, 2011 at 3:06 pm

    How dare you wear Banana Republic britches when you pledged brand loyalty to Talbots.

    I’m always reminding myself to check your blog by tackling it Head On (apply directly to the forehead).

  • 48. the mama bird diaries  |  April 21st, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    You could have at least mentioned New Balance instead of Nike. I mean, isn’t that what you have on your feet right now?!

  • 49. Holly  |  April 21st, 2011 at 8:57 pm

    Okay, you’ve clearly got more than 3 raders, but well you should.

  • 50. Jan  |  April 24th, 2011 at 9:16 am

    Ultra-super clever!! You rock! :)

  • 51. Andi  |  April 24th, 2011 at 7:13 pm

    Love it!

  • 52. Tawanda Bee  |  April 24th, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    The laughing is making it hard for me to finish eating all these chocolate eggs!

  • 53. Amy  |  April 26th, 2011 at 8:17 am

    Hooray! An anthem for bloggers everywhere.

  • 54. What We’re Reading &hellip  |  April 26th, 2011 at 11:34 pm

    [...] DISCREETLY BREASTFEEDING!Wendi Aarons looks at the lighter side of pimping out for advertisers: (Your Ad Here)MomComm cleans up the ‘Net in Comment Vomit: The Facebook Fan Page EditionSnarky in the [...]

  • 55. Holly  |  April 27th, 2011 at 9:14 am

    Ugh, I’m totally rolling my L’Oreal-enhanced eyelids while I take a sip from my Starbucks!

  • 56. SansPhilosopher.  |  April 30th, 2011 at 8:19 pm

    We all have our price. Sometimes it’s a Restaurant, sometimes it’s a Singer.
    ‘O Sole Mio.

    But then, I am a cynic and curmudgeon.

  • 57. Kristin  |  May 5th, 2011 at 5:53 am

    Too funny.

    I’ve given up on purity since Heroes (may it rest in peace) did the not-so-subtle placement of the Nissan Rogue. “Dad!? Really? I can have the ROGUE? Thank you, Dad! I love you!”

  • 58. Questions, money and badm&hellip  |  June 6th, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    [...] Wendy Aaron’s post about product placement. [...]

  • 59. tinagleisner  |  July 16th, 2011 at 6:13 am

    Can’t recall ever laughing so hard over something online. Love how you started out sane … and then your story was your writing.

    I also learned from you, that you can make analogies between people & things which I’ve not learned how to do …

  • 60. Dusty on NBC&hellip  |  October 5th, 2012 at 10:04 am

    [...] not all gems" is patently untrue, particularly if you read her brilliant "Your Ad Here" or pretty much any of her Mouthy Housewives advice. So come visit me at Wendi Aarons today and find [...]

  • 61. Amy  |  November 29th, 2012 at 12:11 pm

    I can’t wait to make enough money from advertising to buy myself half a coffee. You’re so lucky!

    I love pretty much everything you write, but this is a particular favorite.


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