One of my biggest regrets as a mother and writer is that I didn’t start my blog until my kids were already well out of diapers. Quite honestly, it makes me truly sad to think of all the moments I could have captured with words and pictures and real, raw emotion if I’d only had the wherewithal to become a mommy blogger way back then.
First smiles, first steps, first words and, perhaps most cherished of all, my babies sleeping in my arms—those moments are but memories stored in my head and not in a digital scrapbook that I can lovingly share with my children when they’re old enough to appreciate the sweetness of those days. I sincerely wish I had done a better job of preserving their babyhoods.
That’s why I thought it might be really meaningful to my family if I tried to return to that glorious newborn baby time, just for one day. I know I can never recapture how special those moments were, but I do hope you’ll appreciate my attempt to write some posts like I imagine I would have way back then:
October 7, 2001
SAM IS THREE DAYS OLD!
Hi, everyone! I can’t believe I have a baby son! He’s soooooo cute, but I’m so fuc fucsh fuc
damn tired and………………j
Whoops Sorry! Head hit keyboard and
AKSDJD”ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ 🙂 🙂 🙂 //////////////////////
Here’s an adorable picture I took of Sam wearing his cutest little baby pajamas (I think he looks like me!):
October 14, 20000001
SAM IS TEN DAYS OLD!
Hi, everyone! Quick question: DO BABIES EVER SLEEP OR IS MINE A rosemary baby DEMON?!?!?! DO HIS EYES EVER SHUT!?!?
OMG, I can’t believe I said that about my baby!
I DIDN’T MEAN IT, SAM!
P.S. Sam is sooooo cute! I know everybody says their baby is the cutest baby, but MY BABY REALLY IS THE C UTEST BABY! way more so than that weird hairy baby down the street. Seriously, that furry little thing’s part dachshund. I think his dad’s either Rin Tin Tin or a talking possum.
Here’s a picture I just took of Sam sleeping in his crib!
OCT 17, 18?
SAM IS 16 DAYS OLD!
I wish everyone would Leave me alone. I’m NOTt sad. I just LOVE MY BABY SO MUCH!!! THAT’S WHY I’M CRYING AND SMELL LIKE EXPIRED DAIRY PRODUCTS AND HEMORRHOID CREAM AND WITCH HAZEL PADS! (Side note: My boobs are the size of Danny Devito’s head. I am having nightmares about TAXI. I am waking up screaming for Reverend Jim. If you are reading this and you a a doctor, please call me without hesitation.)
P.S. Neeed sleeeep
PPS Neeed more sleep
OCTOBER OR NOVEMBER WHO THE FUCK KNOWS
SAM IS 20 DAYS OLD!
Hi, everyone! i’m really really really really really really exhausteed. Sam is right here on my lap and, oh great. He’s pooping again. That’s a SHOCKER. This kid goes through diapers like he’s a frickin Pampers stockholder. WHERE IS ALL THE POOP COMING FROM? IS HE IMPORTING IT FROM ANOTHER COUNTRY? Also, I think I might light the Diaper GEnie on fire tonight just to have something to distract me from what my stomach looks like after giving birth.
BUT SAM IS SO CUTE AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!
Check out this totally sweet picture of Sam with his Daddy!
ISN’T THAT SO CUTE!? I think I might frame it and …Oops, time to take Danny Devito out and do some nursing. Please leave a c omment & subscribe to my blog!
Maybe it’s better that those memories are just in my head after all.