It’s a special day here at Wendi Aarons Enterprises because I’m doing something on my blog I’ve never done before. However, before the big reveal, I’m going to make you guess what it is first.
Will my blog, for the first time ever:
1. Make sense
2. Not offend a homeschooler in Waco
3. Be funny on purpose
4. Get more traffic than Men Who Look Like Kenny Rogers.com
5. None of the above
If you chose #5, you’re right! Because today I’m doing my first ever Super Holiday Giveaway. And this isn’t your usual yoga pants/cookware/Precious Moments figurine type of giveaway either, people. Nope.
My giveaway’s full of shit.
As you hopefully already know, the truly wonderful organization OXFAM AMERICA has been making the planet a better place for many, many years now. Together with individuals and local groups around the world, they save lives, help people overcome poverty, and fight for social justice. And right now, they’re debuting their new Holiday Collection that’s full of the season’s hottest gifts. (You can even watch some very, very funny videos about it that star the possibly insane fashion designer The Hildalgo right here.)
Of course, Oxfam’s version of the season’s hottest gifts isn’t the usual junk that you can get at the local strip mall. No, Oxfam gives you the opportunity to be a little more creative and charitable with your holiday spending. Meaning, instead of shelling out $75 to give your sister yet another fugly sweater from Old Navy, you can give a needy villager a life-changing gift in her name. Like this one:
Or this one:
Pretty amazing, no? (And I totally want to know what kind of shampoo that alpaca uses. He’s like a 4-legged Breck girl with an overbite.)
Which brings us to my Super Holiday Giveaway!
Everyone who leaves a comment on this post will be entered into a random drawing to win a big pile of:
Yep. M-A-N-U-R-E, baby. Fifty whole dollars worth of crappy goodness right there. I now have actual proof that my blog’s full of shit.
If you’re the lucky winner, you can either donate la manure to a farmer on your behalf or on behalf of a loved one. (And if you don’t think that’s remarkable, just imagine the look on your mother-in-law’s face when she opens the envelope and sees a big pile of crap with her name on it. Zing!)
To enter, just leave a short, simple comment telling me the shittiest gift you’ve ever received. (For example, mine would be the XXXL thong underwear I got from my office Secret Santa one year.) The winner will be announced next Sunday, 12/5. And if you could spread the word about this contest, I’d really appreciate it.
My sincere thanks to all of you for taking the time to read about this great cause.
I hope I didn’t lay it on too thick.