Wendi Aarons is completely unqualified to hold any job that requires leaving the house and wearing big people clothes.
Wendi Aarons has received campaign contributions from known PTO bake sale embezzlers.
Wendi Aarons thinks the word “deficit” is pronounced “dee-fish-uht.”
Wendi Aarons is not a witch, but comes pretty close to acting like one at least once a month.
Wendi Aarons lied about winning the Purple Heart in WWII and probably didn’t actually kill Hitler with her “mad Tae Bo skillz.”
Wendi Aarons plans on naming Charlie Sheen the “Ambassador of Bad Ass” if elected.
Wendi Aarons wears red suits and glasses because she thinks they make her look smart, but they really just make her look like she’s a wanker with a Talbot’s charge card.
Wendi Aarons thinks the Dept. of Education should be abolished and replaced by the Dept. of “Street Smarts.”
Wendi Aarons thinks the Dept. of Justice should be also be abolished and replaced by the Dept. of Walker, Texas Ranger.
Wendi Aarons thinks she thinks a little too often about Chuck Norris.
Wendi Aarons is so fiscally irresponsible that she once paid a male stripper 10 bucks to put his clothes back on.
Wendi Aarons refuses to post her birth certificate on the internet because then everyone will know she hasn’t actually been 23-years-old for the past 20 years.
Wendi Aarons is such a secret Muslim that she herself doesn’t even know she’s a secret Muslim, so don’t tell her she’s a secret Muslim because it’s a secret.
Wendi Aarons is a card carrying member of known radical group The Barry Manilow International Fan Club (BMIFC) and should therefore be considered a threat to our national security.
Wendi Aarons knows where Osama Bin Laden’s hiding, but won’t tell anyone until the FBI makes Chilis start offering free drink refills again.
Wendi Aarons isn’t even sure what office she’s running for, exactly, but she really hopes it comes with free Wi-Fi, a Foosball table and a wine budget.
Wendi Aarons’ only campaign promise is that she’ll get mani/pedis once a week on the taxpayer’s dime.
For the love of God, people, DO NOT vote for Wendi Aarons.
This has been a paid political ad by the Committee to Not Elect Wendi Aarons.
(And here’s why you shouldn’t have voted for me in 2008. You didn’t, did you?)