Guy #1: And that’s precisely why we have to ship the multiple convoluted units to the Asian markets!
Guy #2: Right! I agree completely! See me nodding my head? A—-greed!
Guy #1: And another thing: we must vertically optimize our dissimulator or the integrated merchandisers will not process the defibrillator! That’s what happened to Intel or Datacrap or maybe I’m just making shit up as I go along because I LOVE THE SOUND OF MY OWN VOICE! LOL!
Guy #2: You are so right!
Guy #1: Beta servers must move within the next five years or data’s dead!I’m pounding my fist because I believe in this bullshit so strongly! Oh, my God—I FEEL SO ALIVE!
Guy #2: I like what you said so much that I’m now furiously typing it on my laptop! I’m hitting the keys really hard so everyone hears it and thinks I’m hot shit! TAP TAP TAP!
Guy #1: Lately my core has been telling me that we must put our best sales reps on the technology forefront of targeted accounts and something something about Silicon Valley and either microchips or monkeys. Now I’m going to take off my glasses and polish them! I’M SO SMART!
Guy #2: Agreed! Also, I like your polo shirt!
Guy #1: I like your polo shirt, too! And your Dockers!
Guy #2: Thanks! I got the pleats just right this morning!
Guy #1 & 2: Dockers rule!
Guy #1: Pssst….do you see that weird aging blonde woman staring at us? The one who needs a pedicure and a glycolic peel or two?
Guy #2: Yeah, I think she wants us. She’s obviously way into hot high tech guys who clip their phones to their belt and smell like Drakkar Noir and printer ink.
Guy #1: Well, bro, you can have her because I don’t want her one bit. She looks like she has obviously no idea what search engine Googletization is. And I bet she thinks she’s cooler than us. (Snort!) She probably doesn’t even have a Best Buy card. LOSER!
Guy #2: LOSER! But no thanks. I don’t want her either. She looks like a pain in the ass.
Guy #1 & #2: Hahahahaha! Let’s high five each other like we’re sports guys!
Guy #1: Oh, look—she’s leaving! She got no work done at all because we acted so loud and important today at the coffee house! Look at all of the wrinkles between her eyes as she scowls at us! WRINKLE LADY! I hope your hard drive gets a virus that makes it defrag itself or something really bad like that so you can’t watch YouTube videos about kangaroo nut punches. Whoo-hoo!
Guy #2: Whoo-hoo! WE RULE!
Guy #1: WE RULE! Wait, why is she writing “DOCKERS CAN SUCK IT” on the window in lipstick?
Guy #2: What the hell? Oh, I’m so going to put this on a Linus message board. That’ll show her she can’t mess with us and our awesomeness. TAP TAP TAP!
Note: I do not have any personal bias against all guys who wear Dockers or clip their cell phones to their belts. Just these two idiots.