Let’s find out with this Fun Summer Quiz!
1. The thought of my children being on summer vacation for 3 months fills me with:
a) Happiness
b) Dread
c) A fairly severe intestinal blockage due to the six pounds of organic cheese curls I inhaled in a nervous panic at the kindergarten’s Last Day of School party.
2. To keep my kids busy this summer, I’ve already signed them up for:
a) Day camp
b) Sleep away camp
c) Four weeks of intense basic training with “Patri-tots!”, the early education underground militia group that lives in the forest behind my subdivision.
3. All summer long, the neighborhood kids are welcome to hang out in my:
a) Backyard
b) Swimming pool
c) Basement sweatshop where they can earn upwards of 10 cents for each fake Louis Vuitton purse they help me assemble and sell to the suckers in the PTO.
4. After months of hard work, my summer body is now ready for:
a) A bikini
b) A skirtini
c) The Dumbo mascot costume my ex-con cousin stole from Disneyland in 1988.
5. To get my winter legs prepared for shorts season, I always rely upon:
a) A razor
b) A self-tanner
c) A gasoline-powered weed whacker with 10 adjustable settings and a special blade specifically designed for “thigh dreadlocks.”
6. This year, my family hopes to vacation:
a) At the beach
b) In the mountains
c) Without anybody crying and locking herself in the Chattanooga Waffle House ladies room until all of her totally ungrateful kids finally agree to make her dreams come true and take her to Dollywood for the day.
7. When the temperature gets too hot, I plan on cooling myself off by:
a) Cranking the AC
b) Drinking vast quantities of lemonade
c) Visualizing myself giving Larry King and Michelle “Bombshell” McGee a sensuous couples massage, then watching them lick tiramisu off each other’s fingers.
8. The part of July 4th I look forward to most is:
a) The yummy hot dogs and hamburgers
b) The semi-legal fireworks
c) The fact that this is the day my backyard neighbors suddenly declare their independence from all decorum, common sense and the deed restrictions that prohibit 12 hours of Def Lepard-themed karaoke and greased pig chasing.
9. To make a summer dinner party successful, it’s important to serve:
a) Fresh, seasonal fruit
b) Meat grilled to perfection
c) Twenty jugs of cheap wine poured into a kiddie pool, with a special prize going to whomever can drink the most via a pool noodle and a Dora the Explorer toddler snorkel.
10. Finally, if all goes well, I really think 2010 will become known as The Summer of:
a) Love
b) Peace
c) Bieber
If you scored mostly “A’s,” you’re VERY ready for summer!
If you scored mostly “B’s,” you’re SORT OF ready for summer!
If you scored mostly “C’s,” well, you’re probably me. Sorry about that. (Wear sunscreen.)
ROFL!! I love this!! 🙂 My daughter goes to the grandparents’ most of the summer, so I’m ready for a bit of FREEDOM! Well, until week two when I horribly miss her again. 😉
ZOMG 2c is killer funny. 7c is vomit-inducing more than “cooling” so yeah, thanks for that right at lunchtime Wendi.
Extra funny points for 9c (HA) and for the graphic at the top.
I’m SO ready for summer!
Classic.
The summer of Bieber. God save us all…
Hoo boy, I’m a solid C. Bring on the kiddie pool, baybee!
You had me at “thigh dreadlocks.”
I shaved my legs for the first time this season last night. It looked like Bigfoot had used the tub.
Oh, God, the Bieber is coming to get us.
Who is this Bieber kid and why don’t I care?
And what’s with the adolescent Donald Trump combover?
Hahaha, Patri-tots. Love it.
By the way, I think there should be another option in the answers.
You can use the same one for each question: D. I don’t have kids! Nyah, nyah!
🙂
This summer I will be sitting on the couch listening to my youngest blast his guitar and sing to his music, my middle child will either be here or at a friends’ house, either way arguing with me about whether he’s a homeless hobo or not, and my oldest will be blasting her music, either outside or on the computer and I’ll be on Thorzine so I won’t have to really pay attention to any of it! I would be looking forward to school next year, but my youngest graduates on the 28th, so I might have to have Thorzine sitting beside me all the time now!
I’m a complete and very proud 100% “C”. In more ways than one, according to some of the haters in the PTA.
Can I come to your summer dinner party? Or 4th or July to gawk at your neighbors. Either one.
You made a scene in a Waffle House? Over Dollywood? Now I know you’re insane. That’s only allowed at the IHOP.
I’ll take one of those sweat shop Louis Vuitton purses please. Preferably without sweat.
Wouldn’t 7c get you ready for the bikini if you did it once a week?
I like Bieber better than most of the guy singers around at the current time (well, he’s a pre-guy, but the principle stands). When he starts singing about bootie jiggles, smacking ass, and fast food then I’ll hate him just as much as the rest.
I kinda wish the Eeny meeny meiney mo song had an “eeny meeny meiney mo, she’s a skanky ho” line in it.
I so love this. And I’m such a C.
Is there a Michgian chapter of patri-tots?
I, too, need a weed whacker. Sigh. Maybe my reward will be the kiddie pool filed with wine. thanks for the great idea!
5c is the subjective answer here — at least until I find the spa gift card given me by my sister and can haul myself in for an industrial-strength waxing.
As for what to do with the child over the summer, fortunately my daughter is 33 and employed and can’t take time off this summer for anything but a brief jaunt to Cambria. Heh heh heh. Outplay, Outwit, Outlast — there is justice. The hair may be gray; the joints may be creaking; the twitch has become permanent, but by gum, I don’t have to take her to tennis/swimming/play groups anymore!
Dear God in Heaven, woman, I love you and your funny. I am mostly C as well although I should be a D. Mainly I just answered this as how I would handle life if I had children (crawl into a tiny closet and cry a lot, probably).
What’s even better than a post from you is reading the comments left by your peeps!
Swear to Him that I had a recurring nightmare of thigh dreadlocks as a child.
Thank you for giving them a name. Actually, the were on my shin in the dream.
Isn’t this fascinating?
Love this Wendi. so funny.
hmmm…I’m all C’s. I’ve been fantasizing about the idea of a child army forever and having a sweatshop in my basement is all too lovely an idea. We can be the captains and they will be our child army and we will rule with wine and it will be awesome.
If you mix 4c and 7c you get an even stranger mental image
Only one thing to say:
Better living through chemistry.
Brilliant Wendi! I really like the idea of the kiddie pool, think I might incorporate that into the next barbie!
Finally! A test I can ace without even trying!
Proud to be a “C!”
😀 Anna
Thank you so much for the idea! I’m going to start converting the basement into a sweatshop today. Maybe I can convince my kid that it’s like an episode of Phineus and Ferb.
Can I get a tea-length skirtini?
Fine. I’m a C.
Love it all.
C, Senora.
HILARIOUS!! Also, very very true. I too am a C. And can anyone tell me who Bieber is? It’s like the kid made a pct with the devil. One day: No Bieber, next day: Bieber every where…tv, radio, on your shoes….
Looks like we’re twin daughters of different mothers.
No need for DNA test, I’m the same genetic make up.
Give me a solid C.
“c) A gasoline-powered weed whacker with 10 adjustable settings and a special blade specifically designed for “thigh dreadlocks.”
Haha! I think many women will need this machine! ie. Me!
Too funny. I could tell the “c”s were personal, it’s like I am psychic. I would dread summer, expect my kids are too young to be in school so they are already home every day. I am getting a head start by dreading tomorrow 😉 I do not look forward to the TX heat though.. haha, look forward, it’s already here.
Bieber… Gahh! I am so over 13-year old angsty love.
I have of yet to meet an A (that doesn’t have three nannies and a medicine cabinet full of mothers little helpers).
I chose all C’s…. i think I’m starting to think like you 😀
When in doubt go with the longest answer. That is pretty much how I passed most of my exams.
I am correct?