No, I’m not up for an Oscar this year. Unless by “Oscar” you mean “PTO Award for Most Meetings Missed Due to Hiding Out in the Ladies Room Reading US Weekly Until They’re Done Talking About Lame-O Funding Requests and They Finally Start Gossiping About the Hot Crossing Guard Who Dates Cougars.”
(But even if I were nominated for that, I’ll probably lose it to my friend Maria, anyway. She’s got her own stall.)
What I’m trying to say is that today I’m over at the fabulous McSweeney’s where I give My 2010 Oscar Night Predictions, so click on those words you just read and take a look!
As you’ll see, I’m guessing my Oscar night will go a little differently than that chick from Precious‘ will. Also, how come when I Googled “Oscar image,” 200 pictures of the boxer Oscar De La Hoya wearing nothing but boxing gloves and ladies panties and high heels came up? Must investigate. That’s just not right.