In case you actually made it through this post and want even more, last year’s wonderful rejected hearts can be found here. ( And no, they’re not much better than this year’s batch. Sorry.)
If you want to make a Rejected Heart of your own, click here. Email it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org, and if I get enough, I’ll post them next week. And please, try to stay within my very high standards of taste and decorum, okay? I have a reputation to uphold.