Jack, What Are You Doing Out of Bed?
February 1st, 2010
I’m thirsty.
I’m hungry.
It’s too dark.
It’s too bright.
I heard a noise that sounded like Darth Vader trying to destroy our kitchen.
I need to floss.
I need to wipe.
I need to sit in the hallway with a flashlight and organize my two million Pokemon cards.
My finger hurts.
My eye hurts.
My spine hurts. Oh, wait, I meant my kidneys. No, wait, my spine. Kidneys. Spine. Kidneys. Sp…hey, can I have a peanut butter sandwich? With no crusts on it?
I don’t want to go to sleep tonight.
I don’t want to go to school tomorrow.
I don’t want to go to that one place we went to that one time on that one day because I lost a staring contest with that one guy who was wearing a Wiggles shirt and now he wants to chase me and push me down so my face gets rocks on it. So, can we not go there again, ever? And you know I’m not talking about that one place we went to that one day that has those crayons, right? Because I like that one place. But not the other one. The other one is lame-o.
I heard a bump.
I heard a crash.
I heard you and Daddy watching “American Idol” and I just wanted to know if Simon liked anyone today.
My pillow fell down.
My other pillow fell down.
My other other pillow fell down. Because I was cannonballing off my bed. Because I had to rescue my other pillows. Because they were all the way over in the corner. Because I couldn’t reach them when I stood on my nightstand. Because I needed a really long rope. Because I was trying not to bother you.
I’m not sleepy.
I’m not tired.
I’m not ready for bed.
I’m not going to leave until you come upstairs and tuck me in again. I know, but you must have done it wrong last time. You need to do a total re-tuck. And this time—I’ll stay in bed, mommy.
I promise.
__________________________________
Photo taken by the extremely talented Elizabeth Knox who is relocating from Austin to New England. Be sure to give her a call if you’re in need of a great photographer.
Also, this year Blogher ‘10 is in a little neighborhood called New York City. Aunt Becky, Marinka, Kelcey, and I (of The Mouthy Housewives and Mommy Wants Vodka) have put in for a Room of our Own on how to create a successful advice site. We’ll talk about how to handle every question out there from broken zippers to broken marriages with sensitivity and humor while making some cash, too. It will be funny and entertaining and we might smuggle in some vodka and quesadillas.
But we need your vote if you’re a BlogHer member. Kelcey will give you a personal tour of New York City. I swear. Just click here, log on to Blogher and then click “I would attend this session” (it’s just above the title: Dear Abby 2.0). Thank you!
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36 Comments
Add your own1. Libby | February 1st, 2010 at 7:38 am
Soooo glad Meg still sleeps in a crib. And can’t talk yet.
2. hokgardner | February 1st, 2010 at 8:50 am
We went through stuff like that with Ella. Come to think of it, we still do. I can’t count the number of times she’s woken me up at 10:30 at night to tell me that it’s too quiet in the front of the house.
And that picture is adorable!
3. Jan | February 1st, 2010 at 8:55 am
My son came up with a new reason not to go to sleep last night:
“But, I HATE being BORED at bedtime!” This on the advice that it would be easier to go to sleep if he didn’t keep playing his new Nintendo DS. Was he hard to pry out of bed this morning? Dang straight!
4. Surfie | February 1st, 2010 at 8:57 am
Wow, I hope all that wasn’t from one night! I loved the phrase “so my face gets rocks on it”. Poor little guy.
5. Marinka | February 1st, 2010 at 9:21 am
He is adorable. Although probably not around bedtime.
6. the mama bird diaries | February 1st, 2010 at 9:38 am
My favorite is the re-tuck. Why does every kid in America need to be re-tucked?!
7. Jeffrey | February 1st, 2010 at 10:51 am
Daddy, how come you and mom get to wrestle in bed because it sounded like begging going on in here!
8. Carolyn Online | February 1st, 2010 at 11:04 am
What is your son doing in my daughter’s body?
9. Sarah M | February 1st, 2010 at 11:15 am
Dang! That Darth Vader gets around!!! No wait..if Darth Vader came here my son would think it was Christmas…
That is one clever kids who knows where his kidneys are.
ADORABLE picture.
(I am SO GLAD that my house is not the only one in the USA with a googolplex of Poke cards…AND I know that electric types are good against water types!! ha ha!!)
10. Amy | February 1st, 2010 at 11:43 am
Jack has two partners over here as well — 3:15 AM — “Mommy, can we go down and play with our Art Studio?”
11. Lois H. | February 1st, 2010 at 12:07 pm
I have had nights like that lately. With both my 5 and almost-9 year olds! I know it is hard for them because they think we are having a rollicking good time after they go to sleep. If only they knew we just collapse in a puddle of exhaustion – it would be so disappointing for them.
12. Wendi | February 1st, 2010 at 12:07 pm
Ms. Aarons, The Other Wendi will be checking the BlogHer Agenda this summer to see if you’re presenting. Our other selves may just bump into each other in NYC.
13. Crys | February 1st, 2010 at 1:03 pm
Huh! Mine don’t get out of bed…anymore! Of course if they hear us ‘wrestling’ and wanna know why we’re making so much noise and why we get to have fun and they don’t…we’re OLD and we pay the bills!
14. ann | February 1st, 2010 at 3:29 pm
That photo!!!
my household favorite is “I HAVE A HANGNAIL!!”
15. Jen | February 1st, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Sounds like fun. I may have to look into the BlogHer conference. Although, I have such a little following and this is just a bit of a hobby not sure how worth it. But, I’d love to meet you gals. I’m sure you’re a hoot.
16. Cassie | February 2nd, 2010 at 7:19 am
I’m pretty sure the 8 year old gave me every single one of those excuses last night!
17. SoccerMom | February 2nd, 2010 at 7:33 am
Great photo. When my kids were little it was always “I need a band aid”. Our house was the HOUSE OF BAND AIDS, and it still is. My kids are now 19 and 15. So it appears it will never change.
18. Patty | February 2nd, 2010 at 7:43 am
My daughter was a vampire from birth. She woke when the sun went down, and did not go to sleep voluntarily until sunrise.
She and I watched The Late Show, The Late Late Show, The Early Early Show and The Early show for what seemed like years.
She’s 33 now and STILL, by preference, comes to life at 5:00 p.m. Incidentally, her knowledge of old movie trivia is encyclopedic.
I have been suffering from sleep deprivation since 1977. Good luck with Jack — a handsome young man.
19. mommy on the spot | February 2nd, 2010 at 8:10 am
I get the same lines at quiet time. I gave up on her taking a nap, and for awhile she was OK with having some down time in her room, and now she gives me all these excuses not to anymore.
20. Laura | February 2nd, 2010 at 8:26 am
I think my children and him are sharing some lines there… He’s so cute though, how could you not just cuddle him up?!?
21. Amber | February 2nd, 2010 at 9:10 am
Ohhh cannot wait for BlogHer10. I’m registered and we have a room booked!!! I’ve clicked you link and vowed to attend
So, now that I’ve done you a favor, I can totally stay with you in Austin when we come to visit right? RIGHT?!? hehehe
22. Aunt Becky | February 2nd, 2010 at 11:22 am
So who can I spam bomb to insist that we get this panel? Because OBVIOUSLY. Our awesomeness will overwhelm BlogHer.
23. muffintopmommy | February 2nd, 2010 at 12:32 pm
So…I can’t relate to this. At all. My boys never get out of bed. What do you think you’re doing wrong? If you need any advice, just cawl me. MA HA HA HA!
Oh and p.s. How adorable is he? Can’t get mad at that face!
24. Lulu and Moxley's Mom | February 2nd, 2010 at 12:58 pm
Done — of course would go to that session. I need to sign up before it sells out.
My girls have started the bedtime stalling and it drives me nuts. I need to start the routine at 4 pm so they are actually in bed by 7:30.
25. Mehitabell | February 2nd, 2010 at 1:28 pm
El Fuzzo’s best: “I want cake”. Yeah, me too. Too bad we don’t have any already made up. Shoot.
Then there were the Closet Monsters. We got rid of the Under-The-Bed Monsters with a can of Aveda Brilliant hairspray. Don’t ask. That situation created the infamous “Scary-Mommy-Monster” incident. We don’t talk about that anymore.
26. Krabies | February 2nd, 2010 at 8:56 pm
I know it seems crazy but enjoy all that lack of sleep. My boys at the ages of 12 and 15 go to bed and stay there!! Or I am up waiting for them!! A scary feeling sometimes.
27. Sophie, Inzaburbs | February 2nd, 2010 at 10:35 pm
So you don’t get: “OK Mommy, this time I will try *really really hard* to stay in bed, OK?”.
Followed shortly by “Well I *tried* but then I had to …”
He is too cute!
28. Heather | February 3rd, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Those were funny! JonJon is 3 so we’ve not hit the total stage of getting out of bed. It’s the getting him into bed the first time that is the trick!
29. Carol | February 3rd, 2010 at 1:39 pm
I know, the walking and talking have some draw backs, huh?
Carol
30. Margaret (Nanny Goats) | February 3rd, 2010 at 5:06 pm
I don’t know whether to consider myself lucky I don’t have to go through this, or jealous because I don’t get to go through this.
31. Kristi | February 3rd, 2010 at 9:44 pm
“Mom! Mom! I nee a tish-you!” (My 3 yr old pointing to the streaming, green tusks running down his face. Why can’t he just wipe his face on his sheets like every other kid?!)
32. Lisa Rae @smacksy | February 4th, 2010 at 11:49 pm
I love Jack.
Bob laid this one one me:
“Mom? I think I’m nocturnal! Mom?”
For real.
33. phd in yogurtry | February 5th, 2010 at 9:15 am
Need to do a re-tuck!
I’m glad my kids didn’t read this when they were little.
34. Kate Coveny Hood | February 5th, 2010 at 7:23 pm
My daughter wakes up in the middle of the night crying and when I go to her she actually says things like “Mommy – I want a special treat.” So of course I seize on this opportunity and get us both some chocolate chips. I wonder why she keeps doing that…
Your son is adorable. That face makes me smile.
I will absolutely vote for your “room” since I will be there this year!
35. Verna | February 6th, 2010 at 5:00 pm
Still cracking me up, O Wise One.
36. Fairly Odd Mother | February 6th, 2010 at 8:44 pm
Every night, I tuck my son into bed and, about a half hour later, he comes downstairs and tells me I need to tuck him in. Wha!??! Didn’t I just do that? But, he knows I’ll be confused enough to go up and do.it.again.
Kids.
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