Based On A True Story
October 20th, 2009
Recently, a mommy blogger came under fire because her story about her mistreatment by the TSA turned out to be not exactly true. This incident has since spurred a very vigorous dialogue about whether or not we should believe everything that’s written on blogs by people whom we have never actually met in person.
Therefore, today I’d like to take the opportunity to reassure you all that everything I write on this blog—oops, hold on, I just need to take this call real quick because I think it might be Oprah and Gayle asking me to poker night—-is 100% true. Everything.
In fact, I couldn’t even—-sorry, but Beyonce’s emailing me again about my secret potato salad recipe—-make things up out of thin air if I tried! I just don’t have that wild of an imagination.
So that’s why I’m sitting here today in Martha Stewart’s guest house setting the record straight. I want you all to know that you can trust me. I want you all to know—-wait a sec, I just need to tell the CNN trucks where to set up so they can film my cat Freebird being launched into orbit in our homemade space shuttle—-that I will never, ever lie to you. Never!
In fact, as my lunch companions Deepak Chopra and Howie Mandel just reminded me, I don’t need to make things up when I have so many exciting things happen to me on a daily basis. Things like wrinkles! And flat tires! And PMS! Who the hell even needs fiction when you have material like that to draw upon? Not me, baby!
Well, I thank you for your time. I’ve enjoyed our little chat, but it looks like I need to head off to my nuclear disarmament meeting at U.N. right now. (The delegate from Tunisia gets testy if I’m late.) But before I go I just want you all to know that I’ll always be completely honest with you; you can feel secure when you read this blog. You can believe in me and trust me.
That is, until someone posts a video proving that I didn’t really make-out with the Jonas Brothers last week. Then you’ll know I just made that shit up.
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized
45 Comments
Add your own1. Kim Tracy Prince | October 20th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Thank goodness. I was all “who CAN we believe?!” Now I know I have somewhere to turn.
2. Rachael | October 20th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
I am so damn thankful for the integrity of bloggers such as yourself. I know when I write my blog, I am extra careful to fact check each conversation that DH and I have (we record everything so that there is never any question about me embellishing anything).
So thank you – thank you very much for this post.
See you tomorrow when we’re scheduled for lunch at the Ivy with RPatz and Jacob Black in his werewolf form. XOXO!
3. Neil | October 20th, 2009 at 1:44 pm
If you are going to make up lunch companions I would have gone for more interesting than those two!
4. Stillie | October 20th, 2009 at 1:57 pm
Creative license. That’s what makes the Internet fun! Maybe I should start embellishing my real experiences to boost readership!
5. hokgardner | October 20th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
That’s why my blog isn’t popular! I don’t make stuff up. Off to write more fascinating stories and drop lots of names.
6. Jessica | October 20th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
I think people should talk about whether or not they can trust everything that is told them by people they know everyday.
As much as most people are in denial about it, they’re being lied to regularly! Your husband thinks those jeans make you look fat and your employee isn’t really sick!
7. Jessica | October 20th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
Oh and by “you” of course I didn’t mean you.
8. AmyMusings | October 20th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
I haven’t done my job as a blogger if I haven’t fantasized in great detail about my life being ten times more fascinating than it really is.
9. Sarah M | October 20th, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Well phew..I was worried it was all fake!
10. christy | October 20th, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Hehe – I’d actually heard that there was some sort of controversy but I had no idea what it was. Now I must google it to see if I read the blog — though I guess I don’t, because I haven’t read about anything TSA related.
So which Jonas brother was cuter?
11. lancelonie | October 20th, 2009 at 3:31 pm
You are sooo hilarious! Really. I was enjoying every minute of it.
I was gonna write some more but Elisabeth Hasselback keeps calling me!!! I think she just wants to show off her new shoes for The View. Well, sorry, gotta go…!
12. Lisa Rae @ smacksy | October 20th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
If I am free to embellish my glamorous life, perhaps I won’t have to talk about poo every post. But what else is there? And you guys love poo. Am I right? Right?
Is this thing on?
13. Laura | October 20th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
Say hi to Martha for me! I bet those are some nice guest linens…
14. DG at Diaryofamadbathroom | October 20th, 2009 at 5:35 pm
Girl, you’re the gospel. Your church. Word.
I am patently full of shit.
15. Beth | October 20th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
You mean some of the crap I read isn’t real?! Dang it! Who am I to believe?
16. the mama bird diaries | October 20th, 2009 at 7:02 pm
I don’t know how you can even joke about hooking up with the jonas brothers. I mean, obviously, that would be a dream come true. It could still happen for you Wendi. Don’t give up.
17. jessica | October 20th, 2009 at 8:52 pm
I feel the same way and Britney, (Spears) my BFF and tonight’s dinner companion will attest to that as well
18. Kirsten | October 20th, 2009 at 8:54 pm
I knew it!! You’ve got Deepak Chopra devotee written all over you.
19. log_lady | October 20th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Dear God you are awesome!! Just when shit gets, well, shitty, I can always count on this blog to make my day.
Okay, that was terribly sappy, but true…unlike most other things on these here wireless memofax interweb machines.
20. Invader_Stu | October 21st, 2009 at 2:53 am
I’ll be watching CNN to see the kitty launching… since you would never lie to us
21. MommaB | October 21st, 2009 at 5:17 am
I just don’t know what I would do, if I could not believe every word you said! I have to have something to hold onto, as being right and true and good in this wretched world! ha!
Have a great day WA!
22. Braja | October 21st, 2009 at 6:25 am
You are so daft…you left your handbag (the pearl one? from Hermes?) in the lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel the other night when we were there for dinner with George and that Italian slut….can you keep it together, woman??
23. ann | October 21st, 2009 at 7:23 am
I think your work at the orphanage in Albania is very admirable.
And how generous of you to adopt yet another teenager from Minsk.
But posting twice in 24 hours? That is clearly bullshit.
24. Lisa | October 21st, 2009 at 7:39 am
Niiice. If a human being can so much as speak, write or mime…there’s a good chance we’re being lied to.
25. sandy | October 21st, 2009 at 8:38 am
You mean George Clooney doesn’t really intern for the Fug Girls?
Shit.
(Whose blog came under fire? That’s so stupid.)
26. Lisa @ Boondock Ramblings | October 21st, 2009 at 9:05 am
Are you serious? I believe everything I read online and especially on blogs, so I’m sure all of this is true! Tell Oprah: “Hey, Girl! Love your hair! Whoot! Whoot!”
27. Kendra | October 21st, 2009 at 9:40 am
So that’s why no one reads my blog! I never thought of just making stuff up! Of course, my imagination is only about as interesting as my real life, so my fictional blog would have me doing things like running into an old high school friend in Walgreens and finding out she married my ex-boyfriend but they’re divorced now, rather than driving through Taco Bell on my way to the bank because, hey, I’m going to have a fat ass anyway–which is what really happened. Maybe I should just admire deceptive people for the powers of their imaginations, because at least their imaginary lives are pretty interesting.
28. vodkamom | October 21st, 2009 at 10:08 am
I’d love to stay and chat but someone is posting naked pictures of me with Angelina’s head on my body. Happens ALL the damn time.
29. Life at the Funny Farm | October 21st, 2009 at 10:32 am
Not knowing who to believe was keeping me up nights. What a relief to know that I can depend on EVERYTHING you say to be true. Wait–can you hold a sec? Arnold is calling me again about the budget crisis here in California, and he just won’t stop badgering me until I can fix this problem. Sigh. This will take longer than I thought, and now I’m getting IM’d by Desmond Tutu about those peace talks. Gotta go…
30. Megan | October 21st, 2009 at 11:54 am
Is your cat really named Freebird? Because I think you’re my new hero.
31. peajaye | October 21st, 2009 at 12:34 pm
wait a second. so are you suggesting that all those buxom young women in all those sidebar ads are NOT looking for me right now either? wtf?
32. K | October 21st, 2009 at 12:48 pm
You mean that everything you read online isn’t true?
I’m totally crushed. It’s just shocking.
33. gray matter matters | October 21st, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I would have commented earlier, but Screech from “Saved by the Bell” was giving me a pedicure while the cast of Seinfeld acted out the Master of my Domain episode live in my TV room.
34. Carolyn Online | October 22nd, 2009 at 5:54 am
Which Jonas brother? Oh wait… were you making that up? Damn.
35. Chris | October 22nd, 2009 at 8:15 am
You’re a riot! Great way to pepper the blogosphere with some much needed levity. Funny, funny stuff!
36. Kate Coveny Hood | October 22nd, 2009 at 9:25 am
I keep reading these posts and thinking about my first experience with an online relationship. It wasn’t mine though. In the late ’90s, my manicurist had a twelve year old son who had a little girlfriend that he met “online.” I got the update on their love story every two weeks, and eventually the day came when I heard about their plans to finally meet. Apparently my manicurist’s boyfriend was skeptical. His take: “we’ll see…considering ’she’s’ probably some fat 40 year old guy.” I thought this was hilarious at the time, but now I’m a bit horrified. Either way, I think that set me up to always be ready for the big reveal. One of these days, SOMEONE is going to come out as a fat 4o year old guy. I’m positive.
37. Lulu and Moxley's Mom | October 23rd, 2009 at 5:56 am
I love the lunching with Howie Mandel. He’s the one who’s afraid to shake hands, right? I hate shaking people’s hands so I might start feigning the condition he has.
38. Hannah | October 23rd, 2009 at 8:57 am
Tell Martha I want my casserole dish back! She borrowed it last week and still hasn’t returned it;)
39. schmutzie | October 23rd, 2009 at 10:03 am
This weblog is being featured on Five Star Friday – http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/10/five-star-fridays-edition-76.html
40. Jen | October 23rd, 2009 at 10:56 am
Yes, we as bloggers never expand on the truth. Of course we are going to tweak stories, particularly if they involve individuals who might be reading our blogs. It’s called creative license. I’m guilty of it all the time.
41. Ben | October 24th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story. That’s what I say!
42. p-huong | October 25th, 2009 at 4:27 pm
Perfect post for me to comment and say I have something on my blog for you. Your honesty definitely deserves an award.
43. Heather | October 26th, 2009 at 4:15 am
I’m with you. When your blog post about hemorrhoids is linked by Glamour, com, as in THE GLAMOUR MAGAZINE, who needs to make shit up when you have glamourous hemorrhoids?!
44. Candy | October 26th, 2009 at 8:26 am
Well, as the Keeper of All Information and Knowledge, it is good to know that you are the Keeper of All Truth, so that I can point people in your direction when they ask.
45. Jennifer | November 5th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
How did I not see this till now? YOU ROCK!
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