The Wounded Fish
The Somewhat But Not Really I Mean Who Are Kidding Here? Downward Facing Dog
The At Times Unstable Warrior II
The Quivering Hamstring
The Extended Eye Roll
The Nose Whistler
The Forward Facing Wobby Meth Chimp
The Half-Drooling Pigeon
The Sinus Headache Salutation
The Snoring Jackass
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I’ve gotten really good at the swearing-like-a-sailor-stretch.
I like the quivering hamstring. I’m really good at that. The next day it turns into the son-of-a-bitch-I’m-sore!
What about the OMG-one-more-lunge-and-I-am eating-mat move??
Having newly discovered Yoga on the Wii Fit…I am SO THERE. I have decided mother nature did NOT design my body for this. About the only thing I can do without pain is the breathing ha ha.
The extended eye roll…oh my oldest child has this perfected and she isnt even in a yoga class…
Kudos to you for even trying. I have just recently perfected the “See how far your ass can spread, couch squat”. I’m actually brilliant at it.
The Forward Facing Wobby Meth Chimp is one I think you should post a photo of.
I’ve perfected the Bunny Hopping Into Jeans I Have No Business Terrorizing.
Fine moves, all.
I am working on The That Smell Did Not Come Out of Me Shoulder Shrug.
The Extended Eye Roll I excell at.
Also the Sitting Like a Sack of Potatoes Because My Hip Just Dislocated.
“The Quivering Hamstring”
LOL-I did this one last night after waiting WAY too long to start doing yoga again!
I also did the “Are you freakin’ kidding me? Nuts to that! I’m going to sit on my ass and watch you turn yourself into a pretzel” pose.
At least you didn’t do the Farting Child Post. That one is totally embarrassing.
Wait! What’s more embarrassing is when you go to write Farting Child Pose and spell Post instead.
My friend asked me to go with her to yoga a lot of times. She did tell me about that “leaving a cloud” moment. I find it funny and thought it’s not really happening. But it does, they say.
I’m curious about “the snoring jackass”… 🙂
I am a big fan of the “Butt cheek clenching, gas squencher” for all of those yoga classes after a heaping bowl of Fiber One.
But can you do Warrior 14 1/2? That’s the one where the warrior’s arms are so tired they sag down to her knees, and she isn’t allowed to be seen anywhere near the front lines. I’ve got that one DOWN.
Yoga makes me feel incompetent.
I am like the Madonna of the Extended Eye Roll. I am also awesome at the Drowning I May Have Pulled Something Dog and You’ll Be Hearing From My Lawyer Hamstring.
I got a visual with the Wounded Fish that may help me stay out of the freezer tonight.
I’m only good at that eye roll one…
I have mastered the Unstable Warrior. I can be your mentor if you want to move beyond the At Times Unstable Warrior to full blown All The Time Unstable.
Frowning and cursing under my breath pose is my favorite
I really excel at the “Watching my mother do yoga with Rodney Yee and laugh my ass off while adding sound effects” pose really well. I think my dog has also conquered the “Since you are laying on the floor near my eye level, why don’t I lick your face and fart as I pass you by” pose.
Oh and I did try yoga once but took off for the mall halfway through class, as I had a sudden craving for a soft pretzel and world peace.
This is good stuff! I do yoga too, so I immediately identify with all of YOUR positions! I pulled my hamstring nearly 7 months ago and it still flares up from time to time, so the quivering hamstring really rings true!
I have done all of those and have since stopped going to yoga. I always end up straining something.
Love Aunt Flo! Something is in the air… just saw this today too:
http://periodfairy.com/
Um, where are the pictures?
My favorite is The Forward Facing Wobby Meth Chimp…. lol
I personally have perfected the “I AM breathing” middle finger extension.
Oh I’ve been doing the The Forward Facing Wobby Meth Chimp for years. I just didn’t know what it was called.
I believe I have been in every one of these positions before, but have fully mastered the Extended Eye Roll. NO I CAN NOT PUT MY FEET OVER MY HEAD. Are you trying to kill me Yoga Teacher? Or are you just showing off?
My move would be: “Fat Girls Shouldn’t Do Yoga. Period.” Move. 🙂
Why do you think they end every yoga class with The Corpse Pose…and I wish I could say I was kidding!
Wobby meth chimp, my favorite.
Long Lean From Fart
I like to do the F**k me, Fat people shouldn’t do Yoga.
I’m good at the holding-the-stubbed-toe-hop
That’s pretty much me–the only pose I can halfway do on a good, no great, day is child’s pose. Oh, and shavasana–I can sleep!
I’m pretty keen on Tree Being Actively Lost To Deforestation pose.
My teacher uses alot of Sanskrit, which can sound suspiciously accurate like “Ardha Uttanasana” which definitely has something to do with being grossed out by big butts sticking out all over the room.
On my yoga DVDs, Aunt Flo and all of the poses aren’t supposed to mix. Aunt Flo is good for so many things- getting out of PE (if that’s an issue), telling hubby to forget it, and putting off yoga for another day. Doing yoga while menstruating can cause the uterus to fall out, you know.
Giggled the entire time. I think that my roommates and I are going to try a few of those poses.
Well, I am not going to be trying yoga any time soon. I think I would be doing the “Oh my God, I cannot breathe, just go on without me” pose.
My coworker and I want to open a drunken yoga bar.
OK, I just had to leave the room because Brett (who is currently on a conference call with someone in China… go figure) is shooting me dirty looks. Apparently is is hard to hear his half-way-around-the-world coworker with a wicked accent over my chortles and guffaws.