Comments on: Writing Like Nobody’s Reading

By: GH

GH — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 19:26:12 +0000

So, I have one for you.
When I was 9, I peed on the carpet in our living room, and blamed it on the cat.

Good to know I’m not the only crazy one.

http://confessions-of-a-waitress.blogspot.com/

By: DM

DM — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 18:10:05 +0000

I recently reread the “Always” letter and was reminded of how funny you are. This just tops it as well. I will be back many, many times.

By: Sandy

Sandy — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 19:25:19 +0000

#5 made me laugh til I cried. Thanks!

By: Steve

Steve — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:01:23 +0000

You killed Billy Mays!!!!!!

By: Sara

Sara — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 01:14:28 +0000

GO JOHNNY DEPP!

I’m done…

By: Belle Bamford

Belle Bamford — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 15:41:36 +0000

I’m worried about you. You seem to throw up a lot.

By: MA Fat Woman

MA Fat Woman — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 03:19:45 +0000

I used like to drop a poot and walk away leaving someone else to walk into it.

By: AW

AW — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 16:26:26 +0000

You may write like no one is reading it but the audience is there, and deservedly so. You are a talented writer. I’m just sorry you aren’t a nicer person. I just received your P&G period letter in an email and had to investigate to see if it was a legitimate letter. That’s how I arrived at your blog. I realize that blog/letter is two years old, but it’s new to me so I have to say that I am so tired of women whining about their periods and then eventually their hot flashes. Dealing with the periods, and now the menopause, was well worth it to be able to experience pregancies and the births of my sons. And frankly, our great-great-grandmothers probably wrapped rags around their bottoms and then went back out to work in the fields.
I did enjoy your true confessions on this recent blog. You remind me of a contemporary Erma Bombeck–entertaining. I only hope you’re kidding about the stealing, from Gap or your employer.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 16:25:55 +0000

God, your very first confession reminded me of the time I bumped into a store display and a couple glass jars of nacho dip broke all over aisle 3. I told a clerk that “some lady over there” did it.

Signed,
Some Lady

By: Barb - WillThink4Wine

Barb - WillThink4Wine — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 13:28:48 +0000

Well, I hardly have any readers, so I’m apparently all set.

BTW, I’ve printed this out because you’ve given me some fabulous ideas. Except I c’m crossing out the Billy Mays and ShamWow guy one… Ack.

By: ann

ann — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 21:10:27 +0000

I’m totally telling Tim Spengler

(wait, was that his name??)

By: Andrea's Sweet Life

Andrea's Sweet Life — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 19:30:01 +0000

Do you think if I wrote like my mother-in-law was not reading, she’d stop calling me?

By: e. ann

e. ann — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 18:51:00 +0000

Oh Johnny… oh Johnny…
what makes me love you so!
You’re not handsome it’s true
but when I look at you-
I think
Oh
Johnny!
Oh Johnny!
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh!!

**shimmies**

By: Angela

Angela — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:04:14 +0000

I have been inspired to teach like no one is watching. I’m thinking vodka drips, tasers, and duct tape.

By: Akilah Sakai

Akilah Sakai — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 03:14:07 +0000

You’re bad!

If I wrote like no one was reading, someone WOULD read … and I’d be arrested shortly thereafter.

Still, I’d like to try this one day.

By: The Mom(aka Amy)

The Mom(aka Amy) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:49:38 +0000

6. Whenever I feel nauseous and want to make myself throw up, I imagine having to do a three-way with Billy Mays and the ShamWow guy.

Does this make you vomit or stop you from vomitting? My readership rests on your reply.

By: gray matter matters

gray matter matters — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 22:13:18 +0000

There’s a reason I can write my blog as if no one’s reading it…I’ll let you figure it out.

If you do end up buying Johnny Depp please give him a shower.

By: misguided mommy

misguided mommy — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 20:57:41 +0000

sending emails from a coworkers computer. GENIUS. I can’t believe I haven’t thought of this. Can’t talk now must go send emails with links to vibrator.com to boss from girl I hate!

By: Hannah

Hannah — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 17:05:29 +0000

I wanted to throw up when I found an article detailing the “Sham wow guy’s” recent bust with a prostitute. Apparently she tried to bite his tongue off, so he punched her repeatedly in the head.

*shudders*

By: Cat

Cat — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 16:45:48 +0000

Good concept, one I try to keep in mind whenever I hit the “post” button.

The possibilities of such a list are horrifying and exhilarating in equal measure.