By Sophie, My 4 Year-Old Neighbor
1. My name’s Sophie!
2. I’m 4 years-old! (Holds up three fingers and a thumb.)
3. I live next door to you!
4. That’s my house right there! See it see it see it??? THAT’S MY HOUSE!!! Did you know that? Hello, house!
5. My favorite color’s pink!
6. Waitwaitwait! I just changed my mind! It’s blue! My favorite color’s blue! I LOOOOVVVEEEE BLUUUUUEEE SOOOO MUCH I COULD DIE!!!
7. Wait, can you erase that? I like pink now.
8. I really, really, really, really, really love kittens! KITTENS! KITTENS! KITTENNNNSSS!!!
9. And cats!
10. I do NOT like worms. I can’t stand worms. Yuck-o! One time, one time, when I was 2, I saw a worm and you know what? You know what? I totally puked up my grilled cheese! It was SOOO GROSS!
11. (Long pause while she tries to kiss a cloud.)
12. How many answers is that? Twelveteen? Fourteen? Eleventy thousand million?
13. I used to be a baby and all I did all day long was go “Wah wah wah!” Isn’t that funny? Wah! (Goes into two-minute long giggle fit over her own joke.)
14. Got any cookies around here?
15. (Another long pause while she attempts to lick her right elbow.)
16. Guess what? I have princess pajamas! I LOOOVEEE princesses! And pajamas! I wish I could wear my pajamas ALL DAY LONG, don’t you?
17. I really,really, really want to watch Hannah Montana, but my mommy says she’s not ready for me to start talking like a teenager yet. What’s THAT aposed to mean?
18. My favorite food is…is…anything red!
19. Guess what? My mommy loves to shop! She shops A LOT! Like EVERY DAY!
20-24. Uh-oh. I gotta go potty! (Frantic hopping up and down followed by a mad dash to the bathroom, then a few minutes of confusion while she tries to zip up her pants with her toes because apparently she’s now pretending to be an orangutan.)
25. (sigh) Can I go now? After I have a cookie? Pleasepleaseplease?? It won’t spoil my dinner, I PROMISE!