As some of you know, last week I completely disqualified myself from ever appearing on “Top Chef” when I splashed my face with hot oil while trying to cook a chicken. It wasn’t one of my finest moments in the kitchen, to say the least. (And, just for the record, the evil chicken in question was actually frozen at the time of the incident. Not alive. I’m not into organic food that much.)
But as a result of my amazing ineptitude, I was left with a lovely array of first and second-degree burns on the left side of my face, including my eyelid and my neck. It was nasty. It was painful. And it made me look like I should be out somewhere haunting an opera. And although all I wanted to do was just get under the covers and pout for a few days, unfortunately, it was Thanksgiving, so I instead had to get up, dust myself off and put my Vicodin back in the medicine cabinet until the day comes when I will once again be in dire need of it. Like the next time I have a c-section or a parent/teacher conference or something.
Anyway, despite the fact that I spent the weekend slouching around with a giant lavender bucket hat on my head that made me look like a butch Woody Allen, as of today, everything has healed very nicely and my skin now looks like it’s back to normal. Well, actually, it looks better than normal. It looks fantastic. Seriously, the left side of my face is now smoother than a baby’s bottom and the wrinkles, age spots and dryness have all but disappeared for good. Something that no expensive spa treatment has ever been able accomplish in all my years of trying. Which has me thinking–do you suppose Estee Lauder would be interested in hearing about my new Age-Defying Wrinkle-Reversing Glow-Inducing Hot-Chicken-And-Grease beauty treatment?
Yeah. Neither do I.
And that’s why I’m planning on making dinner in the microwave from now on.
(Thanks to everyone for all of the sweet comments and e-mails last week. I really, truly appreciate the concern and promise to not get hurt again. At least for a couple of days.)