I just read on the internets that teenagers who regularly watch “racy” TV shows are more likely to become pregnant. Which brings up the following questions:
1. Were all those Saturday nights I spent at home in front of “The Love Boat” and “Fantasy Island” actually a pathetic form of birth control?
2. Why didn’t I get knocked up the year I watched that slut Joan Van Ark sleep her way through the cul-de-sac on “Knot’s Landing”?
3. Is the real danger of teenage girls watching “Sex & The City” that they’ll then be influenced to sleep around? Or that they’ll start dressing like Carrie?
4. Besides Howie Mandel, who on TV nowadays isn’t at least somewhat alluring?
5. Will I soon have to limit my sons’ TV viewing to C-Span? Or is all that filibustering just a little too exciting?
6. Who the hell uses the word “racy” anymore?