I just got tagged by Deb, which is good news because this is one of those weeks when all I want to do is sprawl on the couch watching TV and wondering why I weigh more than all of the male gymnasts in the world combined.

So here goes–six quirky things about me:

1. I like to sprawl on the couch watching TV and wondering why I weigh more than all of the male gymnasts in the world combined. (Like you didn’t see that coming.)

2. Next month I will be taking swimming lessons. This is partly because of my near-death escape from a shark in Hawaii this summer, but also because my husband recently told me that whenever I swim it looks like I’m “battling a sea monster.” And losing.

3. For some reason, I really like to listen to the extended remix of “Disco Inferno” when I’m in the car. However, due to the many disco sirens and whistles in the song, I always think I’m being pulled over by a sheriff, and therefore spend the entire drive looking in the rearview mirror for the po-po’s flashing lights.

4. I can’t find anyone I like to cut my hair. Last week, I was stuck with a 21 year-old stoned kid named “Joey Disco” who spent an hour taking 1/8″ off of my hair and talking about how “awwww-suuummm” skateboards are. The time before, I had Terry, a Sideshow Bob lookalike, who styled my hair like a 1970′s Playmate and told me I could easily do it myself at home with “12 round brushes.” I had to tell Terry that if I even attempted to do it with two round brushes, I’d then have to call 911 and ask them to send over the jaws of life to rescue me from my own hairstyle, so maybe we should just stick with a curling iron from now on. Terry did not like that.

5. I get very upset when people leave their cars running while they go into a store. If it weren’t probably illegal, I’d love to get into their car and move it to a different part of the parking lot so they couldn’t find it when they came back. Oh, man, how I’d love to do that.

6. My socks never match. Ever.

Whew. Now that that’s done, I’m headed back to my busy day of sprawling on the couch and watching TV. Only this time, what I’m going to be wondering is just how come those beach volleyball players never seem to get a swimsuit wedgie. I mean, is it double-stick tape or what?