Hey, mommy, wanna hear a joke?

Sure, Jack.

OK. Why did the…no. How come the…no. Knock…no. Hmmm. OK, what did the car seat say to the window?

I don’t know, what did the car seat say to the window?

Hey, dude, nice carpet! (loud giggling) Wasn’t that a good one?

Not really.

What do you mean?

Well, I’m sorry, honey, but your joke didn’t make any sense. You see, a classic joke is constructed of two parts: the set-up and the punchline, which you had. But then those two parts also have to be somewhat related, otherwise your joke just lays there stinking up the room. Like yours did.

Oh. Well, want to hear another one?

Sure.

OK, why did the butterfly go to his house?

I don’t know, why?

Because it was on the carpet! (loud giggling) Was that a good one?

No, that bombed, too. Plus, your timing was a little off.

Oh.

Hey, don’t worry about it–comedy’s hard. Just ask Adam Sandler. He’s been trying to be funny for 25 years.

Really?

Uh-huh. And your jokes are already more sophisticated than his. I mean, you haven’t laughed at an arm pit noise since you were 3 years-old, right?

Right.

Listen, how about if I tell you a joke? Just to show you how it’s done. Ready? Why did the lollipop cross the road?

I don’t know, why?

Because it was stuck in a chicken! (loud giggling) Oh, man! Was that a good one or what? Slap me some skin! Come on! Hey, why aren’t you laughing? That was gold, Jerry! Gold!

Sorry, mommy, but I just don’t think you’re funny.

What? Why not? That joke was perfectly put together.

Yeah, but you’re a mommy. And mommies aren’t supposed to be funny.

Oh, OK. We’ll definitely have to talk about THAT later. But first, how about I tell that joke again? And this time, I’ll add in arm pit noises.

Wendi Aarons