The Joke Lesson

June 11th, 2008

Hey, mommy, wanna hear a joke?

Sure, Jack.

OK. Why did the…no. How come the…no. Knock…no. Hmmm. OK, what did the car seat say to the window?

I don’t know, what did the car seat say to the window?

Hey, dude, nice carpet! (loud giggling) Wasn’t that a good one?

Not really.

What do you mean?

Well, I’m sorry, honey, but your joke didn’t make any sense. You see, a classic joke is constructed of two parts: the set-up and the punchline, which you had. But then those two parts also have to be somewhat related, otherwise your joke just lays there stinking up the room. Like yours did.

Oh. Well, want to hear another one?


OK, why did the butterfly go to his house?

I don’t know, why?

Because it was on the carpet! (loud giggling) Was that a good one?

No, that bombed, too. Plus, your timing was a little off.


Hey, don’t worry about it–comedy’s hard. Just ask Adam Sandler. He’s been trying to be funny for 25 years.


Uh-huh. And your jokes are already more sophisticated than his. I mean, you haven’t laughed at an arm pit noise since you were 3 years-old, right?


Listen, how about if I tell you a joke? Just to show you how it’s done. Ready? Why did the lollipop cross the road?

I don’t know, why?

Because it was stuck in a chicken! (loud giggling) Oh, man! Was that a good one or what? Slap me some skin! Come on! Hey, why aren’t you laughing? That was gold, Jerry! Gold!

Sorry, mommy, but I just don’t think you’re funny.

What? Why not? That joke was perfectly put together.

Yeah, but you’re a mommy. And mommies aren’t supposed to be funny.

Oh, OK. We’ll definitely have to talk about THAT later. But first, how about I tell that joke again? And this time, I’ll add in arm pit noises.

Entry Filed under: Uncategorized


Add your own

  • 1. (Minivan Mom)  |  June 11th, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    This one is a favorite with 2nd grade boys:

    “What’s 1 + 1?”
    “No, eleven!!” (loud laughter at how he pulled a fast one over his mathematically challenged mother).

    Of course, Rich and I think the funniest joke is how often you have sex once you have 3 young kids and 2 full time jobs. We laugh until we cry over that one.

  • 2. (MadMad)  |  June 11th, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    Oh! I wish my kids weren’t asleep so I could tell them the lollipop joke! Actually, it might be even funnier if I go wake them up to tell them….

  • 3. (Lynners)  |  June 11th, 2008 at 11:35 pm

    It doesn’t matter what age or size they are, guys love bodily functions! I’ll never get it!

  • 4. (Lady Weasel)  |  June 12th, 2008 at 2:35 am

    Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

    A: To prove to the armadillo it COULD be done.

  • 5. (Queen Goob)  |  June 12th, 2008 at 5:24 am

    Wow… pains me to say this but I’m gonna have to hang with the Jack-Man. Work on your delivery, Mom, work on your delivery.

    Props….did you not have any props handy? They usually add a little more “umph” when you need it. Try some props. Oh, and little boys think rubber chickens are – the – bomb!

    Now, I’m gonna throw a joke out because it sounds like you need one: What’s got a trunk, lots of keys, and four legs? A piano up a tree.

    (Trust me, he’s young, he will laugh his bum off at this.)

  • 6. (coffeypot)  |  June 12th, 2008 at 8:01 am

    lady weasel stolm my joke, but I was going to use oppossum, since that is what we have more of in the South. Armadillos are more central and Western road-kill.

  • 7. (Lori)  |  June 12th, 2008 at 8:12 am

    We’re embroiled in the knock knock jokes here. Ah, gotta love the knock knock jokes. They never go out of style.

  • 8. (Lori)  |  June 12th, 2008 at 8:21 am

    Thanks for visiting me and leaving a comment, Wendi! I have to tell you, I went back a ways in your posts and laughed out loud at your comic genius on several of your posts. Thanks for that! Now, I have to go back through and comment on the specific ones that got me giggling now that I’m trying to be better about commenting.

  • 9. (Moi)  |  June 12th, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    I like the lollipop joke. Right now, my oldest has moved to the classic “no arms, no legs, (insert activity)” jokes.

    Totally un-pc here.

  • 10. (pat)  |  June 12th, 2008 at 3:38 pm

    oh god, that takes me back to years of sons jokes…i was simple-minded enough to pretend to laugh…..

  • 11. (Wicked)  |  June 12th, 2008 at 10:10 pm

    I love convos with kids – that was awesome!

  • 12. (zellmer)  |  June 13th, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    What did the snail say when it was riding on the turtle?


  • 13. (Anonymous)  |  June 13th, 2008 at 9:28 pm

    BOTH of my boys are into adding “in my pants” to everything they say and then laughing hysterically regardless of if it makes sense or not. I think I’m losing my sense of humor because unlike them, it just isn’t funny the 100th time it’s said!

    I don’t get this identity stuff below so my mangled mind is just going to type in my name and e-mail address. I thought I had a google ID since I’m on google groups, but what do I know? Name’s Amy and e-mail is

  • 14. (TLCknits)  |  June 14th, 2008 at 3:31 am

    OH, how I wish I was still at the knock/knock stage! My twins are now into the ‘joke I learned on the bus!’ stage!… NOT FUNNY!

  • 15. (Anonymous)  |  June 14th, 2008 at 6:38 am

    knock knock..

    who’s there?


    dwayne who?

    dwayne the tub i’m dwoning.

  • 16. (Samantha)  |  June 14th, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    what the body say to the other body in the funeral parlor
    is that you coffin?
    I used to think it was halarious its rght up there with yo mama jokes

  • 17. (the mama bird diaries)  |  June 15th, 2008 at 8:52 pm

    Well, your son is wrong about that. You are one funny mama.

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