Hey, Mommy, guess what?

What?

Guess what?

What?

Guess…

WHAT?

Mommy, did you know…um, did you know…guess what?

Whhhhaaaaaatttttt?

What’d you say?

I said “what” because you just said “guess what”.

What’d I say?

“Guess what?”

What.

“Guess what?”

What?!

No, I’m not saying “guess what”. You said “guess what”.

Oh. What’d I say that for?

I don’t know. Probably because you wanted to tell me something.

Oh. What?

Well, let’s see. I think what you wanted to tell me is that you’re going to run upstairs right now to pick up the 40,000 Lego pieces that are currently hiding in the carpet, sharpening themselves in preparation for the arrival of my bare feet. Also, you wanted to tell me that you’ve finally accepted both green and orange vegetables as your personal salvation and will no longer refer to them as “mean mommy food”. And, most important, Jack, you really wanted to tell me that when you grow up, you’ll never, ever go on a date with someone you meet in a “Dancing With The Stars” chat room.

(long, thoughtful pause) No…that’s not it. Hey, Mommy, guess what?

Wendi Aarons