#1:

Realistic Yo Mama Jokes:

Yo mama so fat, she use your college fund to pay for her gastric bypass operation and now you gots to work at Circle K to pay for your tuition.

Yo mama so tired, she got big dark circles under her eyes and now the other mothers think she a mini-van driving heroin addict.

Yo mama so mean, she make you brush your teeth with toothpaste from China.

#2:

From The New Line of Attitude T’s For Moms:

Will Vacuum for Wine!

One Hot Housewife!

I Don’t Know Who Their Father Is Either!

Two Beers Away From Showing You My C-Section Scar!

#3:

How Hot Was It?

It was so hot, I walked on some hot coals to cool off my feet.

It was so hot, I saw a menopausal woman spontaneously combust at Michael’s Craft Store and set the yarn balls on fire.

It was so hot, my landscaping died, which is actually really sad because I spent a lot of time and money on it and you know, death isn’t really a laughing matter even if it’s just a hibiscus plant we’re talking about, right?

#4:

Names of the Seven Dwarfs If They Lived in Austin in the Summer

Surly, Smelly, Rancid, Rashy, Homicidaly, Sticky and Doc.