doingword.com

An Open Letter to James Thatcher, Brand Manager, Proctor and Gamble

March 5th, 2007

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I’d probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I’d certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can’t tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there’s a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from “the curse”? I’m guessing you haven’t. Well, my “time of the month” is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I’ll be transformed into what my husband likes to call “an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.” Isn’t the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you’ve no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers’ monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it’s a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend’s testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey’s Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: “Have a Happy Period.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you’re some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything “happy” about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don’t march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn’t it make more sense to say something that’s actually pertinent, like “Put Down the Hammer” or “Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong”? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that’s a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

Originally published on McSweeneys.net

Entry Filed under: Uncategorized

257 Comments

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  • 1. noreply@blogger.com (Not-So-Naughty Voyeur)  |  March 14th, 2007 at 7:26 pm

    This letter was truly magnificent. Every time I hear that commercial on TV I want to stick my fist through it! Morons. Wouldn’t you have loved being at THAT ad meeting? You could have saved them from making a really bad decision. You should have had a bunch of women you know sign the letter along with you when you mailed it. I did that once, but for a local commercial. It was fun :)

  • 2. noreply@blogger.com (Yasamin)  |  March 14th, 2007 at 11:52 pm

    oh my god this was sooo hilarious! i got this in an email from a friend and about died laughing! i had no idea you were a real person! thats awesome… please do tell. i have do know..

    did you really send it???

  • 3. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 15th, 2007 at 7:36 am

    Wendi,

    You made our day. A copy of your letter circulated my office and we all love it. Perfect timing for many of us! We’re all tempted to go buy a box to see if it really says “Have a Happy Period” but we refuse to increase their profits.

    You go girl!

  • 4. noreply@blogger.com (Suzzanne)  |  March 15th, 2007 at 9:06 am

    This was very, very funny. I got in from a friend and sent it on to several friends. I also posted it on a webiste that women frequent.
    I hope you invest some more time in writing. You have a true gift for finding humor in everyday life. Finding a way to make life funny is what keep us sane. I have bookmarked your blog so I’ll be checking back.

  • 5. noreply@blogger.com (Nanny Shanny)  |  March 15th, 2007 at 10:45 pm

    ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS! I hope you don’t mind that I put it on my blog…I laughed so hard, so hard!

  • 6. noreply@blogger.com (stephanie)  |  March 16th, 2007 at 3:06 pm

    God bless ya! God bless ya!!!!!!

  • 7. noreply@blogger.com (Dark Lillith)  |  March 16th, 2007 at 3:53 pm

    Your letter made the rounds of my office as well and you could hear the women splitting a gut.

    I thought it was such an absolutely PERFECT way to deal with that indescribable bit of cutesy marketing created by what could only have been a bunch of overpaid, scotch swilling B.Comm yuppie spawn.

    Have a happy period…sure, would be more than willing to give it a shot if P&G will hand over the mutant who came up with that “Have a Happy Period” crappola.

    It isn’t that far removed from wishing someone a Happy Bowel Movement on the side of the Prep H tube…arseholes…

  • 8. noreply@blogger.com (Theresa)  |  March 21st, 2007 at 9:32 am

    I was laughing so hard I cried!!! Thank you for making my day!

  • 9. noreply@blogger.com (adayinthelife)  |  March 22nd, 2007 at 11:50 pm

    The little F-16 in my pants had me laughing for awhile before I could go on. Brilliant letter.

  • 10. noreply@blogger.com (l-tek-4)  |  March 23rd, 2007 at 6:17 pm

    Brillant letter! So well timed, I esp. liked the part about the: “boyfriend who said that ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ is written by a bunch of drunken chimps.”

    The whole set up was hilerous, with the “running down the beach in tight, white shorts” to the “F-16 in your pants.” I had to run check if my Maxi Pads DID say “Happy a Happy Period” on the adhesive (they don’t), but that commerical is enough to put any menstrating woman over the edge.

    You, Wendi Aarons, are a genius! I loved your letter. It made me laugh until I cried.

    Thank you, you’re an extremely talented writer and I look forward to reading more from you.

    Tara

  • 11. noreply@blogger.com (BoS)  |  March 24th, 2007 at 3:02 am

    Not to mention that when (not if) the wings come loose, you can get yourself a mini Brazilian without wanting one. Particularly at that time. … What’s his address again?

  • 12. noreply@blogger.com (Shana)  |  March 26th, 2007 at 4:54 pm

    I just received this as a forwarded email, too. It is hys-freaking-terical, Miss Wendi!

    To the idiots at P&G I say “Have a Happy Period” my ass… er, vijayjay!

  • 13. noreply@blogger.com (Tina)  |  March 27th, 2007 at 6:31 pm

    This letter is making the rounds through email. I think it is hysterical! Bravo

  • 14. noreply@blogger.com (runnergirlnyc)  |  March 28th, 2007 at 10:18 am

    It’s even worse then you let on:

    http://www.beinggirl.com/en_US/happy/pages/index.jsp

  • 15. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 28th, 2007 at 6:29 pm

    I laughed until I had to get a Depends …

  • 16. noreply@blogger.com (troutvision)  |  March 28th, 2007 at 7:30 pm

    nicely done – many thanks

    Dani

  • 17. noreply@blogger.com (Mary Ann)  |  April 5th, 2007 at 11:31 am

    Please tell me you sent it…you had to have sent it…I believe you sent it.

    When this was sent to me, I appreciated the F-16 and other bits. I imagined myself soaring and diving during my day.
    When I got the the “Happy period” part, the beverage I was drinking was ejected from my nose. It was a hot beverage.

    I initially thought that I may have written the letter and just forgot in a rage/hormone induced amnesia. It was exactly a month previous that I had seen the offending message. My poor father was in the vicinity and I went on a 15 minute rant about the motherfin male moron that had the audacity to put a message like that on it.

    I was relieved to find that you indeed are the letters author. I don’t have to doubt my sanity…as much.

    You did send it right?!?

  • 18. noreply@blogger.com (factor)  |  April 6th, 2007 at 7:57 am

    I got an exclusive interview with James Thatcher the infamous P&G Brand Manager last night. He expressed his remorse about the wave of negative comments regarding “Happy Period” and wants everyone to read his confessions at:

    http://www.beinggirl.com/en_US/happy/pages/ecards.jsp

  • 19. noreply@blogger.com (KickSkirt)  |  April 11th, 2007 at 5:52 pm

    This made my day all ten times it came through my mail.

    Thank you

    A fellow austinite

  • 20. noreply@blogger.com (Deborah Denson)  |  April 16th, 2007 at 5:57 pm

    This comment has been removed because it linked to malicious content. Learn more.

  • 21. noreply@blogger.com (Kedrin)  |  April 17th, 2007 at 5:41 am

    BRAVA!!! I mean, REALLY…a happy period? How about “Have a chipper childbirth” or “Have a jubilant hysterectomy” James? The brilliance of corporate America never ceases to amaze me…

  • 22. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 18th, 2007 at 4:46 pm

    Um, well, I have had periods I was very happy to get! The commercials that always amazed me are the pregnancy test ones where everybody’s so happy with the positive. I’m betting something like 90% of those are sold to people desprate for the minus sign as a result.
    Just sayin’

  • 23. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 20th, 2007 at 6:34 pm

    Someone randomly forwarded this to me and while, being male, I will never fully appreciate the complaint I can appreciate a well-turned phrase when I read one.

    This was quite a witty missive that I thoroughly enjoyed.

  • 24. noreply@blogger.com (Less traciesmomforever @yahoo.com)  |  April 30th, 2007 at 7:03 am

    I see your letter has drawn much attention, as it well should have. Congrads girl for voicing your opinion to those who should have some insite, but apparently do not. Way to go!!!!

    You would think a woman would be in charge of this division wouldn’t you. Maybe that should be your next letter, lol
    Less

  • 25. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 30th, 2007 at 9:40 am

    It’s been a month since this was posted (FABulous letter, BTW) and the apology factor refers to is gone, but the revolting ad campaign is not. So much for truly being sorry!

  • 26. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 30th, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    Rock on sister! Any moron who puts the words “happy” and “period” next to each other in a sentence deserves to be nuetered!!!

  • 27. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  May 9th, 2007 at 12:04 pm

    This is great. I opened up a pack of Always a couple of months ago and saw that and thought THE EXACT SAME THING!!!! Was someone in that marketing department REALLY that clueless???????

    ~Allie in Minneapolis, MN

  • 28. noreply@blogger.com (london_fox)  |  May 15th, 2007 at 4:35 am

    Greetings from the UK! Your letter has been circulated on emails over here and all us girlies are loving it!! Not sure if we have ‘happy period’ on the UK ones. I am also happy that you are not an urban myth and the letter does exist!! Thanks for making my day at work better!!

  • 29. noreply@blogger.com (T. D. Fuhringer)  |  May 25th, 2007 at 9:00 am

    Ha ha ha! That is terrific Wendi. I am posting a link to this letter on my blog’s front page today so my readers can enjoy this. Thanks for the great laughs.

  • 30. noreply@blogger.com (Sandy)  |  May 26th, 2007 at 4:33 pm

    Oh my stars. My son said I’d like this and he’s right. You write well too.
    About time someone told the world that “We are not happy crampers”.*

    * my own expression

  • 31. noreply@blogger.com (Jacqueline T Lynch)  |  May 29th, 2007 at 10:04 am

    Brilliant. There is no better response to the company’s condescending nitwittery than your insightful words. I’m still choking on the aerodynamic aspect of the product. Brava.

  • 32. noreply@blogger.com (uffda)  |  June 12th, 2007 at 3:02 pm

    THAT WAS AWESOME!!!!! I would have paid money to be a fly on the wall the day that was read. I could not have said it any better. I suffer from endometriosis and have said some of those exact phrases to inconsiderate, unempathetic, male doctors. I wish I would have had this with me on those visits.

    THANX!!!

  • 33. noreply@blogger.com (Lauren Baratz-Logsted)  |  June 13th, 2007 at 6:28 am

    This is fantastic.

  • 34. noreply@blogger.com (spyscribbler)  |  June 14th, 2007 at 5:53 am

    “”Have a Happy Period.”

    Oh, but they took it out! I LOVED that little saying! I miss it! It never failed to make me smile.

    Very funny post, though!

  • 35. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  June 24th, 2007 at 4:54 pm

    In Australia we have a company, Libra, that includes what they call “Odd Spots” of trivia on the adhesive backing… what do you think of this!?

  • 36. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  July 3rd, 2007 at 9:37 pm

    I’ve read this letter a dozen or more times, and I can never get past your alternate slogans without almost wetting my pants. I love you. :D

  • 37. noreply@blogger.com (Ally)  |  July 4th, 2007 at 9:44 am

    I am laughing my socks off. Thanks for this post.

  • 38. noreply@blogger.com (ewe are here)  |  July 4th, 2007 at 2:32 pm

    hahahahahahahaha

    Came over from Oh, The Joys, and am really glad I did. Great letter.

  • 39. noreply@blogger.com (SandyShoes)  |  July 6th, 2007 at 12:03 pm

    Excellent post.

    “Put down the hammer.” Perfect.

  • 40. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  July 20th, 2007 at 7:56 am

    Wonderful letter. I have rec’d it from a few people and sent it on as well.

    One of the best things about my hysterectomy, other then the obvious health benefits, was NOT seeing these stupid comments any more!!

  • 41. noreply@blogger.com (Merry Mama)  |  July 25th, 2007 at 1:38 am

    Thank God. I just got that advertisement on the back of my grocery receipt and I was thinking many of those same thoughts.

  • 42. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  August 12th, 2007 at 11:19 pm

    And if that wasn’t bad enough….Thay are now”pioneered” becase they went bask ro using cardboard indtesed of plastic applicators…..I thought thats what they used in the fist place… Maybe I just have a bad memory but am I righ???????

  • 43. noreply@blogger.com (Juliet)  |  August 13th, 2007 at 9:35 am

    I about wet my pants laughing! I for one agree with you on the stupidity of the “Have a Happy Period”. The first time I saw that on the package I about came unglued. I showed my husband that label and he said “thats asking for an ass whooping, morons!”

    Juliet,
    California

  • 44. noreply@blogger.com (Juliet)  |  August 13th, 2007 at 9:38 am

    I about wet my pants laughing so hard! I couldn’t agree with you more on the stupidity of that lil advertisement. The first time I saw that I showed it to my husband. He looked at me and said “that is asking for an ass whooping, morons!” Even from a mans perspective, he thought it was really stupid.

  • 45. noreply@blogger.com (Helen)  |  August 16th, 2007 at 4:54 am

    Absolutely brilliant!

    I’ve just hurt myself laughing at this! I’ve forwarded onto all of my girl mates!

    I really hope that the guy that devised that idea (it had to be a man as there is no sane woman on the earth that would think that one up!) got the sack big time!

    Absolute genius!

    Helen, UK.

  • 46. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  August 17th, 2007 at 6:12 am

    that letter is something i open up on my email when im feeling down.

    relates to all women
    the suckers at always should change their motto.

    fantastic, you go girl!!!!!

  • 47. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  August 20th, 2007 at 8:33 am

    I’ve worked on many P&G web sites (including “Fem Care”). So, I have sat in many a meeting where BMs (interesting title, isn’t it?) spout off about how their product transforms consumers’ lives. I always sat there thinking, “there’s no way consumers are going to buy this load of malarkey!” I know I didn’t!

    I’m so happy to hear that you don’t either! The problem with P&G is that they only think about their own agendas, and don’t put the consumer first (even though they like to think they do).

    So, good for you for calling them out! Maybe one day, they’ll really start listening.

  • 48. noreply@blogger.com (JoJo)  |  August 20th, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    Hahahahahaha !!! That’s just really funny.

  • 49. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  August 21st, 2007 at 9:35 am

    Tooo funny! How about, “Merry Vasectomy” cards or “Have a nice kidney stone, and many happy returns?” Or maybe we should just save that for the back of the acyclovir package. Good grief – who did they hire to do their ad campaign, “Morons R Us?”

  • 50. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  August 21st, 2007 at 11:19 am

    Yep. That was funny.

    Have you also noticed that the adhesive Always uses now for the overnight mega-thick, nothings-gonna-leak pads is now like superglue, though?

    Seriously, I can’t unstick these things from my underwear. There’s nothing that makes me feel more attractive than having my husband walk in on me while I’m sitting on the toilet, scratching at the crotch panel of my undies, trying to unstick them.

    Unless it’s sitting there in the same position, with fluff from the pad kind of floating around the room, as trying to remove the pad resulted in the whole thing tearing apart – seriously, who engineered these?

    I’ve got little bits to gooey plastic permanently stuck to all my panties.

    After 2 decades of loyalty to Always, I’ve switched to the generic brand at my grocery store.

    I’m so glad someone brought this subject up. Very happy to have gotten this off my chest!

  • 51. noreply@blogger.com (Veronique)  |  August 21st, 2007 at 4:35 pm

    LOL. I really appreciate it when someone can be so pissed off and still keep their sense of humor.
    Anyway… Use Natracare. Organic Tampons and Pads. They might not be Orgasmic but at least they don’t contain bleach or other chemicals.

  • 52. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  August 22nd, 2007 at 12:15 am

    I thought you were kidding. No really, I did – I don’t use the products anymore.

    Moron – too good a word. Wonder if it applies to the pad after use, too? (I could get very graphic and gross about the EXACT reasons why “happy” is the wrong word, in addition to the emotional reasons, but someone may be eating while reading this…)

    I can remember when there was NO NADA NONE advertising for “feminine products” in any medium except women’s mags. Now we get shown how blue fluid works, and get to imagine…and don’t worry

    Be happy.

    Sheesh.

    Zee in LA

  • 53. noreply@blogger.com (Minerva)  |  August 22nd, 2007 at 1:14 am

    Oh shit!
    LMAO!
    This is too hillarious.

    Best!
    Claudia X

  • 54. noreply@blogger.com (Nivuska)  |  August 22nd, 2007 at 3:20 am

    Dear Wendy
    I can understaind womens frustrations during their periods infact some of those letters and comments posted on this blog,were probably written while on their periods…!!! I personally think that at least “always” made an effort to make womens life easier during that time of the month.Afterall he’s not a doctor threfornot qualified to design and develope”ormonal curing/fixing/anti-criminal tendency pants?”.Next,itwill be accused of not understaiding men that are at the receiving end of those ormonal rage behaviour and not doing anything about it !!So get with it women….and change diet.Ormons is a physical thing ..not a piece of clothing !!

  • 55. noreply@blogger.com (Dianna)  |  August 24th, 2007 at 2:09 pm

    This is so true… I can’t believe they put that crap on their pads… its stupid.

  • 56. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  August 26th, 2007 at 1:40 pm

    Wendi, Wendi, Wendi,
    Thank god for you and your sparky sense of humor. It was probably the funniest thing I have read in a long time! I share your sentiment but would never be able to relay it so eloquently (tee-hee). When is your book coming out? Brenda in California

  • 57. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  August 27th, 2007 at 3:18 pm

    While funny at times it make me wonder how many thousands of years will it take for some women to embrace their own biology.

  • 58. noreply@blogger.com (Happy, in Hysteritaville)  |  August 29th, 2007 at 8:50 pm

    I didn’t see any “confessions” from this guy on the website. Wendi, I’m pleased to find that you are a real person, & I truly hope you really sent this.
    I used their “tell us what you think” page, & this was what I said. I encourage other women to comment to P&G about this stupid advertising.

    ” “Have a happy period”????
    You have GOT to be kidding.
    I can not believe you have not yet cancelled this ridiculous, insulting, condescending, IGNORANT advertising.
    “Road trip”? “Going to the mall”?
    How in the hell are you supposed to do that when you are in too much pain to get out of bed? Do you people have any clue how many women suffer from incapacitating menstrual pain? Have you ever even heard of endometriosis? Adenomyosis?
    I’m sure you have received other protests sparked by Wendi Aarons’s letter, which has been making the rounds everywhere. She speaks for a lot of us. REALLY a LOT. You are a laughingstock with this idiotic fluffy p.r. nonsense.
    Please do something with your advertising that doesn’t insult consumers — your would-be, and in some cases former, customers.
    And don’t you dare start spamming me with free offers, newsletters, or other fluffbrained nonsense. I had a hysterectomy 2 years ago and got my life back. I laugh all the way down the “feminine hygiene” aisle at the store. I used some leftover Always to wax my car, and frankly, James, they don’t work very well for that either.”

  • 59. noreply@blogger.com (Sheri)  |  August 30th, 2007 at 12:33 am

    Can you believe they still have that ad campaign going? Unbelievable!! I am soo glad I don’t use that brand, I switched from P&G a long time ago because of their stand on animal testing. Seems like their just a bunch of animals anyway. :)

    Great letter, hilarious!! You’ve got a gift!!

  • 60. noreply@blogger.com (nursevl)  |  September 4th, 2007 at 12:40 pm

    Brilliant!!
    I can understand…maybe,”be thankful you got your period.” or, “off the hook again until next month”, but c’mon!!
    How bout “Have another cocktail” ? Now that is appropriate!!
    Way to go!!! (Saw on plime, btw)

  • 61. noreply@blogger.com (Chris)  |  September 7th, 2007 at 11:28 am

    Honestly, the marketing campains for Always turned me so far off the normal methods of dealing with my period that I’ve gone strictly to the use of the Diva Cup. Manufactured by women, sold by women, who underSTAND what we deal with. Screw corporate America!!!

    I love your letter, and had seen it before. Go Girl!!!

  • 62. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  September 12th, 2007 at 2:05 pm

    http://www.always.com/extras/tvprintads.jsp

    The tag line says it all.

  • 63. noreply@blogger.com (The Brand Man Speaks)  |  September 14th, 2007 at 9:14 pm

    Wendi
    A blog colleague (a woman) forwarded me your letter/responses.
    Besides being extraordinary funny it was powerful stuff that hopefully was read by someone of authority at P and G.
    As an independent branding consultant I write the Brand Man Speaks (twice I was a brand manager in my career–yes snickering is deserved) a guide to the consuming world in which we live. I take consumers and their opinions very seriously and comment extensively about how clueless today’s marketing executives really are about their businesses.
    I commend you and have forwarded your incredible missive to many branding folks so that they might learn a thing or two.

  • 64. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  September 19th, 2007 at 3:10 pm

    Right on sister!!! When I first saw that commercial I said the same thing…are you fucking kidding me????? There’s no such thing as a “happy period”!!! Only a man could come up with such a stupid thing to say!!

  • 65. noreply@blogger.com (Crystal)  |  September 23rd, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    This is hilarious!!

  • 66. noreply@blogger.com (agapemom)  |  September 24th, 2007 at 3:43 pm

    Add me to the list of those who, “laughed until they cried”.

    You have a gift!

  • 67. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  October 3rd, 2007 at 7:57 am

    Oh so funny, This has made it’s way to Macon, Ga. They could try have a better period, anything but happy!

  • 68. noreply@blogger.com (choff)  |  October 11th, 2007 at 6:04 am

    I received this in an email from my girlfriend today. Hilarious! Googling your name I discovered discussions of your letter where there was speculation that you may be a man , since REAL women never have cramps that bad. Even I know better.

  • 69. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  October 12th, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    Well, I ‘m a guy who received this letter from a friend of mine. I can attest to and feel for this women. Being the only boy raised with 3 sisters, I was naturalized to this phenomenon at a very young age. (I also learned to pee sitting down so I never forgot to put the seat back down.) I think Mr. Thatcher should have consulted with Mrs. Thatcher before making this decision. Some guys never learn. LOL
    Thanks for the laugh, in more ways then one,
    Jim

  • 70. noreply@blogger.com (Kristi Smart Romantic Fantasy Coats and Clothing.)  |  October 16th, 2007 at 12:07 pm

    Your letter makes me laugh every time I read it. You are my hero! I sent it to men I know saying “Send this to the women in your life”. I get an email back from the guys asking why this is funny.
    I am normally a peaceful laid back chick.
    This month I tried to drive over a young twit standing guard over a parking spot I wanted. Not wanting to end up in jail I settled for cussing her out. She settled for laughing at me. She won.
    I also found myself taking advantage of a red light trying to yank out a tampax when the cramps were overwhelming. Don’t cell phone laws apply here? I mean, tampax are supposed to be hands free. Particularly when driving and wearing jeans.
    When I got home I replaced the offending device with a pad.. I do like a good pad. That is until you get a stray pube stuck to the glue. Fricken Hell. Its like pulling out nose hairs!
    Man… I cant wait for menopause.

  • 71. noreply@blogger.com (Brenda Wood)  |  October 18th, 2007 at 8:20 pm

    So true, so true!!!!! I can see myself and every female in my acquaintance in every line! Hope you keep writing….we all can use a good belly laugh at “that time of the month”.

  • 72. noreply@blogger.com (KarenB1961)  |  October 19th, 2007 at 7:35 am

    Managed to read it without embarassing myself (the snorting and snickering was somewhat audible but thankfully none of the guys were around). She has voiced what most women probably feel is an extremely condescending attitude in marketing about feminine products. Happy Period indeed. And the really stinker part of it is there really IS NO EQUIVILENT for men. Sucks big time. Men go bald (yeah, so do women). Premature Ejaculation? Nocturnal Emissions? Men, never worry about sticky sheets or pajama bottoms from Nocturnal Emissions again. New from Proctor and Gamble, JOCK LINERS! Now with FLEX WINGS!!! No no . . . wait . . . even better. The new JOCK SOCK. Fits comfortably, moves with you, FEELS LIKE YOUR NOT WEARING ANYTHING AT ALL!!!! (even better) ONE SIZE FITS ALL!!!!. I think men should stay out of marketing when it comes to women’s products.

  • 73. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  October 19th, 2007 at 9:37 pm

    This is circulating on MySpace and I had to find the author of this hilarious piece of writing! AWESOME! “Put down the hammer” is my favorite part… You rock.
    Colleen
    San Antonio, TX

  • 74. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  October 25th, 2007 at 10:07 am

    I saw this open letter just after I had a baby by C-section. For four weeks post partem I had to suffer the indignation of reading “Have a Happy Period”…

    While motherhood is wonderful, recovery from birth and a C-section is not, so much. Your letter made me laugh out loud and surely expedited the recovery process.

    Thank you.

  • 75. noreply@blogger.com (Jackie)  |  November 2nd, 2007 at 10:02 am

    Brilliant!

  • 76. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  November 8th, 2007 at 3:40 pm

    Too funny, but true! I had the recent experience of purchasing Kotex Security Tampons. Security from what? Perhaps they alert you to a flood in the basement or they can protect you from credit card fraud. Ridiculous. The only way I’d want my tampon to be on security duty is to stop me from biting my husband’s head off or from consuming all the left-over Halloween candy!!! Write on, Wendy!!!

  • 77. noreply@blogger.com (L'oCCA)  |  November 15th, 2007 at 8:05 am

    Thanks for the giggle.

    You know, as a xx marketer complete with all the monthly demon alien body-mind hijakings, I think I can understand P&G’s attempt at product brilliance…

    Is it just in the acclaimed Poway, CA public school district, or are schools everywhere blaring “Make it a great day. Or not. The choice is yours” messages on loudspeakers? I can see coming into some hideously boring brand meeting after dropping the kids off at school and trying to infuse some of that pollyanna positivity into a less-than-lovely (even if you have embraced your wommanness) product.

    The only way the “Make it a Happy Period” message could really fly (current wings notwithstanding) is if the geniouses in R&D did something to the pad to actually make you happy. How about a little xanax that gets absorbed by the blood stream? What would that process be called medically, anyway? “Subclitoral”? Now, there’s something to stick on the marketing whiteboard!

    Oh shit, should I have patented this brilliance before posting?

    ;-)

  • 78. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  November 16th, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    The letter was classic. Grade A comedy. I was rolling.

    That said…

    It’s your effen period. It doesn’t really matter what is written on your denial devices. You’re still going to take it personally.

    What do you really want it to say?
    “Look! You’re bleeding!
    …AGAIN!”

    Or perhaps a mixed fruit message to bring out whatever is in you.

    “Can’t you just smell it?”

    Or why not just some cutting honesty from the vendor.

    “As long as you’re buying, we’re in it for the long haul. So, when your periods dry up, be sure and check our facial hair remover.”

    I don’t know if they can attach a coupon to the sticky or not…but that might help take your mind off of things. Hell, they could probably just put the words “On Sale” in big white letters with red backing on a peel off and it would still serve its purpose. And half of you would still find a reason to complain.

    Don’t get me wrong. I think the PSA-ish messages might be of service. Then again, they may just incite those kinds of activities. That’s all this world needs is a “my maxi made me do it” written excuse to couple ideas with the already present hormonal imbalance.

    Ever tell someone to have a nice day and mean it, but unfortunately that person isn’t having a nice day and isn’t in the mood to change that on account of your best wishes?

    Then again, perhaps the ad does exactly what it’s supposed to do…

    As long as women are moaning about personal abuse and neglect ala perceptual advertising, they’re leaving the rest of us the f— alone. Personally, I applaud the marketing campaign. It’s helping to make the world a better place for everyone else.

  • 79. noreply@blogger.com (Maddy)  |  November 29th, 2007 at 2:04 am

    I linked from FDL, being a man with three sisters, a mother, a mother in law, an ex wife(we are strangely enough good friends), two daughters I fully realize that I better get my ass out of the way in some safe place with locks on the door when things start getting dangerous.
    Thank you so much for the laugh, I would say I feel your pain but I know which side of the bread the butter is on.

  • 80. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  December 3rd, 2007 at 11:29 am

    or there’s always this perspective:

    Mr. Thatcher,

    I am writing in regard to your oh-so-cute little slogan on the backs of your Always maxi-pads, “Have a Happy Period”. Are you aware that for millions of women dealing with infertility, there is NOTHING happy about getting a period? That it is just a painful reminder that yet another month has gone by that we have not conceived a child? That it is another month closer to menopause and the possibility of never having a child of our own? That it’s a slap in our faces that the thousands of dollars we just spent on infertility treatment just went down the drain? That the drugs, countless vaginal ultrasounds, needles and surgery we went through just to harvest some eggs was for nothing?

    Let me tell you how “thrilled” I was to read your little message this morning, as dear old Aunt Flo arrived with a vengeance 5 days after receiving the news that my Frozen Embryo Transfer did not work and I was not pregnant. Let me tell you how “happy” I was when Aunt Flo arrived after both of my miscarriages. This was after laying out thousands upon thousands of dollars on two In-Vitro Fertilization cycles just to get pregnant to begin with.

    Perhaps you can market some maxi-pads for the infertility set. Here are some ideas, free of charge: “Better Luck Next Time”, “Keep Trying”, “Sorry….so, so sorry”, or “Maybe you should adopt”.

    Or perhaps you can just not have a message on them at all.

    Warmest Regards,

    Ima Barren

  • 81. noreply@blogger.com (Jessica)  |  December 15th, 2007 at 10:49 am

    This is soooo true. A friend sent this to me after I had spent all afternoon, evening, and the next morning in bed with cramps. Truly, I feel like to have someone say “Have a Happy Period” right as you are reaching over to pull out a new pad (after dealing with the mess), trying not to puke because of the pain, and wishing it was all over, is DEFINITELY adding insult to injury. I mean come on, how happy would guys be to be bleeding from anywhere for 5 or more days. “Have a happy nosebleed,” does that make sense to you?

  • 82. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  December 19th, 2007 at 3:38 pm

    I laughed out loud while reading this. It was just sent to me in an email and I had to google to see if it was real. HILARIOUS!!!!!

    I am subscribing to your blog!

  • 83. noreply@blogger.com (Tony)  |  December 20th, 2007 at 12:52 am

    Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

    My partner has shown me her pads with this message on them and thought WTF were they thinking???

    My second thought was “Only a male can be that dum to put such absolute nonsense on such a product”… ( I am a male BTW)

    I work in the medical field so am well aware how painfull a time it can be (not to mention my 65 nieces and aunties), also my wonderful partner can be testy during this time – my point you wonder? This James Thatcher caracter cannot be married (or have a female partner for that matter, in his life in the past) otherwise he would have thought twice about that bungle…

    I still cant believe how silly some people can be when it comes to marketing…

    Have you had a personal reply as yet from this chap?

    Once again Bravo on your letter!

  • 84. noreply@blogger.com (Seanette)  |  January 18th, 2008 at 9:06 pm

    Great letter, Wendi! I just wonder why the [bleep] things have to have ANY message at all? (And I hate those idiot wings, too. They stick to my skin better than they do to my underwear, and the hair-pulling really hurts!) Obviously, P&G failed to consult any actual women on this one.

  • 85. noreply@blogger.com (Punkinhead)  |  January 18th, 2008 at 10:38 pm

    Thank you so much Wendi! I laughed, I cried! Jon Stewart should hire you to write for him. Or maybe Amy Sedaris.

    So I’m in bed tonight, savoring a little Dove dark chocolate, and I read the sweet comment inside the wrapper: “Don’t think about it so much”. And I’ve decided Dove chocolate sayings could be interchangable with Always Maxi-pad sayings.

    There’s always this alternative: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=8705285

  • 86. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  January 23rd, 2008 at 6:17 am

    To which Mr. Thatcher replies:

    Dear Ms. Aarons,
    Thank you for your insightful feedback concerning our subliminal advertising as printed on our products. In review of this oversight, I have discussed with our Marketing division, to amend this insensitive ad copy. Starting in the next few months we will be adopting a new campaign similar to what Mars Candy has done with their very own M&M’s brand of candy! Soon you will be able to print special “personal” captions on this product by going to our new website…

    http://www.alwayspmsing.com

    May we offer this new personal service to help you get through this very difficult and uncomfortable period in a woman’s life. It’s free and you’ll be able to add whatever caption you wish. May we suggest the following:

    “Can’t touch this!”
    “Back off, I’m more than pissed”
    “Hang on, give me a sec to load this thing…”
    “Say one more stupid thing and I’ll make Lorrana Bobett look like a princess”

    and our ever popular one, Inspired by you!:

    “Let me know how long to leave your balls in the George Forman Grill”

    We hope you’ll find this new service both creative and enlightening. It’s certainly our goal to be as accommodating as the needs of our customers demand.

    Sincerly.
    Mr. Dickhead

  • 87. noreply@blogger.com (jerseygirlnky)  |  January 31st, 2008 at 4:17 am

    Well, the period may not be a happy time, but at least you can be happy in knowing you are protected as well as you say you are with their brand of maxi pads. I think too big a deal was made of this whole thing…but it did make me laugh…yet another thing to be happy about I guess!

  • 88. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  January 31st, 2008 at 2:55 pm

    hahahahaha that’s amazing! i use always myself and cringe whenever i open the pad and take that off of the wings of the pad. I’m amazed that you wrote that to him, that’s amazing!

  • 89. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 1st, 2008 at 1:33 pm

    Someone should tell this guy, no uterus, no opinion!!

  • 90. noreply@blogger.com (rea)  |  February 5th, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    Fantastic. Our office also loved it. My husband is probably going to make me get a tattoo that says Put Down The Hammer…

    I’m pleased to see that you are a real person :-)

    Rock on!

  • 91. noreply@blogger.com (Anasta)  |  February 9th, 2008 at 6:19 am

    I applaud you on your letter! There is not a woman out there who feels differently from the words you used to express a “Happy Period”. I’ll be passing this email around to spread the good word!

  • 92. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 11th, 2008 at 10:46 am

    This was so perfect. It’s been a long time since something e-mailed to me actually had me laughing out loud!

    I had to share it with my husband who works at P&G here in Cincinnati. He’s passing it around his office where several people who used to work in the FemCare Division.

  • 93. noreply@blogger.com (Tricia)  |  February 11th, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    Great letter! I had to link to it from my blog! :) The thing I don’t get is I’ve worked in consumer products marketing in the past and stuff like this goes through tons of consumer concept testing before it ever hits production. So what women were they testing this slogan on and what the hell was wrong with them that they didn’t all say a resounding NO WAY?

  • 94. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 13th, 2008 at 1:46 pm

    Well thankfully I am post menopausal now… and I say thankfully because the only HAPPY PERIOD I ever got was when I was single and found that I did not get accidentally pregnant, or after I was married, learning how to hit the period button on my keyboard rather than the comma button. Amazing isn’t it that men are such experts on female hemmoraging on a montly basis. What kind of maxi pad ,James, would you design for the tip of the male penis to make this a HAPPY MALE experience? Hmmm.. now THERE’S a real aerodynamic quandry. If you figure that out, or better yet how to turn this lovely HAPPY time of the month for all women into a MALE experience that we can all celebrate together,, well.. jiminy..I bet you could run for President, ( of the USA, Not of P&G) and WIN! In fact I bet you could petiton to be GOD !! Since it is SUCH a happy time for all of us women I really am sure that the country, hell, the world, would agree with me that we should ALL be able to experience it and CELEBRATE it and have designated HAPPY PERIOD national holidays! Gosh.. wouldn’t that be awesome?? What a platform to base your campaign upon.. I know I would vote for you and I am a democrat for heaven’s sake.. takes a lot to sway me from the good old boys side but for that alone,I could be swayed and without regret.. in fact I think we could make T-shirts to celebrate you AND the Happy Times ! What do you think James? Could you get some of your men on that t-shirt design before the next time of the month rolls around? Or barring that.. LADIES.. all of you ( not working for P&G obviously)who have acknowledged the genius letter written by Wendy from texas..what do you think about us all ganging.. ooopppsss , I mean grouping together and coming up with a wearable campaing all our female own, seeking some empathetic financing and producing the above mentioned?? I personally think we are on to something here.. lets make some money off the $8 per month none of us will be spending anymore.. email me at chook_chook2001@yahoo.com
    Meanwhile James, like I said, I am writing this PAST my HAPPY PERIOD days, so I am not raging with a shotgun, only a keyboard where I can actually find the period button.. HAPPILY! Cheers!

  • 95. noreply@blogger.com (Tam)  |  February 13th, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    Quote from anonymous…

    Rock on sister! Any moron who puts the words “happy” and “period” next to each other in a sentence deserves to be nuetered!!!

    I must remember to redraft a Picasso article accordingly.

  • 96. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 13th, 2008 at 8:11 pm

    I read the letter. And then I read the comments. And suddenly I no longer feel alone in the world.

  • 97. noreply@blogger.com (Erik)  |  February 14th, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    Well done. As a male I was immediately skeptical of this being a hoax or urban myth. Once I realized it was no such thing I went looking for the ad campaign and when I saw it I was baffled by the lack of insight Proctor & Gamble obviously have.

    This is quite possibly one of the most inane marketing schemes I have seen.

    On behalf of sane men (the few of us there are) great letter.

    And to any other fabulously idiotic marketing teams out there…think about what you advertise BEFORE you have a go at it…okay?

  • 98. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 15th, 2008 at 1:12 am

    Absolutely brilliant.

  • 99. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 15th, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    Thank you so much for making me laugh my ass off as I read this letter. I so agreee with a previous post that the “have a happy period” comment is akin to writing “happy bowel movement” on the side of Prep H boxes….get real! Truly hysterical and brilliant!!!

  • 100. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 16th, 2008 at 8:40 am

    Get on the pill and you barely know you have a period…For me it’s just a 4 day thing that’s a slight pain in the a**. No pain.

  • 101. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 16th, 2008 at 11:15 am

    Little F-16′s in your pants there Wendi???—sounds like “highway to the danger zone”…Great bit & lots of laughs–keep up the fine writing–I’ll keep reading.

  • 102. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 18th, 2008 at 2:02 pm

    yea, like we enjoy having our periods. Of course, for those that enjoy men’s company, it might bring happiness for not being pregnant. Or for some of course, sadness.
    But sometimes I wanna stick a vaccuum up there and pull it all out. I get laughs at home when I’m all crampy from my brother. Some family members complain if I leave the discarded tapes lying around. Yet, they leave the seat up!!
    I don’t mind having pads exist that work, but I seldom ever had a happy period.

  • 103. noreply@blogger.com (Inga)  |  February 18th, 2008 at 2:41 pm

    You rule. I think Always should have a contest to allow women to write in suggestions for comments to be written on in the inside of their maxi pads. We could storm the lobby of their corporate office, week after week for a month, with sign-up sheets so that every week it’s a group of women who are all on their periods at the same time.

    Or maybe pms week would be better, seeing as I’d rather sit on a lounge chair in my sweats in their lobby than protest.

    Which might also be a good idea… A lounge chair and sweats sit-in outside their corporate office. Complete with chocolate, salty snacks, and sawed-off shotguns.

    Let’s discuss.

  • 104. noreply@blogger.com (Miss X)  |  February 26th, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    If they put out some pads marked “Put down the hammer,” I would totally buy those.

    SO funny. Thanks for an out loud belly laugh.

  • 105. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 27th, 2008 at 8:12 am

    I am so proud of you for speakin out. I watched commericials plenty of times and always wonder why the hell these girls are so happy running on the beach and doing things like if she ain’t in any sort of pain or her mind ain’t has f**k up as mine. I know for a fact when I am on my period I am a different kind of women and sometimes I bleed so much I need to wear a tampon and a pad at the same time.

  • 106. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 28th, 2008 at 9:49 pm

    I’m a man who has worked in a females profession (is there such a thing) as an RN. And, I always told my co-workers, “Thank God I was born a man”.
    Thought the letter was a scream and my wife had to read it too.

  • 107. noreply@blogger.com (Knit+i+tron)  |  February 29th, 2008 at 7:20 am

    men are fucking morons.

    even during pregnancy scares – no period is happy. its hell. you’re bleeding for god’s sake – whats so special about that.

    maybe they should include lotto tickets in them instead of patronizing statements….

  • 108. noreply@blogger.com (Marlene)  |  February 29th, 2008 at 9:30 am

    OMG!!!!! I sent a link for this to all my female friends. I want my hubby to read it but he’s a neanderthal and can’t read and won’t get it like most men. If ya can’t tell from that I’m sporting a f16 starting today. GRRRRRRR. My hubby is cowering in the corner. lol. Great comentary on how stupid advertising can really be. Marlene

  • 109. noreply@blogger.com (Jan)  |  February 29th, 2008 at 10:23 am

    Preach it Sista!!!
    How deliciously, magnificently well said. Although my uterus is long gone – I almost felt cramps while reading – probably from laughing my fool head off…
    You are a precious gal.
    Jan

  • 110. noreply@blogger.com (Jan)  |  February 29th, 2008 at 10:27 am

    P.S. on a serious note you should have asked them to put
    Emergency # For Immediate HELP
    Trafficking Information & Referral Hotline 1.888.3737.888
    Women who are trafficked into the sex trade use pads too…
    Jan again

  • 111. noreply@blogger.com (KatinCleveland)  |  February 29th, 2008 at 10:32 am

    Wendi,

    This letter is amazing. Thank you. I, too, would much prefer “put down the hammer” to “have a happy period.” Being able to tear off that adhesive backing strip and seeing something humorous would definitely make me feel better.

  • 112. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 29th, 2008 at 11:07 am

    i didn’t read all of the various comments, so sorry if I am repeating someone else’s.

    I recommend to you and all other women with their periods to get a diva cup. It is a soft silicone cup which makes a perfect seal inside you and catches your period. I only have to empty it/check it twice a day. There is no chance of Toxic shock syndrome, it’s clean, easy, and you cheap! you buy one once ($35) and can use it for 10 years or more. All my friends have ones now and love them too! Check out divacup.com for more information if you so desire!
    good luck!

  • 113. noreply@blogger.com (Lissa Jane)  |  March 1st, 2008 at 2:18 am

    Oh my god, I am nearly peeing myself here.. fancy a bloke being in charge of womens business?????? and secret womens business too.. the bastars.. our pads in Australia have interesting facts printed on the back.. I mean, how can you tell in company an interesting fact.. your friend says ‘where did you hear that?’ my reply is ‘Oh from the Libra institute, the disposable encyclopedia’….
    I’ll be sure to come back and visit your blog, you are a HOOT and a CLASSIC

    Lissa
    I hate the ads too, who feels like scuba diving, swimming, sky diving etc when you feel like your innards are being squeezed in a vice…

  • 114. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 3rd, 2008 at 10:56 am

    http://www.thegrumble.com/attachment.php?attachmentid=1299&d=1204569347

  • 115. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 3rd, 2008 at 8:41 pm

    This is so very funny! and brilliantly written, I could imagine you writing about all sorts of everyday situations with great humour and wit, BUT!!!!!!!and here is the BUT!! the “brains” behind this ‘have a happy period’ campaign knew what they were doing!!! look at the response!!!! their idea worked

  • 116. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 4th, 2008 at 6:55 am

    Dear James,

    I’m guessing a man made the happy period commercial because I can’t think of one women that would tell you they have a happy period. I personally use always maxi pads and nope can’t remember one time I was happy. What were you thinking.

  • 117. noreply@blogger.com (Kari C in SC)  |  March 5th, 2008 at 12:59 pm

    Oh my goodness! I loved this! Absolutely hysterical! Thank you so much for making my day.

  • 118. noreply@blogger.com (Melissa)  |  March 5th, 2008 at 4:09 pm

    Their new slogan should be “Men don’t suffer enough.”
    Way to go, Wendi! : )

  • 119. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 5th, 2008 at 5:09 pm

    Thank you, Wendi! I actually swore at the powers that be, knowing that they be men, when I first saw that ridiculous message on my maxi pad. Being peri-menopausal, having unbearable cramps and a heavy flow that resembled a murder scene, I was just outraged at the “Have a happy period” message. A stream of obscenities flew from my mouth that would have made a sailor blush. I immediately called my sister, who has had a hysterectomy (lucky her) and blew off some steam about that insane message. I could just picture “the guys” sitting in a large conference room, around the table, and trying to find their feminine sides which led them to come up with such assholery. Thank you for saying it all for me and for all women who don’t find this time of the month to be particularly happy.

  • 120. noreply@blogger.com (kryx)  |  March 6th, 2008 at 11:45 pm

    There is joy in getting a period actually.

    Particularly for people who are trying NOT to get pregnant.

    And their “fail-safe” method(s) failed.

    ;)

    But this was a very amusing post.

  • 121. noreply@blogger.com (Dy)  |  March 8th, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    You totally made my day!! Many thanks!!!

  • 122. noreply@blogger.com (Jesse Edwards)  |  March 10th, 2008 at 11:24 am

    Very true! The only happiness in my period is the fact that since I’m not trying to get pregnant, I’m not. Other than that though…yes I could forever live without someone telling me to have a happy period. Especially now know that it comes from a man!

  • 123. noreply@blogger.com (Candace)  |  March 10th, 2008 at 3:50 pm

    Just got your letter attached to an email…quit funny. Did you really send it? It put a much needed smile on my face :-)

  • 124. noreply@blogger.com (Dan)  |  March 13th, 2008 at 4:18 am

    Excellent; totally fabulous. Great writing and fabulous wit. It is our duty — woman and man — to let the air out of inflated middle management and idiotic marketing mumbleheads.

    That said, I do propose a follow-up to this letter, along this line: “Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have reconsidered my views about giving up your product forever. If you would kindly replace each ‘Have a Nice Period’ notice with a prescription and coupon for 12 free tablets of Vicodin, I will reconsider becoming a customer.”

    Regards,
    Dan

  • 125. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 14th, 2008 at 5:19 pm

    This was the perfect letter. When I saw that “Have a Happy Period” I was ready to kill the dumb ass that thought it was a good idea. Way to go Wendi, I could not have said it any better.

    Thank you so much

  • 126. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 15th, 2008 at 10:00 am

    Woooooow. That is so true. I am always fighting the urge to kill k=just any man I see if not a certain one for no reason. I have never used Always (due to my high dislike of how they fit my body and make me feel so uncomfortable) but still, “Happy Period?” IS THAT MAN OUT OF HIS LITTLE MIND?!?! I mean seriosuly, the woman has a point, something she said would have been not only better fit but probably a tad funnier maybe by chance calming our sadistic thoughts. Thus another reason wshy I will never use Always. Hip-hip-hooray for Kotex!

  • 127. noreply@blogger.com (uncail ruadh)  |  March 16th, 2008 at 1:48 am

    Your letter was truly funny! I always amazes me to discover how disconnected some corporate types are from real people.

    What’s next Advil presents http://www.migrainemirth.com – with “Advil- we put the mirth back in migraines”?

    Or Pepto Bismal advertising, “Now with Bazooka Joe on the label- we’re the only diarrhea treatment with riddles, brain teasers, and quips on the label to keep you happy while you’re feeling crappy”

  • 128. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 19th, 2008 at 8:34 pm

    Hey, sister, relax! Maybe it WOULD be nice if you could have a happy period? Your period is a sign of a healthy body. Ever think about that? After a hysterectomy for cancer, I have been in menopause since my twenties. Don’t like cramps? Try vaginal dryness, now that is a lovely sensation. I’d love to have a happy period again. Maybe you all could try yoga, meditation, ibuprofen, taking a walk, hanging out with a friend, or just being grateful and counting your blessings. You sound so angry and hateful and self-righteous. So, goodbye— I would say, “have a great day”, but I don’t want to offend anyone & lighten up, no pun intended.

  • 129. noreply@blogger.com (Banana)  |  March 27th, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    I keep getting this letter forwarded to me in my email, so I thought I should google something about it just to see if it is true or another one of those baby rattlesnakes in the ball-pit things.

    I am SO GLAD, so very very glad that you are REAL! I knew you had to be!

  • 130. noreply@blogger.com (Radhika)  |  March 29th, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    OH.MY.GAWD…I thought I was the only one who ever saw that, like seriousl “Have a happy period?” What the fuck was this guy on when he decided that…well I can say that the guy hasn’t gotten any in a LOOOOONG time ever since he freaking used that slogan since really…what woman wants to shag a bloke who thinksthey can have a “happy” period.
    Seriously, your in too much pain to walk, you’ve thrown up 2 times already in the day from pain, you can’t even keep fucking ICE CREAM down (yes this has happened to me), your head is spinning, you’re on the verge of crying your eyes out, you want to gut yourself, and your hormones are going insane…so that said your sitting there having to clean up a disgusting mess, then u reach for a new pad which is SUPPOSED to make you feel BETTER and FRESHER, and ALL you can zero in on…is “Have a happy period” written…20 times…across the backing. Does Thatcher know how many women want to rip out his intestines and hang him with them…i think we might all have a (not happy) DECENT period if they handed that little freak over to us to deal with.
    Most of you shoul feel a little better than me though, I’m assuming your older than I am what with talk of husbands, you only have a few more years girls…you can do it…and I…am 17…woo for me i have about 30 or more years left…fucking YAY…
    Wendi you are seriously one of the most amazing people ever, please keep writing.

  • 131. noreply@blogger.com (crysatl)  |  April 3rd, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    Wendi,
    You are hysterical!! I received the letter from my sister, who sent it to many of her friends and I had my 15 year old daughter read it…..she totally busted out laughing ……….”Aunt Flo” gets her bad each month!!! It really made our week!!!!!!! You are funny!! It’s sooooooooo true, men just do not get it!!!

  • 132. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 4th, 2008 at 10:11 am

    ha ha ha hah ahahahahahahah

  • 133. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 4th, 2008 at 3:05 pm

    Wow …cool letter ….after reading the comments ..ya know why not put a coupon for some ice cream or something in one of the pads…anything to try and make it a better week…..

  • 134. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 10th, 2008 at 6:15 pm

    I love a girl who knows how to suffer. Call me. I just know we’ll be happy together.
    ps if you think you’ve suffered before, wait till our first date!

  • 135. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 17th, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    I don’t agree. Yeah it’s a funny little letter, but come ON women! Get control of yourselves and your bodies! You got PMS? Deal with it. Get your hormones balanced. Change your diet. See a doctor. Quit using PMS as an excuse to stuff your face with sugar, moan about how miserable you feel and fly off into a rage because you grown adult women don’t feel the need to control yourselves. Acting like lunatics and then reveling in it like it’s your RIGHT makes women look weak, pathetic and untrustworthy.
    Using your period as an excuse to be a total bitch is ridiculous. And yeah, I’m a woman. Yeah I get periods. It’s a fact of life– deal with it and stop making yourselves look like total nutjobs every month

  • 136. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 17th, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    This was read on a radio morning show I listen to just a couple days ago! Everyone was calling in to say how hilarious it was, and I have to say, I nearly ran off the road listening to it.

    Kudos! Thanks for the laughs!

  • 137. noreply@blogger.com (mia)  |  April 19th, 2008 at 7:53 am

    I don’t use Always maxis but I’m sure that would piss me off everytime – especially sitting in the possition you’re in when you have to use it. G-double o-d-j-o-b, good job, good job.

  • 138. noreply@blogger.com (Gypsy)  |  April 22nd, 2008 at 5:22 pm

    The post was great and so spot on! It gets better however. There is a new print ad campaign “Put leaks to bed” with a maxi pad as a bed complete with purple blanket, nightstand and light. Bla bla bla copy ended with “Sweet Dreams” and the tagline of course ‘Have a happy period”

    The marketing geniuses strike again.

  • 139. noreply@blogger.com (Corrina)  |  April 23rd, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    I don’t remember the last time I laughed that hard!! EVERY time I see those ridiculous commercials telling me to have a HAPPY PERIOD, I want to climb a water tower with a rifle and pick people off like beer cans.

    If it weren’t for 800 mg ibuprofen, I would be all over the news.

  • 140. noreply@blogger.com (Sandi)  |  April 24th, 2008 at 9:14 am

    OMG this was laugh out loud funny! Those days are finally gone for me – thank God!

  • 141. noreply@blogger.com (Diane)  |  April 29th, 2008 at 5:43 pm

    In agreement…. Now that I am facing the end of Aunt Flo or as some women(girls) would call it My Friend, which I could never understood because it is not my friend. With friends like that who needs enemies. You tell it like it is. There is nothing to be happy about. The bloating, the craziness and crying even drives me crazy. Only a man could write something like that. Sorry was that sexist. No matter, Wendy, thank you, thank you for telling it like it is. I couldn’t stop laughing. Oh, by the way the wings don’t really work.

  • 142. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  May 5th, 2008 at 9:42 am

    Dear God, I started the day before my (college) finals and was ready to kill everybody I saw, honestly, who can study in this condition? Then I consoled myself by watching a LOT of television, when that commercial came on I nearly bust one! Oddly enough I got this letter emailed to me not two hours later.

  • 143. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  May 23rd, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    This is true and a reflection on how you should never trust a man to do a woman’s job! I am a PR and communications major and the slogan “have a happy period” is a classic example of careless and sloppy advertising and brand management, not to mention condescending on the part of males towards women’s health and issues in general. Your letter was very well written. Thanks.

    Much respect
    Masroora

  • 144. noreply@blogger.com (Angela)  |  June 12th, 2008 at 5:36 pm

    You, Wendi, are a hero amongst women. Your letter is the best thing to come out of that inane ad campaign. I mean really, whats to be happy about? Maybe the first time, when my grandmother proceeded to call all our relatives (male and female) to let them know that I was a woman now? Or the time I leaked right through my useless Always pad during PE, where our sadist of a teacher had us crawling around on the floor? Oh, the nicknames that ensued. Or perhaps the time I was on vacation with my family, and wasn’t allowed to go in the hotel pool because my mother thought I was a bit too young to start using tampons. And that was just the beginning, it’s been downhill from there. I won’t even get into the eighteen months my husband and I were trying to conceive our son.

    Let me tell ya, if the ‘Have a happy period’ slogan had been around back then, someone’s head would have rolled. I needed a ‘Have a shot of whiskey and coupon for ovulation predictors’ message, not that sort of garbage.

    So thank you. The group of idiots who got together and decided that would make a good slogan should be taken out back and flogged.

  • 145. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  June 20th, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    I know having the period is no picnic, but sometimes I feel that some women overeact. It’s not the end of the world. I have had terrible periods, even hemorrhages when all I wanted to do was lie in bed and sleep, because of the loss of blood, but I think some women overreact and think of it as the time of the month when they can be bitchy and get away with it.

  • 146. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  June 25th, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    “Anonymous said…

    I know having the period is no picnic, but sometimes I feel that some women overeact. It’s not the end of the world. I have had terrible periods, even hemorrhages when all I wanted to do was lie in bed and sleep, because of the loss of blood, but I think some women overreact and think of it as the time of the month when they can be bitchy and get away with it.”

    Well, Anonymous… aren’t we just the little ray of f*cking sunshine!!! It must be hard for you, being a man and all… because the only hemorrhage you’ll ever experience is the one when you get an icepick through your temple!!

  • 147. noreply@blogger.com (Suz)  |  June 27th, 2008 at 7:22 am

    I just received your letter in the form of a chain mail from a friend.
    Not only did it make me laugh long and hard, but it moved me to find out who you are. Great writing,Wendi. I’ve sent your blog
    address to many, many friends.
    Happy Summer!

  • 148. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  July 11th, 2008 at 6:37 am

    OMG this was laugh out loud funny! My days are finally ended
    June 10/ 06 for me – thank God!
    I never thought of myself as being bitchy when i was on mine, but after my surgery…my three daughters broke it to me gently.. and I was blessed to have a supportive husband/family. My poor man just walks when my duaghters begin to act like strangers…but thanks again for making my day with your letter. you are a fantastic writer!!

  • 149. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  July 22nd, 2008 at 2:25 am

    Ooooh :lol: Thank you!
    bibi

  • 150. noreply@blogger.com (Mascha (The Netherlands))  |  August 4th, 2008 at 6:10 am

    And of course there is no way that Always is gonna change their campaign after comments from women. In Holland they’ve put the slogan to new use in their latest campain…. maybe a post to their website from you’re great letter will help… I’ll try.

  • 151. noreply@blogger.com (UnsureExposure)  |  August 10th, 2008 at 8:34 am

    This letter was what originally brought me to your blog. And I’m glad it did. You’re hilarious! :)

  • 152. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  September 29th, 2008 at 8:35 pm

    WAY to good not to comment! i just loved this letter! kudos to you!!!

  • 153. noreply@blogger.com (2Grandmas2)  |  September 29th, 2008 at 8:45 pm

    I haven’t had a period in years but I do have three daughters who still have them. Why, I remember the time (just like it was yesterday), that we all lived in the same house and would up on pretty much the same cycle. It wasn’t pretty. I won’t bore you with the details, but we haven’t seen their father in years (just kidding)(really!)(ok, we’re divorced).

    Have you seen the Always website???? They seem to be pushing forward with this campaign

  • 154. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  September 30th, 2008 at 4:50 am

    Thank you, for “voicing” what the rest of us were thinking!

  • 155. noreply@blogger.com (stefficus)  |  October 14th, 2008 at 2:30 pm

    i really don’t have any trouble with my monthly cycle. i don’t cramp, i don’t mood swing, i very rarely get migraines, i don’t bloat, i’m regular enough to avoid accidents…

    that said: i am BLEEDING from my CROTCH, people. woo, happy. do they understand what pads and tampons are actually used for, or do they think we’re using them to absorb inoffensive blue liquid from a beaker?

    yeah, look at the response. we all know the commercial. but in this case, name recognition means we’re carefully spending our money someplace else. i don’t care how many people are talking about your ad campaign, this is NOT the response that means it’s “working”.

  • 156. noreply@blogger.com (Liz)  |  October 26th, 2008 at 12:30 am

    this is great. I posted it on my blog. You are a very funny writer. I nearly peed in my pants when I read this post. I also forwarded it to just about anyone that I thought would appreciate it.
    Read about your recent trip to the hub of the universe. You got the whole Boston thing down pat. My husband is from there and I lived there for many many years. When we moved to the Northwest it was kinda odd not having people flip you off on the freeway all the time. And it was VERY weird having people say “have a nice day” instead of scowling at you.

  • 157. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  December 11th, 2008 at 6:54 pm

    hahaha….. yes!! This is hillarious.

  • 158. noreply@blogger.com (StephanieG)  |  January 12th, 2009 at 6:23 am

    Wendy, I have forwarded this post to a dozen or more friends, and every time I do, I read it again. Once again, you have saved my day. Maybe even my week. I so needed a laugh first thing this crappy cold Monday morning. Happy period, indeed.

  • 159. noreply@blogger.com (Nancy)  |  January 29th, 2009 at 5:57 pm

    I’ve received a copy of this twice from my girlfriend, and each time I rock with laughter. Thank you for your wit. And you may not have noticed, but they got rid of that little slogan (at least on the Always that I buy). Way to go!

  • 160. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 10th, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    Rock on Sistah! Haven’t seen the message on the pad. I’m in recession mode and by the store brand. I practically peed my pants when I read this. I was cackling so loudly my husband had to come and read it. And he totally agrees about Grey’s Anatomy being written by drunken chimps.

  • 161. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 12th, 2009 at 7:19 pm

    For a woman who doesn’t want babies at this stage of her life, I have to say every month I look forward to my period. I would rather have one week a month of misery than 18 straight years!!

  • 162. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  February 21st, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    THAT WAS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SO TRUE TOO!!!!

  • 163. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 3rd, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    I’ve gotta tell you…I was literally just discovering “Aunt Flo’s visit” a few hours before reading this email so the timing is perfect. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have opened up an Always pad and CURSED at the adhesive backing…

    The only “happy period” I have is the one that comes on the heels of an “oops” session…and that elation lasts maybe two hours tops.

    :-)

  • 164. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  March 10th, 2009 at 7:22 pm

    That was a truly hilarious letter. Great job, and good for you for shedding some light on the half of the human race…..wow, seriously. HAPPY PERIOD, there is an oxymoron if I have ever heard one.

    thanks again!! I will remember it ALWAYS!!

  • 165. noreply@blogger.com (Helen)  |  March 27th, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    the funny thing is that the have a happy period sticker is on the back of the adhesive so when your trying to put that huge pad in your underwear with your legs spread simultaneously trying to keep your ass over the toilet your hit with reading that bullshit

    i love it!!

  • 166. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 13th, 2009 at 10:45 am

    You are brilliant! I think this was one of the times where I actually spit on the computer screen from laughter.

  • 167. noreply@blogger.com (Nina in Ohio)  |  April 14th, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    Maybe now with the power of blogging (combined with email, twitter, etc.) men will start dispensing with the “good old boy network” and actually hire women to market what they know best.

    And take it from a woman about to turn 50 – one day you’ll be menopausal and won’t have to deal with those periods anymore!! You’ll still have the urge to turn homocidal at times, but you’ll just have hot flashes instead of periods! ;-) Can’t wait, can ya?

  • 168. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 22nd, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    ‘Well, Anonymous… aren’t we just the little ray of f*cking sunshine!!! It must be hard for you, being a man and all… because the only hemorrhage you’ll ever experience is the one when you get an icepick through your temple!!”

    Did you even read the comment you were responding to? Her stating
    “I have had terrible periods, even hemorrhages when all I wanted to do was lie in bed and sleep, because of the loss of blood” must surely trigger some sense of recognition that it was a woman leaving the comment.

    On the bright side, with an angry, partially illiterate approach to people, no one will ever know then difference once your cycle hits.

    Wendi – Wonderful post, it brought some cheer into a day where I am otherwise thoroughly exhausted.

  • 169. noreply@blogger.com (pjr959)  |  April 24th, 2009 at 7:28 am

    Go Girl, this letter was and is too funny. I am now 50 years old, don’t remember ever having a Happy Peiod, ALWAYS (no punn intended)had PMS and now experiencing the sweet perimenopause years. Mr. Thatcher perhaps you need to hire Wendi to produce your television commercials…..Women all over the world would not only be laughing their ass off but your sales would probably skyrocket! Think about it.
    Pam Reid Nova Scotia

  • 170. noreply@blogger.com (You Could Win A Home!)  |  April 26th, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    Wendi may indeed be this generations Erma Bombeck — and this is the greatest compliment I can bestow upon an author of this genre. Keep on keepin’ on and I hope to see an anthology soon.

  • 171. noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous)  |  April 30th, 2009 at 9:02 am

    :) Have a happy period indeed! I bet that ad was put togeher to encourage men to go out and buy the product to present to the females in their life…..evil laugh here.. cant you just see the repucussions of that one?
    Well ! way to go girl!

  • 172. noreply@blogger.com (Mama Dawg)  |  May 1st, 2009 at 7:56 am

    I would totally, totally, totally throw my consumerism behind any feminine product that actually gave sound advice like you described. I think any company that did that would show profits through the roof!

  • 173. noreply@blogger.com (tekgreg)  |  May 1st, 2009 at 8:30 am

    Proctor & Gamble better blow this up to three feet high, frame it and have it read by every manager that works in the department! Until women do exactly what this letter suggests and vote with their wallets, idiocy like this will continue to ooze from corporate America while they roll in the profits. Bravo to you for delivering this notice to not tolerate their applied idiocy with such aplomb! Keep up the good work while we await Proctor & Gamble's witty reply.

  • 174. noreply@blogger.com (Warinda)  |  May 3rd, 2009 at 6:22 pm

    Fucking hilarious and eloquently put!

  • 175. noreply@blogger.com (Menstration Magician)  |  May 16th, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    Wendi…Congrats on the ‘call to arms’…or pads as it may be. Funny we should run into each other. So…since you are now on the open market so-to-speak…I was wondering if wouldn’t mind having a look at this. We have a product, just released to the USA market…that has been designed to hopefully help women during those ‘troubled’ times. Earth friendly anion technology built into plastic-free women’s sanitary napkins. It’s brilliant really, and the quality is at it’s finest…combating together with women to bring a little ‘comfort’ throughout her most ‘uncomfortable’ time. This company most certainly ‘gets it’. Thanks for the laughs by the way!
    http://www.abundant-life-strategies.com or email me direct at dan@abundant-life-strategies.com

  • 176. Carol  |  June 1st, 2009 at 11:18 am

    AMEN SISTER AMEN!!!

  • 177. Lillie Jennings  |  June 12th, 2009 at 12:16 am

    Hi Wendy,
    I found your blog while looking up a simular topic. May I have your permission to use this blog while I am presenting health care to women? The information I am presenting can be found on my website–www.NoMoreTaboo.com. Or email me at ebiz@jenv.ws.
    Thanks, Lillie

  • 178. Lil  |  June 25th, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    You are my new hero.

  • 179. J  |  July 1st, 2009 at 7:31 pm

    To whoever it was who suggested the Diva cup…

    I can think of a million things I would rather do (get a root canal being one of them) than pour out, clean, and store a diaphragm-style cup that holds mentrual flow. The thought of that stuff sloshing around inside a hunk of rubber stuck to my cervix is utterly repugnant. Not to mention…what happens if it springs a leak? Do you get 12 hours of flow gushing down your legs like Angel Falls? I personally go through a super absorbency tampon every two hours on my heavy days. How f*cking stupid would I have to be to put that much faith in a clorified chunk of tupperware?

    Oh, and your lame attempt to disguise your viral marketing as a legitimate comment is annoying. Go away.

  • 180. Sara  |  July 1st, 2009 at 8:14 pm

    I just about died of laughter reading this.
    This is so true.
    Thank you so much.

    You are amazing. :)

  • 181. Joy  |  July 1st, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    I followed a link from cakewrecks.blogspot.com and found you. Best. Find. Ever. I too have had that What the F*** moment when advised to “have a happy period” in the bathroom, and as someone who is having quite possibly the worst 1st day of her period RIGHT NOW, I completely commiserate with your sentiments! I am bookmarking this page right….now! Thanks.

  • 182. Tina  |  July 2nd, 2009 at 9:11 am

    I’ll tell ya. I hate those things. Makes me sick that they even call them “Always”. I mean can you imagine having your period always? I’d shoot myself. Actually I’m due soon and as a matter of fact I had a crying spell on the train. The tears were rolling down my eyes but you know something, it felt good. I take antidepressants for my PMS because it’s so bad. But you know what is the worst in the world to have? Fibroids. For an entire 7 days before my period, I get so horny I can’t stand it. The fibroids feed off the cycle and press on my bladder and you know what and its torturous. If I had it my way, I’d stay home for that entire week and just have sex the whole time. Damn I wish I was rich, I’d hire a guy one week a month. I’d paid him a shit load of money too and I’m not kidding either. Screw that. Oh God, I can feel the egg cracking. Have a good day. I hate pads.

  • 183. Rachael  |  July 2nd, 2009 at 11:54 am

    that’s just freakin’ HILARIOUS!!! “have a happy period” yeah, RIGHT! lol. did you really send it? i hope so…. :D

  • 184. ang  |  July 2nd, 2009 at 11:59 am

    That was a fantastic display of creative writing!! I thoroughly enjoyed myself… one LOL phase is good, multiple LOL’s deserve recognition! My hats of to you me lady!

  • 185. Elizabeth  |  July 2nd, 2009 at 12:04 pm

    Okay, that last comment… TMI. thanks.

    Want happier periods? Go on birth control. That way, you can (gasp) even skip periods! And if you don’t want to skip them, at least you’ll have a lighter flow and less (possibly no) cramps!

  • 186. WolfenM  |  July 2nd, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    XD Considering my last period almost killed me — lost over 6 units of blood — I most heartily agree that periods are not happy happenstances. In fact, if having a hysterectomy was something that didn’t require having cancer or a similar problem first (as was my case), I would heartily recommend the procedure!

  • 187. Dawn S  |  July 2nd, 2009 at 4:32 pm

    “Put down the hammer” HAHAHAHHA!! Love it! Thanks!

  • 188. Jenny  |  July 2nd, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    You are a genius!

  • 189. Cheryl  |  July 2nd, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    Elizabeth, going on birth control doesn’t reduce cramps or lighten flow or stop periods for everyone. For some, birth control just barely keeps us to normal flows and is used to treat even worse symptoms. So while it may sound like the easy solution to you, it’s not a magic cure all.

    My boyfriend sent me this link because he thought it was pretty funny after noticing the link on cake wrecks. It is a damn funny letter. :) I love people who can keep their sense of humor in the face of the ridiculous.

    PS: I hate those stupid wings. They don’t really help, despite the cool new F16 noises I could make as I ran around in white shorts on the beach…

  • 190. Chaotic Kerri  |  July 3rd, 2009 at 5:57 am

    Just found your letter through another blog site. Awesome nearly fell off my chair laughing so much.

  • 191. Reena  |  July 3rd, 2009 at 4:53 pm

    This was brilliant! My husband came from the second floor to our lower level to find out why I was laughing so hard. I can’t wait to share this with my friends.

  • 192. Sherri  |  July 3rd, 2009 at 6:14 pm

    That was amazingingly brilliant, funny, and (dare I age myself?) right on! Thank you so much for giving some laughter to this premenopausal lady.
    Side note to Cheryl #189 — some forms of bc often do offer help for truly unhappy periods. I had a Merina coil put in precisely because I had horrible periods, and it reduced them to mere spotting with hardly any cramps. I think the pill often doesn’t do much for heavy periods, but that coil’s been great. Now I just can’t wait for the full change and be done with it altogether! :-)

  • 193. Muffissness  |  July 3rd, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    Honey, didn’t you just prove to a MAN that what comes out of a woman’s mouth during that time of the month, IS TO BE DISMISSED AS HORMONAL NONSENSE?????????

  • 194. Stan  |  July 4th, 2009 at 2:06 am

    That’s wonderful. In fact, in my most humble opinion, that is what life is all about. Bless you.

  • 195. verdilith  |  July 4th, 2009 at 3:36 am

    just came over from the link on cakewrecks – thought you’d be interested to know that they’re using the “have a happy period” slogan here in the UK still! Not to mention the adverts are getting crazier – we now have sanitary towels being pinball machines, and one with little bumper cars on it, which is on youtube for your monitor-smashing perusal.

  • 196. Charlotte  |  July 4th, 2009 at 12:03 pm

    FYI…just thought you all would like to know that when they started the “Have A Happy Period” campaign and were sending out free samples and little gift packs, I received a nice little Post-It note pack that also had those words on it. Not every piece did, however. They did allow you to insert your own “Have a Happy________! Needless to say, this particular stack of Post-It notes found the trash.

  • 197. Jef  |  July 6th, 2009 at 11:19 am

    I really don’t get these ads. If you have a only the slightest bit of empathy and common sense, you should KNOW that this is the worst catch phrase you could ever come up with. It’s like saying to a guy “have a happy kick in the nadgers”…

  • 198. lissie  |  July 6th, 2009 at 6:26 pm

    haha, fantastic! I linked here from another blog and nearly laughed out loud while at work.
    This expressed exactly how I felt the first time I saw the words “have a happy period” written on my pads. What a stupid advertising campaign.
    Thanks

  • 199. Janel  |  July 8th, 2009 at 10:08 pm

    I fuckin hate my period, but I fuckin LOVED your post. Keep writing. <3

  • 200. Kappesli  |  July 10th, 2009 at 1:06 am

    right on!! you made my day. I don’t think ANY women out there feels any different. Who ever thought we would have a happy period while stuffing our faces with fast food and chocolate in order to keep us from going out there and “use the hammer” ?
    I hope you actually did send this letter :-)

  • 201. Herb of Grace  |  July 13th, 2009 at 6:02 pm

    Rock on! This post is awesome!

  • 202. Erin  |  July 13th, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    You want to know the most ridiculous part about this campaign? They had a room full of 20 young women that got to see the plans for the ad campaign before it was launched. Every single one of us said it was horrible. They launched it anyway.

  • 203. Nan Falkner  |  July 14th, 2009 at 5:28 am

    Ah yes, Aunt Flo. I remember her (just barely). I remember having a “hap-pee?” period because: I hadn’t traded the period pads for the pee pads. I was still in my kitchen holding a knife (legally) in my hand knowing I was safe from stupid husband comments like “Gee hon – how long does it take to get me another beer? I could still see my feet when I looked down. I remember Aunt Flo, because after having 4 out of control boys, I knew that she was the proof that sanity had kicked in during the heat of passion when ‘hon’ whispered – “we don’t need a Trojan – I’ll get more on the way home from work.” Aunt Flo – was there before I started sweating in sub zero snow storms thus not needing a scraper to clean my windshield (I just layed across it). And now, that I have tool privilages again, -I don’t need sledge hammers to open locked rooms from my sons. Ah yes – my sons – Now I look at my precious daughters-in-law and think how lucky the boys are that they are familiar with the warning signs of Aunt Flo having survived my ‘youthful experiences with my happy periods.’ Ah, Aunt Flo and Mother Nature – what would we do without them? Oh, by the way ‘hon’ is walking better now and can almost make a complete sentence.

  • 204. Kate  |  July 14th, 2009 at 8:07 pm

    I remember the first time I saw “Have a happy period” on a pad. My first thought was pretty much the same as in this letter. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
    This letter is fantastic.

  • 205. JetpackAngel  |  July 15th, 2009 at 3:17 pm

    Every time I’m under attack by The Red Tide, on the days where the cramping’s at its worst, I always hear the guy from the movie ‘The Three Amigos’ going (in a heavy Spanish accent, in case you’ve never seen the movie) “I’m going to rip open your stomach and pull out your intestines and help you squeeeeeeze the sheeeeeeet out of them!”

    To which I would’ve invariably responded: “No, leave the intestines alone, just take the motherf’in uterus!

    Are there seriously no women in that department in P&G? Anywhere? Well, there should be, at least. A ‘temp’ with an M-4 should do nicely.

  • 206. Lisa  |  July 19th, 2009 at 10:13 pm

    Now you can send an e card to your friend, wishing them a happy period! http://www.beinggirl.com/en_US/happy/pages/index.jsp

  • 207. Reggie  |  July 22nd, 2009 at 2:08 am

    BRILLIANT!!!!!!!

  • 208. Claire  |  July 23rd, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    Why shouldn’t we try to have happy periods? Seems like a pretty harmless ad to me. Maybe not a smart one, but it doesn’t bother me at all.

  • 209. Carolyn  |  July 23rd, 2009 at 8:00 pm

    Gosh, thank you so much for this. I was seriously pissed off when I found that in my pads, too. My husband joked that they should have had two varieties, one for those that are trying for a baby (Better luck next time!), and one for those that aren’t (Happy You’re Not Pregnant Day!).

  • 210. anonymous  |  July 25th, 2009 at 11:37 am

    DIVA CUP.

    I cannot say this enough.
    Diva cup, diva cup, diva cup!!

    Never have to buy tampons or pads again, AND say goodbye to leaks.
    And, of course, never have to read any moronic garbage from male advertising managers again.

    End public service announcement.

  • 211. Janelle  |  July 28th, 2009 at 12:29 am

    I’m honestly shocked and ashamed by most of the comments here. While I definitely have to roll my eyes at a “happy period” tagline, it’s not exactly sending out the best message that women on their periods are hormonal lunatics who can’t even function for the duration of their menstrual cycle. Menstrual periods have existed for just as long as humans have, folks. Before maxi pads, before tampons, before Midol, before heating pads, etc., women had their periods. We have it pretty easy these days, you guys. Yeah it sucks and yeah it’s painful, but as women we are built to withstand that pain. We are built to handle the pain of CHILDBIRTH, for god’s sake. Instead of wallowing in self-pity because of this oh-so-torturous pain we have to suffer with every month, why not try overcoming that pain and proving that we CAN have a happy period because WE are capable of it, NOT because some ad exec tells us to through the use of their products.

  • 212. Alana  |  August 5th, 2009 at 5:27 pm

    I HATE that commercial. I’ve thought about writing them myself, I hate it so much.

  • 213. Clarissa  |  August 12th, 2009 at 11:52 pm

    If my pads said “Put Down the Hammer” or “Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong” I would die laughing. Seriously, that one thing would make my day.

  • 214. Appreciative  |  August 14th, 2009 at 6:58 am

    I can’t believe that this letter has still been circulating throughout the internet years later. I still laugh every time it is forwarded to me.

    Some women obviously haven’t experienced the exCRUSHiating pain other women have felt during their menstral cycle for them to write “We have it pretty easy these days”. Yes, darling, we have protection now, not that it works any, but before, we didn’t have MEN writing stupidity on products only women use. This type of idiotic slogan angers women to the fullest extent.

    I, for one, have experienced PAIN! I have bled externally, internally and for months on end (6 months straight to be exact with no end in site). I finally had to have a hysterectomy – thank GOD for that.

    “Have a Happy Period”. What a load of crock. I applaud Wendi and her ability to write such a perfect letter to an insensitive man. Yup, only a man could have come up with such an obscene slogan. Both tampons and pads (extra long, nighttime, wings) together could not keep my “Happy Period” inside. Anyone and everone around me knew when I had my “Monster”. … and I was NOT allowed to hold a knife whilst on my bad days. Hubby said “No” to that one. lol

  • 215. Amy  |  September 8th, 2009 at 10:22 am

    Janelle’s right. I should look on the bright side and be happy. And I will as soon as I find out which moron thought of putting the inspirational thought for the day in my pads and cram 40 million empty chocolate bar wrappers where Mr. Happy will never find them. Now can we find a product that won’t stick to A) my thigh, or B)itself, creating a little sticky wad wedgie that makes me walk funny?

    Have a happy prostate exam, Mr. Thatcher. :)

  • 216. Sharon  |  September 10th, 2009 at 5:20 am

    Oh my. How I agree with this! A few years ago when the Australian Government was introducing GST, some twit decided that some things didn’t need GST while others did. (eg. Tooth Brushes DO but toothpaste DOES NOT).

    In the discussion process, it was decided that ‘Feminine Hygiene Products WOULD have GST because they are, wait for it, a LUXURY item. SERIOUSLY!!!!!! Hands up ladies which one of you feels really luxurious at that time of the month? Anyone? No, I didn’t think so.

    Yes I realise that women made do without these for thousands of years but we also made do without medicine, schools and and telephones. *sigh* Can you tell it was a male who decided that?

  • 217. Outside Pandora’s B&hellip  |  September 12th, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    [...] viral email from both my mom and my mother-in-law…you might have gotten it too.  It was the “Letter to Always” from Wendi Aarons.  Well, I think a lot of folks read these things, laugh, forward them to their [...]

  • 218. Lyra  |  September 17th, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    Though I think it’s wrong to assume that all women and girls suffer that much from periods, I have to agree that the letter is brilliantly witty, and the slogan in question ridiculous. Good one, Wendi!

  • 219. Bitsy Cazel  |  September 19th, 2009 at 8:35 am

    Poor Janelle needs to get a sense of humor.

  • 220. kelly  |  September 25th, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    i read the comment regarding how great a “diva cup” is. are you freaking kidding me? how does that work while you are at work or wherever all day long and must use a public restroom? i don’t know what’s more lame: a diva cup or the have a happy period ad campaign!!

  • 221. ihavenomouth  |  September 28th, 2009 at 7:12 am

    Not only is there slogan ‘Have a happy period’ which is incredibly brave of them, but they also say, “This is the time of month that no toenail should go unpolished.” Because seriously, when you’re on your period is a great time to be bending over and painting your toenails. We women must make ourselves pretty at all times. *rolls eyes*

  • 222. Jenna  |  October 14th, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    This is fantastic. I would have a much happier period if my pad said “vehicular manslaughter is wrong” “put down the hammer” or “happy “you’re not pregnant” day!” Bleeding out your vagina would be so much more fun with a sense of humor.

  • 223. Nikki  |  October 14th, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I just want to smash something every single time I see/hear that damn commercial!!! I feel that way when I’m not on my period, and it only gets worse when I am! I’m one of those people who seriously can’t have a happy period. anxiety, depression, etc., etc., PLUS a visit from Aunt Flo does not a happy woman make. I’m also one of those women who had to go on the pill BECAUSE of my period. ever had someone use a jackhammer on your uterus? me either, but that’s what I equate the pain I was in to.

    I do have to add that Jenna’s “happy “you’re not pregnant” day!” would make a great tag line too. lol

  • 224. Aqua  |  October 18th, 2009 at 9:13 pm

    I wholly agree with your letter! My best-friend-since-5th-grade has 2 younger twin sisters and I myself have an older sister, and we both agree that in a house filled with female pms-ing, the sentence “Have a happy period” makes anyone want to scream. I really hope that you sent this letter!

  • 225. Megan  |  December 8th, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    Just found this. Wonderful letter. Periods do suck incredibly, but I want to add something else to the list of womanly complaints:
    OVARIAN FUCKING CISTS.
    Nothing has been more painful for me than those horrid things, but then I’ve never had a child. Something to look forward to, I guess?

  • 226. Not the best in the bunch&hellip  |  January 23rd, 2010 at 5:35 pm

    [...] perhaps, be enjoyed the very most by women, say, between the ages of 14 and 55?  Read it here.  OH, do I LOVE a funny [...]

  • 227. Bethanne  |  April 13th, 2010 at 1:09 pm

    Thanks for this! I have read that message and felt nauseated several times. Thanks! Sister!

  • 228. Former Austinite  |  April 20th, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    My husband thought I had lost my mind I was laughing so hard when I read this. I know I’m late to the party on this one but you nailed it! I still see ads for this though, so they are apparently fucking stupid and no pms-ing woman has found the office to shot it up. God I can’t wait for menopause. I think I’ll take hot flashes over this every 3 weeks bullshit.

  • 229. Christy  |  April 25th, 2010 at 4:50 am

    LMAO! Wendi that is the FUNNIEST and TRUEST thing I have read in forever. YOU ROCK!

  • 230. The Two Funniest Complain&hellip  |  April 25th, 2010 at 9:25 am

    [...] Wendi Aarons complaining about ‘Always’ maxi pads to Brand Manager Mr. Thatcher. You must read the full letter on her site. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank [...]

  • 231. Jenna  |  May 20th, 2010 at 8:45 am

    youre my hero. did really send that letter? i died lmaoo xD

  • 232. Billy  |  June 7th, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    I didn’t think you were a real person but I’ll be damned. This is great, way to go!

  • 233. Jo  |  June 27th, 2010 at 4:32 am

    I love this. I also love to think that it may have played a part in inspiring the new ads for another company…I think it’s Kotex?…where the women speak very sarcastically about how “wonderful” they feel on their period. You know, “On day two I like to wear a white bikini…by day five, I just want to squeeze something soft and cuddly. Like my cat…” LOL

  • 234. Elizabeth  |  July 24th, 2010 at 3:15 am

    Wendi, thank you for the great laugh. As a former sufferer of “periods from hell”, I totally understand your angst and agree that the person who dreamt up this ‘wonderful’ (note sarcasm) ad campaign needs to be savagely beaten about the head.

    Over the years I’ve come to know a number of very lovely women who have been sufferers of some very nasty afflictions such as PCOS and endometriosis. Their monthly visits from Aunty Flo made mine a walk in the park by comparison, and I lost count years ago of the days and nights I spent drugged out of my skull on painkillers, still crying in agony.

    A number of ladies here have expressed similar “What the???” views as I previously had about menstrual cups (diva cup and the like) but I have to say that I wish I’d found this nifty little thing decades ago. Yes, it can leak (if it’s not in properly) but no worse than a tampon “leaks” when it’s full. Difference is, a cup doesn’t need to be changed every few hours. Even on my heaviest days I go around 8 hours before it needs to be emptied, compared to soaking a super tampon every 1 to 2 hours followed by the pad business overnight (and the subsequent daily “change the sheets” because I had the audacity to move in my sleep, causing the pad to slip and the mess to go everywhere.)

    I freely admit that the cup isn’t for everyone. If it’s not your thing, or it didn’t work for you, that’s fine. However, it worked a treat for me. No more tampons, no more pads, no more changing the sheets every day for a week, no more cramps, no more bloating, no more crying myself to sleep due to the pain, no more being drugged out of my mind on painkillers. When women who used them told me all this, I didn’t really believe that this silicone thing could actually change all that, but I was so desperate I tried it and I’m eternally thankful I did.

  • 235. christie  |  July 24th, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    did you get a response to this? is it posted anywhere?

    great stuff, i’ve seen it on many sites now!

  • 236. Kim  |  September 7th, 2010 at 9:52 am

    OMG! I can’t believe I had heard of this before! I too boycotted Always when they started printing that “Have a happy period!” on the little paper that covers the sticky stuff. It’s in such tiny letter but when I bent over to rip it off I froze in shock. That was the moment I vowed never to buy that brand again. I’ve stuck by that decision too, preferring instead to go with locally made cotton reusables or (in a pinch) other brands of disposables.

    I’ve also had occasion to rant about this to anyone unfortunate enough to set me off about it.

    Your letter though was pure gold. If only I’d known about it at the time, I’d have signed any petition you might have cared to start with it.

    I am so glad I’m not the only one!

  • 237. Maegan  |  September 15th, 2010 at 10:00 pm

    Amen sister!!
    Funniest thing I’ve read all week! I really hope you sent it.

    :)

  • 238. PurpleMadness  |  September 25th, 2010 at 8:21 pm

    20% of women don’t get menstrual pains, including me, but I can see where you’re going with this. It must be annoying as heck to have someone tell you ‘Happy Period’, when it’s so taxing. That’s like telling someone to, have happy surgery.

  • 239. sista hazel  |  October 25th, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    i’m gonna have to say, there is nothing happy about IT. PERIOD.

  • 240. Sre , Austin TX  |  November 12th, 2010 at 3:05 pm

    bang on! have a happy period, my ass!
    its been 3 years since your post and you’re still getting comments! :)

    great job!

  • 241. Emily  |  November 17th, 2010 at 8:29 am

    I can’t believe this ad campaign has been going for 3 years! What stupidity! Great letter.

  • 242. Thanksgiving Travelog: St&hellip  |  November 25th, 2010 at 10:47 am

    [...] 3:45pm Unplanned stop at gas station when Google directions indicate a left turn onto Angel Terrace. Angel Terrace is actually spotted on the right. Call placed to grandad who informs us that Angel Terrace does not factor into the directions at all. Mommy makes mental note to fire off nasty letter to Google map coders, a la the infamous “Always Letter”. [...]

  • 243. Wendy Banks  |  February 11th, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Oh, my! *LMFAO!* *grins*

  • 244. Laura  |  April 22nd, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    Can you believe that, not only is this ad campaign still going, they actually have “Happy Period” e-cards you can send to your friends?!?! My friends would murder me.

    Hope you’re still writing, Wendy!

  • 245. Roxyana Wolvreina  |  April 30th, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    I’m seventeen. I don’t have my period due to hormone issues…
    But when I DID have it, it was most certainly NOT happy. Feeling as if my insides were some sentient parasite trying to eat its way out? Being in unbearable pain all night long and being unable to walk the day afterwords from the soreness in my uterus? Having to got to the hospital twice because the bleeding wouldn’t stop? Take your “Happy Period” bullshit and shove it.

    Wendi, you are a genius and an awesome woman for writing this. Truly, I applaud you~!

  • 246. Finding Something To Smil&hellip  |  July 3rd, 2011 at 6:38 am

    [...] and linked to the site…if you’ve never read that gem, you’ll find it here…The Always Letter..by Wendi Aarons, and she’s been making me smile and laugh ever [...]

  • 247. Shawna Martin  |  December 2nd, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    I really love you. And I just met you today. I think you may have changed my life.

  • 248. wendyleigh  |  May 11th, 2012 at 12:13 am

    wow. dunno how i missed this OVER 5 YEARS ago, lol… but it’s brilliant. my goodness. well, ever since i could use a tampon, i shunned pads (yes, i know the risks, so y’all can shut it. thankyouverymuch) except for when i gave birth to my sons and had to use them. ugh. and still i didn’t know that Always every did this campaign. how asinine. have a happy period. that’s like saying “happy 4th degree vaginal tearing during childbirth!” cos then… yeah, right… it’ll be all better. meh. oh, and my menstrual pains were just as bad a childbirth pains, so there was never anything happy about any of my periods.

  • 249. Dave  |  June 5th, 2012 at 11:51 am

    What it should say on the maxi pad wrapper is: “Wow, haven’t you ever heard of a tampon?”

  • 250. Tess  |  June 27th, 2012 at 1:09 pm

    Hey Dave, why don’t you shove a tampon up you ass and go to work all day and tell me how comfortable you find it.

  • 251. The Open Mic Salon: Givin&hellip  |  August 9th, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    [...] And our fabulous LTYM:Austin director Wendi Aarons sent us off with a reading of the internet sensation–her Always maxipad letter. [...]

  • 252. Donna Heiss  |  September 25th, 2012 at 2:15 pm

    Magnificent letter. I too stopped purchasing the product the first time I saw the words, “have a happy period”.

    I do NOT “have a happy period”. I have hemmoraging from fibroids. So you lost $50.00 a month from me.

    Put a diaper on and see how you like it. Putting that saying on those pads is like saying to every woman, Ha Ha, we are making money off your curse. I’m 51. Patients are gone. Your saying is offensive.

  • 253. Kathryn V  |  October 12th, 2012 at 3:43 pm

    Freaking HIGH-larious and so very true!

  • 254. [ENTJ] Favorite funny/hum&hellip  |  January 13th, 2013 at 5:11 am

    [...] [...]

  • 255. Saturday Six #39 - Misadv&hellip  |  March 19th, 2013 at 5:54 pm

    [...] the email that seems to be going around the world since 2007! In a post referred to as “The Always Letter,” Wendi Aarons writes an imaginary letter to the brand manager of the maker of Always pads.  [...]

  • 256. Karla  |  April 7th, 2013 at 2:25 am

    There is currently a commercial being aired for Charmin toilet paper with the slogan “enjoy the go.” I immediately thought of this letter and wondered if Wendi had anything to say about it. The “Always” letter one of my biggest laughs in life!

  • 257. How laughing got me start&hellip  |  June 24th, 2013 at 7:07 am

    [...] Thank you right now to Wendi Aarons and Cakewrecks.  They also validated my vague unease with Always commercials and cupcake [...]


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